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Samantha Henderson
Forgotten Realms Author
USA
7 Posts |
 Posted - 03 May 2011 : 18:51:20
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For any interested, I've posted the first chapter of Dawnbringer on my LiveJournal. It's in three parts, and the first part is here: here: http://samhenderson.livejournal.com/170240.html#cutid1
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Edited by - Samantha Henderson on 03 May 2011 18:53:05
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Bakra
Senior Scribe
628 Posts |
Posted - 03 May 2011 : 21:25:28
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Thanks, it is an interesting read. I normally avoid novels with 'star-crossed lovers' in the description but I'll make an exception for your book.
Out of curiosity, where did you get the name 'Ping' from? |
I hope Candlekeep continues to be the friendly forum of fellow Realms-lovers that it has always been, as we all go through this together. If you don’t want to move to the “new” Realms, that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with either you or the “old” Realms. Goodness knows Candlekeep, and the hearts of its scribes, are both big enough to accommodate both. If we want them to be.
(Strikes dramatic pose, raises sword to gleam in the sunset, and hopes breeches won’t fall down.)
Enough for now. The Realms lives! I have spoken! Ale and light wines half price, served by a smiling Storm Silverhand fetchingly clad in thigh-high boots and naught else! Ahem . .
So saith Ed. <snip>
love to all,
THO
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The Red Walker
Great Reader
USA
3563 Posts |
Posted - 03 May 2011 : 21:25:57
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Thanks and Welcome to the 'keep!
Hopefully we will see plenty of you here.
Now Im off to follow your link! |
A little nonsense now and then, relished by the wisest men - Willy Wonka
"We need men who can dream of things that never were." -
John F. Kennedy, speech in Dublin, Ireland, June 28, 1963
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Samantha Henderson
Forgotten Realms Author
USA
7 Posts |
Posted - 03 May 2011 : 23:13:21
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Thanks for reading, Bakra and Walker!
Bakra, I think the name "Ping" might be the sound I associate with the character - the single ring of a bell, boding no good to anyone.
I hope you enjoy - the blurb focus on the "star-crossed lovers," but that's really only part of the plot.
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Diffan
Great Reader
USA
4430 Posts |
Posted - 04 May 2011 : 19:34:10
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Not sure if the Comment I posted work on the site so I'll just say it here: Very interesting and well done! I'm curious who this entity is and how it's avatar works with the artifact. Also, how the two Devas/Aasimars get involved.
One question though, did you use both terms of Aasimar/Deva or just Deva? |
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Samantha Henderson
Forgotten Realms Author
USA
7 Posts |
Posted - 04 May 2011 : 22:53:42
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Hi Diffan!
Thanks; I'm gald you like it! And to answer your question, they are called Devas throughout. |
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The Sage
Procrastinator Most High
Australia
31701 Posts |
Posted - 05 May 2011 : 01:21:09
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It's policy for me to never read sample chapters of upcoming books, because I don't like to spoil my initial reading of the novel, once I've got my copy.
But my better half, the indomitable Lady K, read through your sample first chapter, Samantha, and was immediately eager to see the rest of the book.
That brought a smile to my face.  |
Candlekeep Forums Moderator
Candlekeep - The Library of Forgotten Realms Lore
http://www.candlekeep.com -- Candlekeep Forum Code of Conduct
Scribe for the Candlekeep Compendium -- Volume IX now available (Oct 2007)
"So Saith Ed" -- the collected Candlekeep replies of Ed Greenwood
Zhoth'ilam Folio -- The Electronic Misadventures of a Rambling Sage |
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Dennis
Great Reader
9933 Posts |
Posted - 05 May 2011 : 04:38:35
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Off to check the link... |
Every beginning has an end. |
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Samantha Henderson
Forgotten Realms Author
USA
7 Posts |
Posted - 06 May 2011 : 02:04:31
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| That totally made my day, Sage! |
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Diffan
Great Reader
USA
4430 Posts |
Posted - 06 May 2011 : 04:25:15
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quote:
Originally posted by Samantha Henderson
Hi Diffan!
Thanks; I'm gald you like it! And to answer your question, they are called Devas throughout.
Fair enough. Best to keep with the current continunity. Looks like a great read and it'll be on my little B-day wish list  |
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The Sage
Procrastinator Most High
Australia
31701 Posts |
Posted - 06 May 2011 : 05:04:25
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quote:
Originally posted by Samantha Henderson
That totally made my day, Sage!
