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Sightless
Senior Scribe
USA
608 Posts |
 Posted - 09 May 2012 : 22:02:54
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For all you DMs out there, two questions, have you ever rung a game with a disabled player? And if you have, have you ever had a player that was uncomfortable with that player? If yes, how did you deal with it? Every question has a story, and so do all of these. I welcome comments and suggestions one and all; so does my DM.
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We choose to live a lie, when we see with, & not through the eye.
Every decision, no matter the evidence, is a leap of faith; if it were not, then it wouldn't be a choice at all. |
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Dalor Darden
Great Reader
USA
4211 Posts |
Posted - 10 May 2012 : 00:13:41
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I have run games with players of all sorts. I've never had a blind or deaf player however, and I think these would be the most difficult obstacles to overcome because many DMs are not accustomed to dealing with the blind or hearing impaired.
My first wife was deaf though, so I would have been able to compensate if it came up on that front. |
The Old Grey Box and AD&D for me! |
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Jeremy Grenemyer
Great Reader
USA
2717 Posts |
Posted - 10 May 2012 : 06:08:55
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I've not run a game for a disabled player, though I've players accuse one another of being effectively learning disabled a time or two.
Something tells me that if I had a blind player, my ability to convey to them what was going on in the game would rely on whether or not they were born blind. I think if they were not, it'd be easier for the player to relate to the descriptions I give.
If they were born blind, I'd have to really get to know the player so as to figure out just how to engage their imagination and otherwise "get them going" in terms of buy in for the game. I say this because I can't assume words that describe colors or even words for things are something the player would necessarily get the same mileage out of as a sighted player.
Hrm... |
Look for me and my content at EN World (user name: sanishiver). |
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Erik Scott de Bie
Forgotten Realms Author
USA
4598 Posts |
Posted - 10 May 2012 : 06:28:34
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I've run a game with a deaf player before, but she was really good at reading lips, so as long as I reminded myself to look at her directly when describing things, it went ok. Plus her sister was there to help with sign language as necessary. It was not a problem, and everyone seemed fine with it.
Not disability-specific, but my gaming tables have been a great place for people of various backgrounds to come together. The first few sessions are a little strange sometimes, as people adjust to different perspectives and senses of humor, but generally friendships get made there.
Cheers |
Erik Scott de Bie
'Tis easier to destroy than to create.
Author of a number of Realms novels (GHOSTWALKER, DEPTHS OF MADNESS, and the SHADOWBANE series), contributor to the NEVERWINTER CAMPAIGN GUIDE and SHADOWFELL: GLOOMWROUGHT AND BEYOND, Twitch DM of the Dungeon Scrawlers, currently playing "The Westgate Irregulars" |
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Markustay
Realms Explorer extraordinaire
USA
15724 Posts |
Posted - 10 May 2012 : 17:40:31
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We had a sightless player in my group named Lisa, who was one of the College students at Stonybrook university (most of the group was.. it was a VERY large group).
I did not run any sessions she was part of - she mostly played Chivalry & Sorcery, which is an extremely complex RPG and beyond my meager skills to run. Our Dm - an Ed-class genius named Rusty Young - did a superb job keeping a group of 30 players all busy and entertained, and never had a problem with Lisa's physical challenge, nor did anyone else (that I can recall).
My ex-wife has three cousins that are special-needs, and I (nor anyone else they were related to) ever treated them any differently.
I guess its all a matter of how you were raised. I had chronic asthma, and spent 2-3 months out of each year in the hosptital in an oxygen tent (they don't use those anymore), until I turned 13 (when my asthma grew less severe). I had to take a 'little bus' to school because of it, even though I lived fairly close, and was often teased because of it.
In HS, when I got to be 6' tall and outweighed most of my classmates, I became VERY protective of anyone with disabilities, and the only fights I ever got into was to defend others (I never bothered to defend myself). My son David, who had to go to a special school when he was little because he had severe ADHD (he would have very violent outbursts), was later main-streamed, and behaved exactly the way I did in HS... and he is 6'3" and all muscle.
Not everyone is a jerk, and there are people on your side. If someone is being an ass, most of the time you should look to the parents - environment is the most important factor. Don't hate them - pity their ignorance. |
"I have never in my life learned anything from any man who agreed with me" --- Dudley Field Malone
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Edited by - Markustay on 11 May 2012 18:54:46 |
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Delwa
Master of Realmslore
USA
1268 Posts |
Posted - 11 May 2012 : 21:50:22
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I'm a DM, and I have never run a game with a person with a disability.
However, I do work full-time for my local Disabilties and Special Needs Board as a Home Caregiver.
If I ever did have a disabled person at a game, I'd take the opportunity to be extra creative depending on the disability. I'm fluent in sign language, so that would help me a little.
Personally, if a player was uncomfortable with a disabled person playing, I would work with them to help them be more comfortable, understand their fellow player better, but if they were a jerk about it, they would be free to leave.
