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Mystery_Man
Senior Scribe
USA
455 Posts |
 Posted - 17 Mar 2006 : 14:04:51
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One because I haven't posted anything in a while and two, I just realized you're a mod and must pick on you. 
* Wooly's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
* Wooly does not sleep. He waits.
* The chief export of Wooly is pain.
* If you can see Wooly, he can see you. If you can't see Wooly, you may be only seconds away from death.
* Wooly has counted to infinity. Twice.
* Wooly does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Wooly goes killing.
* Wooly's blood type is AK+. Ass-Kicking Positive. It is compatible only with heavy construction equipment, tanks, and fighter jets.
* Wooly once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
* The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Wooly out. It failed miserably.
* If you ask Wooly what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
* Wooly was the original sculptor of Mount Rushmore. He completed the entire project using only a bottle opener and a drywall trowel.
* Wooly doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer.
* What was going through the minds of all of Wooly's victims before they died? His shoe.
* Wooly is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
* Police label anyone attacking Wooly as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
* Wooly doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
* Wooly has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
* Someone once tried to tell Wooly that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. Historians have recorded this as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
* Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Wooly.
* When Wooly goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a handgun and a bucket.
* How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Wooly? ...All of it.
* Wooly doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
* If tapped, a Wooly roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
* Wooly can divide by zero.
* When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Wooly just to be on the safe side.
* Wooly originally wrote the first dictionary. The definition for each word is as follows - A swift roundhouse kick to the face.
* Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Wooly to go around.
* Wooly grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
* Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Wooly"
* Wooly doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
* There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Wooly lives in Oklahoma.
* Wooly once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
* Wooly played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
* Simply by pulling on both ends, Wooly can stretch diamonds back into coal.
* When Wooly does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
* Wooly roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
* Wooly does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
* Wooly can slam a revolving door.
* Wooly plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.
* Wooly is the only man who has, literally, beaten the odds. With his fists.
* Wooly likes his ice like he likes his skulls: crushed.
* Wooly doesn’t shave he just kicks himself.
* Wooly uses a night light. Not because Wooly is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Wooly.
* Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Wooly glare will liquefy your kidneys.
* Wooly once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
* Wooly's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
* Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and accidentally ran into Wooly while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.
* Wooly got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.
* Wooly doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
* Wooly’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.
* The square root of Wooly is pain. Do not try to square Wooly, the result is death.
* To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Wooly.
* Wooly has never been in a fight, ever. Do you call one roundhouse kick to the face a fight?
* Wooly eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.
* Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Wooly beats all 3 at the same time.
* Wooly's pulse is measured on the Richter scale.
* Wooly CAN in fact 'raise the roof. And he can do it with one hand.
* Wooly was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.
* Wooly drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.
* Every time someone uses the word "intense", Wooly always replies "you know what else is intense?" followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.
* As an infant, Wooly's parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.
* Most people fear the Reaper. Wooly considers him "a promising Rookie".
* There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Wooly.
* Wooly once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
* The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Wooly's initials. This is not a coincidence.
* There’s an order to the universe: space, time, Wooly.... Just kidding, Wooly is first.
* Wooly can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the light bulb turns on.
* Wooly has to register every part of his body as a separate lethal weapon. His spleen is considered a concealed weapon in 50 states.
* Wooly doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
* Wooly actually built the stairway to heaven
* Wooly doesn't have blood. He is filled with magma
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Edited by - Mystery_Man on 17 Mar 2006 14:09:17
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Kaladorm
Master of Realmslore
United Kingdom
1176 Posts |
Posted - 17 Mar 2006 : 14:27:54
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Wooly Rupert actually died two years ago. Death just hasn't had the guts to tell him.
Wooly can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass.....at night
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Kaladorm
Master of Realmslore
United Kingdom
1176 Posts |
Posted - 17 Mar 2006 : 14:28:56
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| There is no theory of evolution. Just those creatures Wooly allows to live |
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Jindael
Senior Scribe
USA
357 Posts |
Posted - 17 Mar 2006 : 14:34:01
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"* The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Wooly's initials. This is not a coincidence. "
Prolly want to delete that one. :p |
"You don't have a Soul. You are a Soul. You have a body."
-- C.S. Lewis |
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Wooly Rupert
Master of Mischief
USA
36779 Posts |
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The Sage
Procrastinator Most High
Australia
31701 Posts |
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WalkerNinja
Senior Scribe
USA
573 Posts |
Posted - 17 Mar 2006 : 21:46:45
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Allright... FR related...
-If you are inside a room with Drizzt Do'Urden there are 12,982 things that he can kill you with... including the room itself.
-One time Drizzt Do'Urden saved a puppy from being run over by a run-away cart. People started to think that he had gone soft. He then initiated the Dawn Cataclysm and made Lathander take the blame to prove them wrong.
-There are Five truly bad dudes in all of the multi-verse. Four of them send Drizzt Do'Urden presents on Shieldmeet.
-Drizzt Do'Urden taught Jesus Christ his plan for salvation and how to walk on water before flying off to Faerun.
