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Magic Matt
Seeker

USA
70 Posts

Posted - 25 Mar 2004 :  18:29:43  Show Profile  Visit Magic Matt's Homepage Send Magic Matt a Private Message
Elaine Cunningham, is one very bright lady,(refrencing above post)
and her books are quite good too!



Elaine, some of the book titles sound alike, and I’m having some trouble keeping track of which ones are which (limited cranial capacity). (I understand that it’s the publishers that pick the titles, but Elf this, Shadow that, and in various combinations, I know I’ll wind up buying one of these books twice.)(Oh, now I see!)







"You had a choice between war and dishonor. You chose dishonor, and you will have war."
-Winston Churchill- (to Neville Chamberlain)

The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.
-William Shakespeare, "As You Like It", Act 5 scene 1

He who will not reason is a bigot. He who cannot is a fool. and he who dares not is a slave.
-Sir William Drummond-

Edited by - Magic Matt on 25 Mar 2004 22:22:42
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ElaineCunningham
Forgotten Realms Author

2004 Posts

Posted - 25 Mar 2004 :  22:57:20  Show Profile  Visit ElaineCunningham's Homepage Send ElaineCunningham a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by Magic Matt
Elaine, some of the book titles sound alike, and I’m having some trouble keeping track of which ones are which (limited cranial capacity). (I understand that it’s the publishers that pick the titles, but Elf this, Shadow that, and in various combinations, I know I’ll wind up buying one of these books twice.)(Oh, now I see!)


Yes, there is an "elf" and "shadow" theme going on in Songs & Swords. I can see how it might be confusing. If you seek clarity, there's a list of my published stuff on the Bookshelf page of my website, www.elainecunningham.com.

And yes, the publishers usually pick the titles. In my case, that's probably just as well. The working title for The Floodgate was "Watergate" for several weeks before I figured out why that just didn't sound right. Similarly, I wanted "Moonshadow" for my first book (Elfshadow). The way my editor tells it, for several days after I suggested that title, the TSR staff went around humming Cat Stevens songs and cursing my name. I've learned since then that, generally speaking, it's a good idea to avoid "moon" in a fantasy title: there are probably more moons in a row of fantasy novels than in a busload of drunken frat boys.


Edited by - ElaineCunningham on 26 Mar 2004 00:22:35
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Bruce Donohue
Learned Scribe

Canada
94 Posts

Posted - 26 Mar 2004 :  00:56:05  Show Profile  Visit Bruce Donohue's Homepage  Send Bruce Donohue a Yahoo! Message Send Bruce Donohue a Private Message
Given the opportunity, would you write more on Rameshan and its people?

If you got to write about any aread in Faerun that hasn't so far been covered where would it be?

When could we expect that Elaith's son's identity might slip out?
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Magic Matt
Seeker

USA
70 Posts

Posted - 26 Mar 2004 :  05:01:43  Show Profile  Visit Magic Matt's Homepage Send Magic Matt a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by ElaineCunningham

[quote]
Yes, there is an "elf" and "shadow" theme going on in Songs & Swords. I can see how it might be confusing. If you seek clarity, there's a list of my published stuff on the Bookshelf page of my website, www.elainecunningham.com.




Elaine, thanks for providing link to your Bookshelf page, it was helpful, and now I have more books to order from Amazon!

My problem with the tiles of the books, resulted when I was recommending one of your books to someone who wanted very specific info on Tethyr, but checked on Amazon before just to make sure it was the correct one, and of course I was wrong, discovered I was looking for “Silver Shadows” on the third try, and it having a different cover than my copy did not help maters [my copy is in my kids room, somewhere].

Oh, and I like the ‘new’ cover better on “Silver Shadows”, than the copy I have.


Thanks for your reply.
Magic Matt




"You had a choice between war and dishonor. You chose dishonor, and you will have war."
-Winston Churchill- (to Neville Chamberlain)

The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.
-William Shakespeare, "As You Like It", Act 5 scene 1

He who will not reason is a bigot. He who cannot is a fool. and he who dares not is a slave.
-Sir William Drummond-
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Wooly Rupert
Master of Mischief
Moderator

USA
26852 Posts

Posted - 26 Mar 2004 :  05:48:04  Show Profile Send Wooly Rupert a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by ElaineCunningham
there are probably more moons in a row of fantasy novels than in a busload of drunken frat boys.


