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 Edition Wars.... The Movie! Who playes You?

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T O P I C    R E V I E W
althen artren Posted - 14 Jan 2012 : 19:59:10
So lets write out the turmoil in Candlekeep in
script form.

The best fit for my big personality and size
would be John Goodman. He's have to
shave his head though.
30   L A T E S T    R E P L I E S    (Newest First)
Diffan Posted - 17 Mar 2012 : 03:07:23
I just don't know who'd play me. It's hard to find big actors (and by that, I don't mean exclusively obese ones) that have decent roles are all that popular.
Icelander Posted - 17 Mar 2012 : 01:29:24
As far as I know, at least, we have no way of knowing what another scribe looks like, unless he's posting under his real name and is 'famous on the Interwebz'.

I think we have to base it on dialogue alone. What do various scribes sound like, when we read them in our head?
Dennis Posted - 17 Mar 2012 : 01:09:45
quote:
Originally posted by Alystra Illianniis

Hmm, so whom do you folks suggest would play me?


Mila J.
Alystra Illianniis Posted - 15 Mar 2012 : 23:25:02
Hmm, so whom do you folks suggest would play me? I was kind of thinking Renee O'Conner (Gabrielle of Xena) since I am about the same size and we're both blonde. I like to think I'm as pretty as her, (at least that's what my hubby tells me!) and I'm fairly sure I could kick as much butt. (Well, maybe not, but I'm good enough with a staff for my hubby to always protect his we'ha!)
Lord Karsus Posted - 15 Mar 2012 : 22:22:14
-I don't think there are any actors out there who can truly capture my greatness.
Markustay Posted - 15 Mar 2012 : 14:31:35
quote:
Originally posted by Dennis

quote:
Originally posted by Markustay

Oh... wait... isn't that the Hunger Games?


I often wonder how that series became so popular. I couldn't even force myself to get past the second chapter...
My 14-year-old read it, and loved it, and now my 21-year old is reading it, and loving it (after giving me back Game of Thrones because "it was boring"). I have no interest in reading the novels (the premise reminds me too much of Lord of the Flies), and also no interest in ever seeing the movie.

Too bad you can't 'return' kids... I should have kept the receipt... {grumble grumble}

althen artren Posted - 14 Mar 2012 : 23:19:37
I think in some way we need red pills and blue pills. Maybe:
If you take the blue pill, the spellplague stil happened and
you go down the rabbit hole to find out why.
Dennis Posted - 14 Mar 2012 : 00:39:52
quote:
Originally posted by Markustay

Oh... wait... isn't that the Hunger Games?


I often wonder how that series became so popular. I couldn't even force myself to get past the second chapter...
Hawkins Posted - 13 Mar 2012 : 19:33:12
Hm, is it too late to have Jay Baruchel play as me? I think of myself (when I was at my worst) as lurking in the stacks in a cowled robe until I heard something that just really pissed me off, then going off on a long rant on that person.
Markustay Posted - 13 Mar 2012 : 18:20:05
quote:
Originally posted by althen artren

Ok folks, what's our script?
WotC has fallen, and the bare-bones beginnings of 5th edition lie sprawled out on the floor of their deserted compound (I'm thinking something like a cross between Resident Evil's 'The Hive', and the de-powered Jurrasic Park).

The scene opens with all of us appearing at their headquarters (maybe we organized a protest?), while others are agents of various governments and secret societies (Sage is definitely a cross-time Kang ). We've lost our recent memories, and don't know why the facility is trashed - all we know is that we all want to control the outcome of FR and D&D, so we must collect the pages, and take control of the situation ('every man for himself', or even small clusters of temporary alliances).

And for some strange reason, the entire place is filled with weapons (nerd-boys like to collect kewl 'collectibles', but in this case, all of those bizarre swords, rayguns, crossbows,etc... all work).

And then we fight to the death.

Oh... wait... isn't that the Hunger Games?

And maybe, at the end, we can have a twist - the 'winner' goes to the control room to turn the power back on, and something is there waiting for him...

The cake is a Lie....
Icelander Posted - 12 Mar 2012 : 18:15:56
I would have said John Goodman, but someone already claimed him. But that's just because my friends have recently learned that the appropriate response to a particularly obnoxious, but logically irrefutable argument on my behalf is: "No, Walther, you're not wrong. You're just an [censored]-hole."

In any event, it's no fun to cast oneself. That's an exercise in ego-onanism that ought to be kept private* for much the same reasons that self-stroking of a more physical sort ought to be. The real fun lies in scribes assigning an actor to read out the faceless, voiceless posts of other scribes, choosing an actor based on how they think such posts ought to sound.

I hereby invite interested scribes to speculate wildly on which actor* they could imagine speaking the substance of my posts.