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*** A Forgotten Realms Addict since 1990 ***
Treasures of the Past, a Second Edition Play-by-Post game for and by Candlekeep Sages--http://www.rpol.net/game.cgi?gi=52011 |
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Alaundo
Head Moderator
United Kingdom
5692 Posts |
Posted - 18 Mar 2006 : 16:46:53
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quote:
Originally posted by The Sage
Very amusing .
Remember however, that this is a Forgotten Realms discussion forum. And as funny as I do find this... it is *kind* of out of place here.
Well met
Indeed. Amusing as it is, let's try to keep to the Realms. Nice attempt, WalkerNinja  |
Alaundo
Candlekeep Forums Head Moderator
Candlekeep - The Library of Forgotten Realms Lore
http://www.candlekeep.com -- Candlekeep Forum Code of Conduct
An Introduction to Candlekeep - by Ed Greenwood
The Candlekeep Compendium - Tomes of Realmslore penned by Scribes of Candlekeep
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warlockco
Master of Realmslore
USA
1695 Posts |
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The Sage
Procrastinator Most High
Australia
31701 Posts |
Posted - 21 Mar 2006 : 03:17:57
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quote:
Originally posted by warlockco
quote:
Originally posted by Jindael
"* The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Wooly's initials. This is not a coincidence. "
Prolly want to delete that one. :p
Thought all those were familiar. Its the Chuck Norris thing.
What is this obsession with Chuck Norris that wargamers and RPGers seem to have?
Everyone knows Michael Hyung-Tsei is the greatest fighter ever in the history of fiction and actual reality   .
::waits for Wooly to pick up on that reference::
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Candlekeep Forums Moderator
Candlekeep - The Library of Forgotten Realms Lore
http://www.candlekeep.com -- Candlekeep Forum Code of Conduct
Scribe for the Candlekeep Compendium -- Volume IX now available (Oct 2007)
"So Saith Ed" -- the collected Candlekeep replies of Ed Greenwood
Zhoth'ilam Folio -- The Electronic Misadventures of a Rambling Sage |
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Gray Richardson
Master of Realmslore
USA
1291 Posts |
Posted - 21 Mar 2006 : 03:27:26
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The chemical formula for the highly stable compound Tungsten-Ruthenium is WRu. These are Wooly Rupert's initials. X-ray crystallographic spectroscopic studies of intertriad heterodimeric metalloporphyrins suggest that WRu bonds are 5-10% stronger than corresponding Molybedenum-Osmium species.
This is not a coincidence.  |
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Wooly Rupert
Master of Mischief
USA
36779 Posts |
Posted - 21 Mar 2006 : 04:03:48
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quote:
Originally posted by The Sage
What is this obsession with Chuck Norris that wargamers and RPGers seem to have?
Everyone knows Michael Hyung-Tsei is the greatest fighter ever in the history of fiction and actual reality .
::waits for Wooly to pick up on that reference::
Sorry, bud, but I'm not catching that one.  |
Candlekeep Forums Moderator
Candlekeep - The Library of Forgotten Realms Lore
http://www.candlekeep.com -- Candlekeep Forum Code of Conduct
I am the Giant Space Hamster of Ill Omen! |
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Mystery_Man
Senior Scribe
USA
455 Posts |
Posted - 23 Mar 2006 : 20:10:09
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quote:
Originally posted by warlockco
quote:
Originally posted by Jindael
"* The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Wooly's initials. This is not a coincidence. "
Prolly want to delete that one. :p
Thought all those were familiar. Its the Chuck Norris thing.
How do we know Wooly isn't Chuck Norris? Hm? |
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Wooly Rupert
Master of Mischief
USA
36779 Posts |
Posted - 23 Mar 2006 : 20:16:36
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quote:
Originally posted by Mystery_Man
How do we know Wooly isn't Chuck Norris? Hm?
I'm pretty certain I'm not... He's not as ruggedly handsome as I! |
Candlekeep Forums Moderator
Candlekeep - The Library of Forgotten Realms Lore
http://www.candlekeep.com -- Candlekeep Forum Code of Conduct
I am the Giant Space Hamster of Ill Omen! |
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Hoondatha
Great Reader
USA
2449 Posts |
Posted - 23 Mar 2006 : 21:16:17
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| Besides, everyone knows hampsters don't need martial arts to beat up evil-doers. |
Doggedly converting 3e back to what D&D should be...
Sigh... And now 4e as well. |
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Purple Dragon Knight
Master of Realmslore
Canada
1796 Posts |
Posted - 25 Mar 2006 : 06:53:24
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quote:
Originally posted by Hoondatha
Besides, everyone knows hampsters don't need martial arts to beat up evil-doers.
You got that right: crawling up one's pants has a way to dissuade fighting in the first place... |
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warlockco
Master of Realmslore
USA
1695 Posts |
Posted - 25 Mar 2006 : 12:46:04
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quote:
Originally posted by Purple Dragon Knight
quote:
Originally posted by Hoondatha
Besides, everyone knows hampsters don't need martial arts to beat up evil-doers.
You got that right: crawling up one's pants has a way to dissuade fighting in the first place...
So long as he doesn't do the Richard Gere and the Gerbil bit... |
News of the Weird
D20 System Reference Document
D20 Modern System Reference Document
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The Sage
Procrastinator Most High
Australia
31701 Posts |
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