Visual aids could help a lot with communication, too. Print out major monologues or something like that. If the person has a smaller vocabulary, Microsoft Word used to give a grade level statistic when you did a spell check, if you set it up right. Print out basic monologues and make sure the vocabulary is appropriate to the person you are trying to reach.
Just be creative.
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- Delwa Aunglor
I am off to slay yon refrigerator and spoil it's horde. Go for the cheese, Boo!
"The Realms change; seldom at the speed desired of those who strive, but far too quickly for those who resist." - The Simbul, taken from the Forgotten Realms Campaign Conspectus |
Edited by - Delwa on 11 May 2012 21:53:12 |
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Sightless
Senior Scribe
USA
608 Posts |
Posted - 11 May 2012 : 22:20:46
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quote:
Originally posted by Delwa
I'm a DM, and I have never run a game with a person with a disability.
However, I do work full-time for my local Disabilties and Special Needs Board as a Home Caregiver.
If I ever did have a disabled person at a game, I'd take the opportunity to be extra creative depending on the disability. I'm fluent in sign language, so that would help me a little.
Personally, if a player was uncomfortable with a disabled person playing, I would work with them to help them be more comfortable, understand their fellow player better, but if they were a jerk about it, they would be free to leave.
Visual aids could help a lot with communication, too. Print out major monologues or something like that. If the person has a smaller vocabulary, Microsoft Word used to give a grade level statistic when you did a spell check, if you set it up right. Print out basic monologues and make sure the vocabulary is appropriate to the person you are trying to reach.
Just be creative.
Tell it to them straight:
I wanted to get a few questions before I went further, but given the nature of the response, I'll start here. The person uncomfortable happens to be the blood relation of the DM in question. For various reasons she has not been present for the previous games that I've played in. So, the options are, I go, having one player being uncomfortable, possibly making other people uncomfortable, which had happened in a few previous sessions where we were both present; I wait until she's not there and go; or I don't go at all.
The problem becomes at one point does one state the possibility that the person will eventually gets over their discomforture, if ever, versus, the whole this is supposed to be a good time for everyone, and if my presence is affecting the good time of someone, then should I continue. Let me phrase this a different way, should I do something with the hope that it will positively alter someone's mental perspective, or should I stay away for the sake of attempting to maintain the spirit of fun that the game is supposed to foster?
I do thank you all for your responses, they are useful in various ways.
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We choose to live a lie, when we see with, & not through the eye.
Every decision, no matter the evidence, is a leap of faith; if it were not, then it wouldn't be a choice at all. |
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Delwa
Master of Realmslore
USA
1268 Posts |
Posted - 11 May 2012 : 23:18:01
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quote:
Originally posted by Sightless
The problem becomes at one point does one state the possibility that the person will eventually gets over their discomforture, if ever, versus, the whole this is supposed to be a good time for everyone, and if my presence is affecting the good time of someone, then should I continue. Let me phrase this a different way, should I do something with the hope that it will positively alter someone's mental perspective, or should I stay away for the sake of attempting to maintain the spirit of fun that the game is supposed to foster?
I do thank you all for your responses, they are useful in various ways.
I would talk to the DM in private away from the game (i.e., not before the session) and just ask him how you should best handle it.
If he is blood relative to the uncomfortable person, he knows that person somewhat better. Maybe he'll have a suggestion to help you and his relative understand each other better and ease the discomfort.
Maybe he could even let you meet the relative out of game and get to know each other.
I wouldn't want to cause drama, but at the same time, it's reasonable for you to try and be friendly and work out a solution where everyone wins.
:) |
- Delwa Aunglor
I am off to slay yon refrigerator and spoil it's horde. Go for the cheese, Boo!
"The Realms change; seldom at the speed desired of those who strive, but far too quickly for those who resist." - The Simbul, taken from the Forgotten Realms Campaign Conspectus |
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Dalor Darden
Great Reader
USA
4211 Posts |
Posted - 11 May 2012 : 23:19:11
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| Stick it to them Sightless! People adapt or not, but that shouldn't shadow your decisions. Live your life for you. |
The Old Grey Box and AD&D for me! |
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xedrick
Seeker
82 Posts |
Posted - 13 May 2012 : 20:35:40
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+1 for what Dalor said.
The game should be fun for all, including you. If your disability makes the other person uncomfortable, they are to blame for being a bigot, not you. |
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Zireael
Master of Realmslore
Poland
1190 Posts |
Posted - 13 May 2012 : 20:40:26
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I am hard-of-hearing. In a group of 5, I had no problems following the flow of the action in 2 sessions I playes. Granted, we were playing in a quiet room; but then, none of the other players knew me beforehand...