Oh, and I don't really see any need to link this casting choice with Editions or hypothetical Wars between them. So if a moderator wants to rename the topic to something closer to 'Candlekeep Scribes Cast on the Basis of their Posting Voice', I'd be super-fine with it.

*At the very least, shared only with consenting adults of whatever species people like. I'm willing to assume that silence counts as consent for goats or whatever floats people's boats, because I'm not judging and the idea that it's okay to enslave beings and keep in painful confinement for the purposes of slaughtering them for food, but it's not okay for those who incline that way to make a little sweet loving to them, is one that I can't even begin to understand.
**Or, really, any other personage which I could be expected to recognise or be able to look up.
Dennis Posted - 22 Jan 2012 : 06:36:21
quote:
Originally posted by Jakk

quote:
Originally posted by Dennis

quote:
Originally posted by althen artren
Ok folks, what's our script?

A one-liner from each character. The rest are fight scenes.


Okay, so here's my line, lifted directly from Jack Bauer just because it works for our script:
quote:
You can look the other way once, and it's no big deal, except it makes it easier for you to compromise the next time, and pretty soon that's all you're doing; compromising, because that's the way you think things are done. You know those guys I busted? You think they were the bad guys? Because they weren't, they weren't bad guys, they were just like you and me. Except they compromised… once.




I like that. If memory serves, that's from season one. He said that to Nina.

As for me, I'd look for something appropriate in the Bourne series. Will update this post once I find one.

---

I haven't yet found anything appropriate from Jason Bourne himself. But here's something good from Conklin (in Bourne Supremacy, p. 466):

quote:

Conklin looked at the undersecretary of state, his expression without charity. "He doesn't need any explanations from me, he's an analyst. He sees it all as clearly as we do, if not clearer. He knows what the hell is going on down in the tunnels, he just doesn't want to admit it, and the easiest way to remove himself is to pretend to be shocked. Beware the sanctimonious intellect in any phase of this business. What he gives in brains he takes away with phoney recriminations. He's the deacon in a whorehouse gathering material for a sermon he'll write when he goes home and plays with himself."
althen artren Posted - 20 Jan 2012 : 02:00:21
I love it Wolfhound! I guess my main action
scene will be cover fire for the insert team
breaking into the insane Spellplague fan's base
getting the blueprints to help destroy it.
Jorkens Posted - 19 Jan 2012 : 17:04:34
quote:
Originally posted by Bakra

A muppet do to the fact I don't think there is a big enough jack-ass to play me.
Voiced by Adam West because why the heck not.



Hm, I was thinking about Boober Fraggle for myself, but as this is Edition Wars the movie, I thought it would be nice to have a chance to win.
Wolfhound75 Posted - 19 Jan 2012 : 15:00:35
Adult Content Warning

@Althen
How about going with Hudson's rant from Aliens?

[As he's shooting up the room with his M41A Pulse Rifle splattering Aliens left, right, and center]
Come on Mother F*****! You want some?!? F*** You! And you too! [Ad lib the rest]

Seems appropriate for the D&D version of a belt-fed weapon laying down a hail of supressive fire.


Good Hunting!
althen artren Posted - 19 Jan 2012 : 02:28:43
I haven't found my quote yet, but I'd be the guy laying
down supressing fire with a repeating crossbow.
Jakk Posted - 18 Jan 2012 : 22:47:19
quote:
Originally posted by Dennis

quote:
Originally posted by althen artren
Ok folks, what's our script?

A one-liner from each character. The rest are fight scenes.


Okay, so here's my line, lifted directly from Jack Bauer just because it works for our script:
quote:
You can look the other way once, and it's no big deal, except it makes it easier for you to compromise the next time, and pretty soon that's all you're doing; compromising, because that's the way you think things are done. You know those guys I busted? You think they were the bad guys? Because they weren't, they weren't bad guys, they were just like you and me. Except they compromised… once.

Thelonius Posted - 18 Jan 2012 : 21:33:25
quote:
Originally posted by Dennis

quote:
Originally posted by althen artren
Ok folks, what's our script?

A one-liner from each character. The rest are fight scenes.


Well I guess he found.... *puts sunglasses on* a non-Santa bearded fellow........ *walks away to the left of the screen*

Dark reference to Horatio + Elsminster....
Dennis Posted - 18 Jan 2012 : 21:15:56
quote:
Originally posted by althen artren
Ok folks, what's our script?

A one-liner from each character. The rest are fight scenes.
Wolfhound75 Posted - 18 Jan 2012 : 21:10:19
quote:
Originally posted by Therise

quote:
Originally posted by Wolfhound75

For myself, I'd have to go with, Myself.
I'm active enough that I believe I could even do most of my own stunt and fight sequences.
Though I definately would have to find more appropos character name. It just doesn't cut it for Epic FR saga.
But, if you force me to pick a professional actor, I would lean in favor of either Jason Statham (Transporter, Snatch) or Matt Damon (Bourne series, True Grit [2010]).