You're welcome. And I'm sure the Lady K will be pleased with this news herself. She's always the bright spark in my day as well.  |
Candlekeep Forums Moderator
Candlekeep - The Library of Forgotten Realms Lore
http://www.candlekeep.com -- Candlekeep Forum Code of Conduct
Scribe for the Candlekeep Compendium -- Volume IX now available (Oct 2007)
"So Saith Ed" -- the collected Candlekeep replies of Ed Greenwood
Zhoth'ilam Folio -- The Electronic Misadventures of a Rambling Sage |
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Josh82
Acolyte
10 Posts |
Posted - 10 May 2011 : 05:06:36
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I'm about 60% through the book on my Kindle. Was this book written for a different audience?
Mod Edit: I've temporarily removed a portion of this post, until I'm confident that a more considerate interpretation can be posted in its place. |
Edited by - The Sage on 10 May 2011 17:28:07 |
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Alystra Illianniis
Great Reader
USA
3750 Posts |
Posted - 10 May 2011 : 05:24:12
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Good grief. Not to nit-pick, but what the heck- Josh, have you ever heard the expression "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all"? That post was entirely uncalled for. If you don't like the book, that's fine, but don't insult the writer. That is NOT what these forums are for. Please refrain from such harsh comments and stick to what you did/didn't like.
And to everyone else- apologies if that came off too judgmental, but people who insult writers really raises my hackles. I've read plenty of stinkers in my time, but I've never ONCE used the kind of blatantly rude comments to describe a book. That's just poor reader etiquette. |
The Goddess is alive, and magic is afoot.
"Where Science ends, Magic begins" -Spiral, Uncanny X-Men #491
"You idiots! You've captured their STUNT doubles!" -Spaceballs
Lothir's character background/stats: http://forum.candlekeep.com/pop_profile.asp?mode=display&id=5469
My stories:
http://z3.invisionfree.com/Mickeys_Comic_Tavern/index.php?showforum=188
Lothir, courtesy of Sylinde (Deviant Art)/Luaxena (Chosen of Eilistraee)
http://sylinde.deviantart.com/#/d2z6e4u |
Edited by - Alystra Illianniis on 10 May 2011 05:27:40 |
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Josh82
Acolyte
10 Posts |
Posted - 10 May 2011 : 06:14:42
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You are quite mistaken Alystra. I did not insult the author, I insulted the book. I'm a paying customer so my feedback should be valued. If I sold a product I would want to hear honest reviews about it.
If Samantha had sold me a hamburger and I said it was undercooked and over seasoned would you be jumping down my throat? The book is terrible. The story has huge holes and the actual writing is equally bad. Descriptive writing is one thing but this book takes it to a new level.
There are many mistakes as well. There is a flashback to a fight against werewolves. The way the fight was described does not make sense unless this Jonhan character has eyes in the back of his head.
The use of Nicole and Nicol for the same person was also annoying. Those are just two minor things that really wouldn't have bothered me if the book was good.
There are just too many parts of the story that are completely unrealistic. A deva watching someone get murdered by an evil mageling on "holy ground" that isn't holy at all. Wouldn't a deva know if she was protecting a good place or an evil place? Wouldn't she at least sense that the place had nothing to do with any of the lawful gods? She never thought to ask? I guess a deva would knowingly allow a mage to kill an unarmed and restrained person (on supposed holy ground), even a half-orc, so that the mage could hide the truth.
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The Sage
Procrastinator Most High
Australia
31701 Posts |
Posted - 10 May 2011 : 06:14:49
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quote:
Originally posted by Josh82
I'm about 60% through the book on my Kindle. Was this book written for a different audience?
While you're certainly entitled to your own personal views on the book, I feel it necessary to point out that you could've found an alternate way of expressing your dislike without resorting to the kind of inappropriate language you've just displayed.
Many Realms authors visit these halls, and expend a measure of their precious time communing with readers here at Candlekeep. And while we vigilantly try to foster an open and friendly environment for such exchanges, your particularly nasty commentary, doesn't exactly help matters.