That, Lady Cunningham, is one of the funniest analogies I've ever seen!

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Candlekeep - The Library of Forgotten Realms Lore
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I am the Giant Space Hamster of Ill Omen!
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ElaineCunningham
Forgotten Realms Author

2004 Posts

Posted - 26 Mar 2004 :  12:35:49  Show Profile  Visit ElaineCunningham's Homepage Send ElaineCunningham a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by Bruce Donohue

Given the opportunity, would you write more on Rameshan and its people?

If you got to write about any aread in Faerun that hasn't so far been covered where would it be?

When could we expect that Elaith's son's identity might slip out?



There are definitely stories to be told in Rashemen. If the tale of Liriel and her new-found elven sisterhood picks up, it would be set in that area. Sharlarra's people -- star elves -- are just emerging from the plane of existence to which they withdrew many years ago. Apparently there's some great evil or danger brewing there that's driving them back into the Prime Material Plane. (This info is based upon the new elven race detailed in the recent game product -- brain blip on the title -- that focuses on this region.)

I think that Silverymoon would be a great setting for a novel, particularly one that features bards. The recent political unheavals and the re-establishment of the barding college would create endless plot possibilities, and the setting itself would be interesting to explore.

Alas, I wouldn't "expect" Elaith to find out about his son any time soon. The folks at WotC have been more interested recently in new characters than in revisiting established characters -- with notable exceptions, such as Drizzt and Elminster. But I keep nagging remain optimistic, and perhaps future stories might eventually trend in that direction.
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The Sage
Procrastinator Most High
Moderator

Australia
31414 Posts

Posted - 26 Mar 2004 :  13:40:38  Show Profile  Send The Sage an AOL message  Click to see The Sage's MSN Messenger address  Send The Sage a Yahoo! Message Send The Sage a Private Message
Ms. Cunningham...

I am in the rather delicate process of fleshing out a unique Elven dwelling on the Isle of Evermeet. Now traditionally, as we all know, Elves spend a great deal of time developing not only their living areas, but the surrounding gardens as well...I offer your depiction of the 'bellflower' alarm-garden, for an example of the elves dedication to elaborate designs.

The creation of the garden surrounding the dwelling is the stage of the design process that I am now at. Looking back through some of your novels, I've picked up several references to objects that elves use to decorate these areas. However one item has left me curious...the marble pedestals with the transparent water-filled globes. These items were mentioned in the opening chapter of Elfshadow, and IIRC, they depicted illusionary images lifted from Elven folklore. Now, what I want to know is, what more can you tell me about these magical displays (if there is anything more you can say about them)?.

I understand if you have nothing more to share with us on this, however I was just curious, and thought it would be an interesting question to ask...

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ElaineCunningham
Forgotten Realms Author

2004 Posts

Posted - 26 Mar 2004 :  14:35:42  Show Profile  Visit ElaineCunningham's Homepage Send ElaineCunningham a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by The Sage

Ms. Cunningham...
The creation of the garden surrounding the dwelling is the stage of the design process that I am now at. Looking back through some of your novels, I've picked up several references to objects that elves use to decorate these areas. However one item has left me curious...the marble pedestals with the transparent water-filled globes. These items were mentioned in the opening chapter of Elfshadow, and IIRC, they depicted illusionary images lifted from Elven folklore. Now, what I want to know is, what more can you tell me about these magical displays (if there is anything more you can say about them)?


One of them, the elven armada landfall, is described in the novel Evermeet. The other two -- birth of the sea elves and the Green Island dragonswar -- have not, to the best of my knowledge, been told in FR lore.

I have often thought that a collection of folk tales about gods and heros -- old stories beloved by elves, halflings, dwarves, and so on -- would be a great addition to Realmslore. Realms of Folklore, or some such. I can see, however, how such a project might be problematic; some gamers would puzzle endlessly over whether or not a tale about a dwarven god was "factual" or even "canon." Some gamers can be more literal-minded than fundamentalists. You would not believe some of the questions that arose from the elven mythology section of Evermeet. "Hey! Elves and orcs sprung up from the blood shed during the battle of Grummsh and Corellon, but you say there were elves BEFORE this battle!" Another favorite: "Did one elf/orc come into being per each drop of divine blood spilled, or was it some other ratio?"