Well, if I make it to the next meeting, I hope it won't turn out worse... |
SiNafay Vrinn, the daughter of Lloth, from Ched Nasad!
http://zireael07.wordpress.com/ |
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Thrasymachus
Learned Scribe
195 Posts |
Posted - 16 May 2012 : 07:33:58
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It sounds like the horse has left the barn in your case, but some relevant food for thought for the next time…
Whenever we had someone who wanted to join the playgroup, they were on probation for 5 games, and then voted on. You needed unanimous approval to be in. No one had to justify his or her vote, because it was a secret ballot. A person might not want to play with other for oh so many reasons, but if you had a seat at the table, well then you had a seat at the table.
What I ended up with was a group that even when they argued bitterly (in game or out), they all at least accepted that person, because they had a say.
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Former Forgotten Realms brand manager Jim Butler: "Everything that bears the Forgotten Realms logo is considered canon". |
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Sightless
Senior Scribe
USA
608 Posts |
Posted - 16 May 2012 : 16:17:12
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quote:
Originally posted by Thrasymachus
It sounds like the horse has left the barn in your case, but some relevant food for thought for the next time…
Whenever we had someone who wanted to join the playgroup, they were on probation for 5 games, and then voted on. You needed unanimous approval to be in. No one had to justify his or her vote, because it was a secret ballot. A person might not want to play with other for oh so many reasons, but if you had a seat at the table, well then you had a seat at the table.
What I ended up with was a group that even when they argued bitterly (in game or out), they all at least accepted that person, because they had a say.
I'll suggest that to the next DM I meet, and already have to the one I already know. I'll also put that in play if I ever DM myself.
As for my decision, you all brought up good points, and hope people continue to do so. The problem is that the person becomes extremly nervous around me, both in and out of game. I've encountered this problem before, and in some cases it takes months for the person to get over the anxiety that my presence creates. I decided not to continue with the campaign as a consequence. Many of the players I know outside, so my absence wont become a problem. Does this mean I wont get to play for a while, perhaps a very long while, yes. It does mean though that the group remains it's cohesion, as they have known each other, and for the most part, played with each other far longer. To me, that's more important.
She's going to get over this very slowly, and my being at a game wouldn't be condusive to that end. |
We choose to live a lie, when we see with, & not through the eye.
Every decision, no matter the evidence, is a leap of faith; if it were not, then it wouldn't be a choice at all. |
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Dalor Darden
Great Reader
USA
4211 Posts |
Posted - 16 May 2012 : 16:33:29
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I disagree with your choice...
Should a Black American not play with a group because one person at the table has never been around Black Americans before and gets nervous? Should a Japanese player not feel welcome to play with a group that includes a Chinese player because of past conflicts between their nations that neither had anything to do with? Should ANYONE be forced out of a situation simply because someone feels awkward?
...however, I respect your choice and see kindness in your decision; it simply isn't the road I would walk upon.
Kudos to you for your willingness to sacrifice for another; but I truly feel people need to face things head on so that they learn to cope. Not talking about you...but the other player might benefit greatly from facing their anxiety and dealing with it. |
The Old Grey Box and AD&D for me! |
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Sightless
Senior Scribe
USA
608 Posts |
Posted - 16 May 2012 : 18:39:51
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Perhaps I was unclear, I'm not giveng up my interactions with the group, I'm not giving up total interactions with the uncomfortable person. It's just going to take her time to get over her views of me and her issue.
Dalor, your point is vald, but not entirely applicable. her discomfort is do as much to perception of a violation of normality. Not overt racism. Let me show you how this works, in a highly simplified format.
I know how to interact with most people, but X has a disability, making he/she, not normal. How then do I interact with him/her. I don't know how. Anxiety comes about as a consequence. She's going to have to see me as a person that can't see, and not somebody that's blind. the first defines the person in the form of the disability, at least in this case, and not simply someone with a disability.
I made this choice, because first, my presence, before she is ready will only exasterbate the issue. It will make her uncomfortable, which will make others uncomfortable as a consequence to varying degrees, which will make me less at ease, as a result. This negative ripple would serve no good purpose. In time, slow and regular contact, more through phone conversations and brief highly controled situations, will help, I hope, her get over it. I will not force the issue, as such a thing would be dishonorable for me to do so. If she can't get over it, then so be it, I can understand, and it is from that understanding that I can make such a decision. Perhaps now you understand my actions a little better, Dalor, even if you do not agree with them. I am not saying what is best for anyone else, only what decision I thought was best for me, in this situation.
While agree with your statement people need to deal with their problems head on, some lack the knowledge on how best to do so, they then let their on fears take the better of them. They see the events from those tented lenses. In the mean while. |
We choose to live a lie, when we see with, & not through the eye.
Every decision, no matter the evidence, is a leap of faith; if it were not, then it wouldn't be a choice at all. |
Edited by - Sightless on 16 May 2012 18:44:53 |
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Dalor Darden
Great Reader
USA
4211 Posts |
Posted - 16 May 2012 : 19:50:50
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| Best of luck to you no matter how it goes...just best wishes from me! |
The Old Grey Box and AD&D for me! |
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Dealing with Disabled players and such.