So, for future review-reference, please refrain from posting in such a manner. If you're uncertain of how to voice your displeasure, feel free to talk it over with me privately, and I'll see what we can come up with. |
Candlekeep Forums Moderator
Candlekeep - The Library of Forgotten Realms Lore
http://www.candlekeep.com -- Candlekeep Forum Code of Conduct
Scribe for the Candlekeep Compendium -- Volume IX now available (Oct 2007)
"So Saith Ed" -- the collected Candlekeep replies of Ed Greenwood
Zhoth'ilam Folio -- The Electronic Misadventures of a Rambling Sage |
Edited by - The Sage on 10 May 2011 17:28:54 |
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Josh82
Acolyte
10 Posts |
Posted - 10 May 2011 : 06:37:22
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| A biased opinion is no opinion at all but it is your house and your rules Sage. I was only trying to do my part to bring FR novels back to the level of quality they were at several years ago when 4 out of 5 books were be good. Nowadays it is closer to 1 out of 5. |
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Bakra
Senior Scribe
628 Posts |
Posted - 10 May 2011 : 17:03:12
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quote:
Originally posted by Josh82
A biased opinion is no opinion at all but it is your house and your rules Sage. I was only trying to do my part to bring FR novels back to the level of quality they were at several years ago when 4 out of 5 books were be good. Nowadays it is closer to 1 out of 5.
Josh82 here is a link to the code of conduct:
http://forum.candlekeep.com/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=5109
Please do us all a favor before you post any more book critiques and read the code.
If you don’t want to read them or have the time to read the whole code allow me to post certain important passages.
A. GENERAL FORUM POSTING RULES
Rule number FIVE (5)---- Always be courteous and polite to other members, Wizards of the Coast (WotC) staff and freelance authors who are involved in the development of WotC material. Remember, some WotC employees are members of the forum. Openly attacking other members will result in the suspension of your account.
B. SPECIFIC CONTENT RULES AND GUIDELINES
Specific rule number TWO (2)----Be polite when reviewing any novels or products. If you didn’t like the novel, then fine, let the author know with constructive criticism, not by a barrage of abuse or slating the whole book in an aggressive manner. On the other hand, if you liked the book, then please say so, i’m sure the author would love to hear that his work was appreciated by you.
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I hope Candlekeep continues to be the friendly forum of fellow Realms-lovers that it has always been, as we all go through this together. If you don’t want to move to the “new” Realms, that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with either you or the “old” Realms. Goodness knows Candlekeep, and the hearts of its scribes, are both big enough to accommodate both. If we want them to be.
(Strikes dramatic pose, raises sword to gleam in the sunset, and hopes breeches won’t fall down.)
Enough for now. The Realms lives! I have spoken! Ale and light wines half price, served by a smiling Storm Silverhand fetchingly clad in thigh-high boots and naught else! Ahem . .
So saith Ed. <snip>
love to all,
THO
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Tremaine
Seeker
United Kingdom
86 Posts |
Posted - 10 May 2011 : 17:30:20
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you can display you displeasure through a book by constructive criticism, I've seen posts by others who have hated some realm novel's but explained why (which you second post in the thread did)
just saying a novel is literary vomit helps no one out |
Edited by - Tremaine on 10 May 2011 17:31:02 |
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Samantha Henderson
Forgotten Realms Author
USA
7 Posts |
Posted - 10 May 2011 : 17:32:02
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| Hey, at least it's literary! |
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Thente Thunderspells
Seeker
USA
65 Posts |
Posted - 10 May 2011 : 18:44:36
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| I haven't been impressed with any of the 4e fiction that has come out so far, but I must say that the first sample chapter does look interesting! |
The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.
- Shakespeare |
Edited by - Thente Thunderspells on 10 May 2011 20:34:56 |
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Ranak
Learned Scribe
USA
190 Posts |
Posted - 10 May 2011 : 18:48:20
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quote:
Originally posted by Josh82
A biased opinion is no opinion at all but it is your house and your rules Sage. I was only trying to do my part to bring FR novels back to the level of quality they were at several years ago when 4 out of 5 books were be good. Nowadays it is closer to 1 out of 5.
Hey we are with you on the idea of constructive criticism - if you want to avoid violating the rules all you have to strip out general phrases like "this book is terrible" and stick to very specific things you didn't like.
If you had said, you were annoyed by the typos, thought the author spent too much time on descriptive text (with an example), pointed out the illogical fight scene, etc. you would have been fine.
To be fair to the author, you should avoid criticisms like "gaping plot" holes when we only have three sample chapters. Maybe there was a reason the Deva didn't act?