Kermit the Frog: "It's a myth, I tell you! Myth! Myth!"
Lisping waitress: "Yeth?"


::Ahem::

All things considered, it seems unlikely to me that elven folklore will become part of the official lore. On a related issue, I find to my regret that the focus of my Realms tales has been increasingly shifting away from elves; in fact, the folks at WotC specifically requested that my Counselors & Kings trilogy should avoid them. (I did, however, manage to sneak in an elven villain...)


Edited by - ElaineCunningham on 26 Mar 2004 14:40:46
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The Sage
Procrastinator Most High
Moderator

Australia
31414 Posts

Posted - 26 Mar 2004 :  14:55:18  Show Profile  Send The Sage an AOL message  Click to see The Sage's MSN Messenger address  Send The Sage a Yahoo! Message Send The Sage a Private Message
WotC specifically requested that you should avoid using elves in some of your works...

I must say, that I am rather disappointed to hear this... I can only imagine how you must have felt upon being told about this effort to 'shift away from elves'.

Did WotC at least provide you with a justified reason for this request...?

Candlekeep Forums Moderator

Candlekeep - The Library of Forgotten Realms Lore
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-- Candlekeep Forum Code of Conduct

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ElaineCunningham
Forgotten Realms Author

2004 Posts

Posted - 26 Mar 2004 :  16:59:19  Show Profile  Visit ElaineCunningham's Homepage Send ElaineCunningham a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by The Sage
Did WotC at least provide you with a justified reason for this request...?


No reason, but I assumed at the time that this request was based on the desired setting. The folks at WotC wanted a trilogy set in Halruaa, and since there are very few elves in the area, a story about humans would be more representative of the culture.

Alas, I doubt I'll be returning to FR elves any time soon, since there are elf-related projects by other writers currently in the pipeline. With this in mind, I'm found other outlets for my elfin inclinations. I won't go into these here, but I'll post details on my website when I update in April.

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Bookwyrm
Great Reader

USA
4740 Posts

Posted - 26 Mar 2004 :  17:53:24  Show Profile  Visit Bookwyrm's Homepage  Click to see Bookwyrm's MSN Messenger address Send Bookwyrm a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by ElaineCunningham

I've learned since then that, generally speaking, it's a good idea to avoid "moon" in a fantasy title: there are probably more moons in a row of fantasy novels than in a busload of drunken frat boys.



Mental image! Gyaah!

Hell hath no fury like all of Candlekeep rising in defense of one of its own.

Download the brickfilm masterpiece by Leftfield Studios! See this page for more.
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Bookwyrm
Great Reader

USA
4740 Posts

Posted - 26 Mar 2004 :  18:00:54  Show Profile  Visit Bookwyrm's Homepage  Click to see Bookwyrm's MSN Messenger address Send Bookwyrm a Private Message
Fundamentalist-ish thinkers aside (who needs 'em? oh, right, WotC does), a Realms of History anthology sounds like a great idea to me.

As for that hint about future works, I'll have to remember to check your website in a few weeks.

Hell hath no fury like all of Candlekeep rising in defense of one of its own.

Download the brickfilm masterpiece by Leftfield Studios! See this page for more.
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lowtech
Learned Scribe

USA
315 Posts

Posted - 26 Mar 2004 :  18:09:06  Show Profile  Visit lowtech's Homepage Send lowtech a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by ElaineCunningham
I wanted "Moonshadow" for my first book (Elfshadow).



I think that's the name of an Elfquest character...or was that Moonshade?
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Bookwyrm
Great Reader

USA
4740 Posts

Posted - 26 Mar 2004 :  18:26:48  Show Profile  Visit Bookwyrm's Homepage  Click to see Bookwyrm's MSN Messenger address Send Bookwyrm a Private Message
I don't know about that, but I now have the song in my head, just like those old TSR folks. It's not the first time, either: the same thing happened when I read Christopher Stacheff's The Witch Doctor.