I suggest Nathan Fillion, star of Castle and formerly on Firefly as Captain Tightpants. He has the sexy.


I see you're a fellow Firefly/Serenity fan as well! Accordingly, and being a pilot, you can probably guess the below quote is my favorite exchange from the series.
quote:
My Favorite Firefly Quote
Hoban 'Wash' Washburn: This landing is gonna get pretty interesting.
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: Define "interesting".
Hoban 'Wash' Washburn: [deadpan] Oh God, oh God, we're all going to die?
Capt. Malcolm Reynolds: [on the ship's intercom] This is the captain. We have a little problem with our entry sequence, so we may experience some slight turbulence and then - explode.



That's a great suggestion! I love it and I'll go with it! The way he played Malcolm Reynolds is pretty much right on my sense of humor anyway. Though I'm likely a bit more skilled at hand-to-hand than Mal was. He did seem to get hit an awful lot. Captain Tight Pants notwithstanding. Then again, there is this....
quote:

[Mal refuses to kill the prone, humiliated Atherton.]
Sir Warrick: You have to finish it, lad. [Mal doesn't move] You have to finish it. For a man to lay beaten, yet breathing? It makes him a coward.
Inara: It's humiliation.
Mal: It would be humiliating, having to lie there while the better man refuses to spill your blood. Mercy is the mark of a great man.
[He lightly stabs Atherton.]
Mal: Guess I'm just a good man.
[He repeats the poking.]
Mal: Well, I'm all right.



Thanks for the suggestion!


Good Hunting!
althen artren Posted - 18 Jan 2012 : 19:39:05
Ok folks, what's our script?
Jakk Posted - 18 Jan 2012 : 19:24:26
quote:
Originally posted by Dennis

I'd like that as well. But I'm more in favor of Matt Damon playing Jason Bourne. An assassin's skills and chameleon-like abilities are pretty much useful.


I can't argue with that... I just see myself as more of the assassin-hunter than the assassin, but I guess that difference is simply a matter of perspective...
Dennis Posted - 18 Jan 2012 : 13:16:06
quote:
Originally posted by Jakk

Another possibility would be Keifer Sutherland... I'm thinking of Jack Bauer here - do whatever necessary to preserve what you believe in.


I'd like that as well. But I'm more in favor of Matt Damon playing Jason Bourne. An assassin's skills and chameleon-like abilities are pretty much useful.
Jakk Posted - 18 Jan 2012 : 09:39:55
Well, Kelsey Grammer has my hairline and eloquence, but nobody can handle my rants like Jack Nicholson from "A Few Good Men"... Jack would have to be somewhat younger, though.

Another possibility would be Keifer Sutherland... I'm thinking of Jack Bauer here - do whatever necessary to preserve what you believe in.
Knight of the Gate Posted - 17 Jan 2012 : 23:43:48
Nick Nolte; he looks nothing like me, but the curmudgeonly 'dadgummit' moment he's had in every movie for the last 20 years is perfectly in tune with my grumpiness at the outset of 4e.
Thelonius Posted - 17 Jan 2012 : 20:32:21
I'd go for a slightly younger Christopher Lee with that voice.... Still shivering with the "The eye of Sauron sees all" phrase.
Bakra Posted - 17 Jan 2012 : 20:22:38
A muppet do to the fact I don't think there is a big enough jack-ass to play me.
Voiced by Adam West because why the heck not.
Marquant Volker Posted - 17 Jan 2012 : 10:27:16
...BORAT ! (ok, im kidding)

5th edition...NICE!!!!
Therise Posted - 16 Jan 2012 : 04:10:47
quote:
Originally posted by Wolfhound75

For myself, I'd have to go with, Myself.

I'm active enough that I believe I could even do most of my own stunt and fight sequences.

Though I definately would have to find more appropos character name. It just doesn't cut it for Epic FR saga.

But, if you force me to pick a professional actor, I would lean in favor of either Jason Statham (Transporter, Snatch) or Matt Damon (Bourne series, True Grit [2010]).


I suggest Nathan Fillion, star of Castle and formerly on Firefly as Captain Tightpants. He has the sexy.

Wolfhound75 Posted - 16 Jan 2012 : 04:04:54
For myself, I'd have to go with, Myself.

I'm active enough that I believe I could even do most of my own stunt and fight sequences.

Though I definately would have to find more appropos character name. It just doesn't cut it for Epic FR saga.

But, if you force me to pick a professional actor, I would lean in favor of either Jason Statham (Transporter, Snatch) or Matt Damon (Bourne series, True Grit [2010]).


Good Hunting!

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