In any case, its perfectly fine to be critical, just cut out a couple of the blanket statements and you are golden. |
Edited by - Ranak on 10 May 2011 18:48:52 |
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Josh82
Acolyte
10 Posts |
Posted - 10 May 2011 : 22:44:27
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Thanks for the advice. I was mistaken about why I disliked this book. I didn't realize it at first. I was going to say that the book doesn't "flow" but I left that part out because I couldn't say why.
I figured it out though. It is the obscene usage of commas in the book. The author uses around 4-5 times as many commas as the average book. It makes for a jerky stop-go-stop-go reading experience.
I've read hundreds of books and I have never had an author use the same comma-heavy writing style throughout the entire book.
It's like, she put, at least, one comma, in every, other sentence, but some, have, 3, 4, 5, 6, or even 7 commas.
When we come across a comma while reading there is a slight mental delay while our brains register the comma. When you factor in the massive over-use of commas in this book it can make the book very annoying to read. I challenge anyone who has the book to open it to a few random pages and count the commas.
That is probably why I came here and complained. I've read other books lately that I didn't like but I didn't come here and complain. It was maddening use of commas that drove me to it.
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Alystra Illianniis
Great Reader
USA
3750 Posts |
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Dennis
Great Reader
9933 Posts |
Posted - 11 May 2011 : 04:26:06
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Too many dashes? Read Stephen King's books and you'll know what "too many" really means. I don't mind, though. He uses them effectively.
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Frankly, I don't find the sample chapter intriguing; not so much because of the author's style, but more because of the characters. But I'll wait for some spoiler-fraught reviews and see if I get interested. |
Every beginning has an end. |
Edited by - Dennis on 11 May 2011 04:27:03 |
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Alystra Illianniis
Great Reader
USA
3750 Posts |
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Dennis
Great Reader
9933 Posts |
Posted - 11 May 2011 : 05:02:23
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 You really do know me.
My door isn't closed, though. I might give it a try.
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Stephen King happens to be one of my "models." |
Every beginning has an end. |
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Elsenrail
Seeker
Poland
72 Posts |
Posted - 12 May 2011 : 21:56:45
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| Somthing bothers me. I've opened th book... and what? :o Roughly 2/3 of it takes place in 1584/85 and 1600? I'm really confused. 4e jumped the timeline 100 years into the future, but this like another 100, or even more. |
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Thente Thunderspells
Seeker
USA
65 Posts |
Posted - 12 May 2011 : 22:02:05
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| Don't have it so I'll wait for the author to post on that, but the Ch.1 Sample on her Livejournal site is: 1460 DR |
The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.
- Shakespeare |
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Dennis
Great Reader
9933 Posts |
Posted - 13 May 2011 : 02:01:51
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quote:
Originally posted by Elsenrail
Somthing bothers me. I've opened th book... and what? :o Roughly 2/3 of it takes place in 1584/85 and 1600? I'm really confused. 4e jumped the timeline 100 years into the future, but this like another 100, or even more.
Prelude to 5th Edition? |
Every beginning has an end. |
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Elsenrail
Seeker
Poland
72 Posts |
Posted - 13 May 2011 : 08:14:44
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I hope not. I'm about to start reading the book, but the simple fact that the vast majority of it is set 1584/5 or later really bothers me... because the decision to do it must have been approved by WotC.
Maybe the Mrs Henderson can cast some light on the issue? :/ |
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Bakra
Senior Scribe
628 Posts |
Posted - 13 May 2011 : 16:02:46
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From the Code of Conduct:
B. SPECIFIC CONTENT RULES AND GUIDELINES
1. When posting comments on a novel, please write “SPOILERS” within the thread's subject line if you’re the originator of the thread. If you’re responding to a post with information from the novel, please insert a spoiler space (ideally, 8-10 blank lines with a spoiler warning) prior to writing. Alternatively, you may select a font color to match the background with a line to instruct the reader to highlight the text to view the spoiler.
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I hope Candlekeep continues to be the friendly forum of fellow Realms-lovers that it has always been, as we all go through this together. If you don’t want to move to the “new” Realms, that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with either you or the “old” Realms. Goodness knows Candlekeep, and the hearts of its scribes, are both big enough to accommodate both. If we want them to be.
(Strikes dramatic pose, raises sword to gleam in the sunset, and hopes breeches won’t fall down.)
Enough for now. The Realms lives! I have spoken! Ale and light wines half price, served by a smiling Storm Silverhand fetchingly clad in thigh-high boots and naught else! Ahem . .
So saith Ed. <snip>
love to all,
THO
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Dawnbringer: First Chapter Posted