Hell hath no fury like all of Candlekeep rising in defense of one of its own.

Download the brickfilm masterpiece by Leftfield Studios! See this page for more.
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Kameron M. Franklin
Forgotten Realms Author

USA
228 Posts

Posted - 26 Mar 2004 :  18:49:24  Show Profile  Visit Kameron M. Franklin's Homepage
Ew-ee-ew-ah-ah, ting, tang, walla-walla, bing, bang!

Gah! *waggles a finger at Bookwyrm*

(I apologize for any mangling of lyrics, just how I remember them from childhood. )

"You keep saying that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." --Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

Edited by - Kameron M. Franklin on 26 Mar 2004 18:56:48
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Steven Schend
Forgotten Realms Designer & Author

USA
1578 Posts

Posted - 27 Mar 2004 :  23:58:01  Show Profile  Visit Steven Schend's Homepage  Send Steven Schend a Yahoo! Message Send Steven Schend a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by Bookwyrm

Fundamentalist-ish thinkers aside (who needs 'em? oh, right, WotC does), a Realms of History anthology sounds like a great idea to me.

As for that hint about future works, I'll have to remember to check your website in a few weeks.



Gods, I know I HAVE to cut back on the caffeine.....

Just read this and my muse, sick one that she is, cued my brain into trying to untangle the lyrics for "They Call That Monk Alaundo..." Sigh.....Rogers & Hammerstein on the brain now, and that's rarely good for getting much done....

Steven
Who loved asking Bob Salvatore if he knew the words to "I Am the Very Model of a Drow of Menzoberranzan"....and watching his newly developed facial tic just from contemplating such an idea....

For current projects and general natter, see www.steveneschend.com
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ElaineCunningham
Forgotten Realms Author

2004 Posts

Posted - 28 Mar 2004 :  02:32:07  Show Profile  Visit ElaineCunningham's Homepage Send ElaineCunningham a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by Steven Schend
..."I Am the Very Model of a Drow of Menzoberranzan"....


Do such lyrics exist, or were you just yanking Bob's chain?

BTW, did you ever see the Xeno filk, "I Am the Very Model of the Heroine Barbarian?" VERY clever. And, amazingly enough, most of it actually scanned.
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Steven Schend
Forgotten Realms Designer & Author

USA
1578 Posts

Posted - 28 Mar 2004 :  02:41:19  Show Profile  Visit Steven Schend's Homepage  Send Steven Schend a Yahoo! Message Send Steven Schend a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by ElaineCunningham

quote:
Originally posted by Steven Schend
..."I Am the Very Model of a Drow of Menzoberranzan"....


Do such lyrics exist, or were you just yanking Bob's chain?

BTW, did you ever see the Xeno filk, "I Am the Very Model of the Heroine Barbarian?" VERY clever. And, amazingly enough, most of it actually scanned.



No such lyrics exist, so far as I know. It was just one of those things that pops into my head and if I don't let it out, it just pees on the mental furniture in frustration.

And no, I've not seen the Xena filk; my patience for filking is regrettably short, I'm afraid, though I like the idea of it all.

Steven
Who now has Paul McCartney singing "Leprosy...all my skin is falling off of me...I'm only half the man I used to be...." in his head....

For current projects and general natter, see www.steveneschend.com
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Bruce Donohue
Learned Scribe

Canada
94 Posts

Posted - 28 Mar 2004 :  06:26:54  Show Profile  Visit Bruce Donohue's Homepage  Send Bruce Donohue a Yahoo! Message Send Bruce Donohue a Private Message
Steven I am rolling on the floor laughing, one I seen the episode that Elaine mentioned and two glad to see that I am not the only one highly influenced by the wonderful Muse called caffeine. Mmm a muscial fan that brings humour in a Realmsian context, that is funny. I can just imagine some of those lyrics about a Drow in Menzo. OK, damn it is stuck in my head, and now must try to stop laughing before I get a hernia.
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ElaineCunningham
Forgotten Realms Author

2004 Posts

Posted - 28 Mar 2004 :  13:31:09  Show Profile  Visit ElaineCunningham's Homepage Send ElaineCunningham a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by Steven Schend
No such lyrics exist, so far as I know. It was just one of those things that pops into my head and if I don't let it out, it just pees on the mental furniture in frustration.

