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 Homebrew: Lemon Eater feat
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Acolyte

USA
5 Posts

Posted - 24 Oct 2019 :  03:29:40  Show Profile Send no a Private Message  Reply with Quote  Delete Topic
This one's more of a joke than anything, but I want some experience/peer review as a new homebrewer, so here goes:

Feat: Lemon Eater
(Prerequisite: Constitution 15 or higher)
Only the most fearless dare to eat lemons as ordinary folk eat apples. Your... interesting palate has given you resistance to acid damage and complete immunity to scurvy.

...and that's why I'm banned from Mechanus.

no
Acolyte

USA
5 Posts

Posted - 24 Oct 2019 :  04:00:56  Show Profile Send no a Private Message  Reply with Quote
For those wondering what in the Nine Hells of Baator induced me to create this, here's the story:
Several weeks ago a few friends of mine were discussing food when one of them mentioned that she liked salted lemons. The other was baffled by the idea of eating a lemon on its own and started asking people nearby if they would actually like to eat a whole lemon. It took him half a dozen tries to find someone who wouldn't and ended up running around the hallway yelling "WHAT THE F**K IS HAPPENING?!" Apparently this was a paradigm shift for him. He spent the rest of lunch yelling about how lemons are NOT "the sour candies of nature" (as I called them) and got a few weird looks from passerby.

That night, I decided to buy some lemons.

The next day, I brought two lemons as my lunch. I let the aforementioned salted lemon connoisseur have one and sat down to wait. When my lemon-hating friend arrived, he took one look at us and damn near turned around and left. He claimed he wasn't going into this again, but then I took a large bite out of my lemon. Peel and all.

Chaos ensued.

...and that's why I'm banned from Mechanus.
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sleyvas
Skilled Spell Strategist

USA
11701 Posts

Posted - 24 Oct 2019 :  04:38:35  Show Profile Send sleyvas a Private Message  Reply with Quote
So, this could also be a feat created for intelligent lemons that want to eat the flesh of captured drow slaves.... I mean since we're getting silly and all :-)

Alavairthae, may your skill prevail

Phillip aka Sleyvas
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no
Acolyte

USA
5 Posts

Posted - 24 Oct 2019 :  04:53:40  Show Profile Send no a Private Message  Reply with Quote
That's oddly specific... Are you a sentient, sapient lemon? Do you have little pipe cleaner legs and googly eyes? Are you coming to kill me right now?

...and that's why I'm banned from Mechanus.
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sleyvas
Skilled Spell Strategist

USA
11701 Posts

Posted - 24 Oct 2019 :  18:54:41  Show Profile Send sleyvas a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Absolutely not, that would be insane. I'm a flying red book with the title "the red book of spell strategy" that likes to talk by flapping my covers, or sometimes a deck of "wheel of spells", or sometimes I'm known to take on the form of a weapon. I'm often seen in the company of a flying sai named Lorey who likes to spout poetry and impress others with his knowledge of history.

Alavairthae, may your skill prevail

Phillip aka Sleyvas
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BenN
Senior Scribe

Japan
382 Posts

Posted - 25 Oct 2019 :  00:25:18  Show Profile Send BenN a Private Message  Reply with Quote
One of the benefits of this feat would be an increase in CHA, specifically calm persuasiveness in high-stress situations.

The ability to control your facial features while eating a lemon (i.e. avoid pucker mouth, cheeks sucked in, eyes screwed shut tightly) gives you added mental & physical toughness. Useful in negotiations, playing poker, etc.

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