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 NPC idea for Starfinder - funny
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sleyvas
Great Reader

USA
8036 Posts

Posted - 21 May 2019 :  15:55:35  Show Profile Send sleyvas a Private Message  Reply with Quote  Delete Topic
Let me start this off by saying I've never even LOOKED at the rules for starfinder. However, one of my buddies is playing it and having fun as a character. So, basing the below on some current pop culture ideas, I just came up with something that made me giggle. I figured I'd share it, and see if it makes anyone want to come up with additions. I've talked to the DM about having the antics of Supernova Squirrel and his sidekick become the rumors that they hear about in bars, or the party's new client is someone they saved, etc... I would love to have some imagery for this.




Two new NPC’s:

Supernova Squirrel.... he will be a master of tech, especially rifles and explosives... He’ll wear a winged golden helmet… and he'll look like an oversized squirrel.... and he'll have a partner that's a mix of cactus and aloe vera plant... whose name will be Cactichu... and he pops out of a red and white ball that I throw and then grows to large size while shooting his arms forward and spearing people with his thorns. Oh, and the only words he knows how to pronounce is “Cacta Cacta” and "Cactichu", but somehow Supernova Squirrel understand everything he says.



His spaceship will be coal black, blackened windows, with lightning, a hammer as a hood ornament, a green chick in a bikini painted on the front reclining back, and on the back, a small squirrel looking back over his shoulder while grinning and getting a nut. It will have giant speakers that serve as audio blasters, and when I play my music, it blasts the enemy. Two favorite tunes to play through the audio blasters are Immigrant Song by Led Zeppelin and Break Stuff by Limp Bizkit, mainly because they’re awesome while having a space dogfight.





Cactichu has a special ability wherein he can draw on light energy and store it up and poop it out as an acorn the size of my fist. Supernova Squirrel has developed a special bazooka like weapon that I call “The Nutblaster 6900” that you insert an acorn, use the pump action grip to separate the cap of the acorn from the fruit, and it turns all of the fruit of the acorn into a giant one-shot laser blast, and then it ejects the acorn cap. The Nutblaster 6900 can only be shot once a day because it heats up so much from that one shot.



Supernova Squirrel and Cactichu were part of a cosmos roaming team of mercenary crime fighters for good (some refer to them as “murder hobos”, but those are just mean types). That team was “The Universarians of Yggdrasil” (yeah, the team was drunk on homebrewed acorn wine when they came up with the name). The other team members were



Empyrean Lord – a Light Elf bard from the realm of Alfheim who is handy with a blaster

Spamora – a pink skinned, purple haired alien chick with a somewhat flat snout, but otherwise hot. She is a master of fighting with the spiked chain and the long range laser rifle.

Deimos the Dreaded – Midgard born, he claimed to be the child of Aphrodite and Ares, but we all know that the Greek myths are fake. He is possessed however of huge muscles, long black hair, numerous scars, and an amazing breadth of skill with weaponry. It helps to make up for his entire lack of wit and common sense. He sought revenge against a supposed Titan (some kind of offshoot giant breed) <insert name of nasty villain> for murdering his mortal wife and children.



All the other members of the Universarians of Yggdrasil have just suddenly disappeared from the universe, and similar stories are being heard all over of people just disappearing, and few know why. Some blame that nasty villain that Deimos the Dreaded was always running his mouth about, but Supernova Squirrel thinks they’re just running their heads too.



Oh, and on his secret origin story…… shhhh, Don’t tell…. Supernova Squirrel’s secret identity is Svignar Ratatoskson. He’s the result of the union between an over-drunk dwarven druidess (with a furry fetish and the ability to wildshape into animal form) and the infamous squirrel of Yggdrasil, Ratatosk. This is why he has such a long dangling goatee for a squirrel humanoid (which he has dyed black). As a result, Supernova Squirrel got the best of both worlds, Ratatosk’s natural skill at cursing in old Norse, and he learned dwarven tech skills in Nidavellir from his uncle, Alvindar, a master dwarven craftsman. He also learned the secrets of brewing, alchemy, and chemistry from his druidess mother. Supernova Squirrel seeks to find his father, who infamously travels the length and breadth of Yggdrasil carrying messages like “Nidhogg’s momma was so fat that they had to add Hogg as their family name” from the eagle at the top of Yggdrasil to the dragon, Nidhogg, in Niflheim at the bottom.





Alavairthae, may your skill prevail

Phillip aka Sleyvas

Wooly Rupert
Master of Mischief
Moderator

USA
32106 Posts

Posted - 21 May 2019 :  18:12:33  Show Profile Send Wooly Rupert a Private Message  Reply with Quote
External speakers aren't going to do anything for you in a vacuum. There's nothing to carry the sound, in space.

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sleyvas
Great Reader

USA
8036 Posts

Posted - 21 May 2019 :  23:58:29  Show Profile Send sleyvas a Private Message  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Wooly Rupert

External speakers aren't going to do anything for you in a vacuum. There's nothing to carry the sound, in space.



Wooly with the amazing amount of BS I have in that, I will figure out a way to convert sound waves into laser pulses. I mean after all, I do have a wild shaping dwarven druidess with a furry fetish mating with a giant squirrel in a tree big enough to span the cosmos.

Alavairthae, may your skill prevail

Phillip aka Sleyvas
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