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 Halloween: Ravenloft Song Parody...
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Jakk
Great Reader

Canada
2165 Posts

Posted - 18 Oct 2008 :  23:35:15  Show Profile Send Jakk a Private Message  Reply with Quote  Delete Topic
...with possible spoilers if anybody hasn't played *any* of the Ravenloft adventures (the classic original or "Return to Castle Ravenloft" in particular)...

(co-written by myself and my roommate/DM)











Spoiler space...











Spoiler space ending...











Von Zarovich Picnic (tune of "Teddy Bears Picnic")

If you go out in the mists today,
You'd better not scream or cry.
If you go out in the mists today,
You'd better prepare to die.
For every zombie ever there was
Is gathered there forever because
Today's the day von Zarovich has his picnic.

See him drifting down the stairs
He feeds on blood and tears
His way into all your major veins.
If his zombies grab your hairs
In no time flat they'll chow down on your brains.
Mindlessly they shamble 'bout,
They never cry or shout,
Voiceboxes in disrepair.
At six o'clock the mummies and banshees will wake the living dead,
And then we'll see how the party fares.

If you go out in the woods today,
The werewolves are really bad.
No, don't go out in the woods today,
You'd be better off with Strahd.
He's a vampire, his girlfriend's a ghost,
But still and all, a half-decent host.
Today's the day von Zarovich has his picnic.

See him drifting down the stairs
He feeds on blood and tears
His way into all your major veins.
If his zombies grab your hairs
In no time flat they'll chow down on your brains.
Mindlessly they shamble 'bout,
They never cry or shout,
Voiceboxes in disrepair.
At six o'clock the mummies and banshees will wake the living dead,
And then we'll see how the party fares.

Playing in the Realms since the Old Grey Box (1987)... and *still* having fun with material published before 2008, despite the NDA'd lore.

If it's comparable in power with non-magical abilities, it's not magic.

Edited by - Jakk on 18 Oct 2008 23:38:26

The Sage
Procrastinator Most High

Australia
31701 Posts

Posted - 19 Oct 2008 :  00:49:30  Show Profile Send The Sage a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Very nice Jakk!

Of course, my two favorite setting-parody songs remains the "Twelve Days of Zarovich" and the "Santa Claus is coming to New Avalon."

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Jakk
Great Reader

Canada
2165 Posts

Posted - 19 Oct 2008 :  10:04:14  Show Profile Send Jakk a Private Message  Reply with Quote
My DM and I had fun writing it. We've both played through the original Ravenloft as players in different groups, and it was long enough ago for me that I don't remember much now that he's DMing "Return to Castle Ravenloft" in our current campaign.

BTW: Did you know that "Ravenloft" anagrams to "Navelfort" and "Novelfart"? Neither did I until 30 seconds ago.

Playing in the Realms since the Old Grey Box (1987)... and *still* having fun with material published before 2008, despite the NDA'd lore.

If it's comparable in power with non-magical abilities, it's not magic.

Edited by - Jakk on 19 Oct 2008 10:06:31
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GRYPHON
Senior Scribe

USA
527 Posts

Posted - 19 Oct 2008 :  14:45:01  Show Profile Send GRYPHON a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Nice...
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