Damn! NOW you've done it. . . the idea for "I Am the Very Model of a Drow of Menzoberranzan" is going to stick in my mind and do the tomcat leg-lift on MY mental furniture until I've written the thing. ::Adds this task to the summer writing schedule::

(BTW, Bruce, I don't think we're talking about the same thing; at least, I'm not aware of an episode of Xena that incorporates the following verse. The humor herein is geared to the reader, not the TV viewer.)

quote:
And no, I've not seen the Xena filk; my patience for filking is regrettably short, I'm afraid, though I like the idea of it all.

For Steven, then, here is the Xena filk, and may the lines highlighted in blue stick in your mind and cause you to laugh at inopportune moments.

Heroine Barbarian by Kevin Wald

[We join our operetta already in progress. The infamous Pirates of Pergamum
have just seized a bevy of beautiful Mytilenean maidens, and are attempting
to carry them off for matrimonial purposes. Gabrielle intervenes, with a
recitative (well, it's better than a pan flute solo):]

Gabrielle: Hold, scoundrels! Ere ye practice acts of villainy
Upon the peaceful and agrarian,
Just bear in mind, these maidens of My-TIL-ene[1]
Are guarded by a buff barbarian!

Pirates: We'd better all rethink our cunning plan;
They're guarded by a buff barbarian.

Maidens: Yes, yes, she is a buff barbarian.

[Xena leaps in from the wings, with a tremendous war cry, does a mid-air
somersault, and lands on her feet on the Pirate King's chest.]

Xena: Yes, yes, I am a buff barbarian! [The orchestra starts up.]

I am the very model of a heroine barbarian;
Through Herculean efforts, I've become humanitarian.
I ride throughout the hinterland -- at least that's what they call it in
Those sissy towns like Athens (I, myself, am Amphipolitan).
I travel with a poet who is perky and parthenian[2]
And scribbles her hexameters in Linear Mycenian[3]
(And many have attempted, by a host of methods mystical,
To tell if our relationship's sororal or sapphistical).

Chorus: To tell if their relationship's sororal or sapphistical!
To tell if their relationship's sororal or sapphistical!
To tell if their relationship's sororal or sapphisti-phistical!

Xena: My armory is brazen, but my weapons are ironical;
My sword is rather phallic, but my chakram's rather yonical[4]
(To find out what that means, you'll have to study Indo-Aryan[5]).
I am the very model of a heroine barbarian!

Chorus: To find out what that means, we'll have to study Indo-Aryan --
She is the very model of a heroine barbarian!

Xena: I wake up every morning, ere the dawn is rhododactylous[6]
(Who needs to wait for daylight? I just work by _sensus tactilis_[7].)
And ride into the sunrise to protect some local villagers
From mythologic monsters or from all-too-human pillagers.
I hurtle towards each villain with a recklessness ebullient
And cow him with my swordwork and my alalaes ululient;
He's frightened for his head, because he knows I'm gonna whack it -- he's
Aware that his opponent is the _Basileia Makhetes_!

[The music crashes to a halt, as the Chorus stares at Xena in utter
confusion. She sighs.] It's *Greek*. It means "Warrior Princess"!
[Light dawns on the Chorus, and the music resumes.] Sheesh . . .

Chorus: He knows that his opponent is the _Basileia Makhetes_!
He knows that his opponent is the _Basileia Makhetes_!
He knows that his opponent is the _Basileia Makhe-makhetes_,

Xena: Because I've got my armor, which is really rather silly, on
(It's cut so low I feel like I'm the topless tow'rs of Ilion,
And isn't any use against attackers sagittarian[9]).
I am the very model of a heroine barbarian!

Chorus: It isn't any use against attackers sagittarian --
She is the very model of a heroine barbarian!

Xena: In short, when I can tell you how I break the laws of gravity,
And why my togs expose my intermammary concavity,
And why my comrade changed her dress from one that fit more comfily
To one that shows her omphalos[10] (as cute as that of Omphale[11]),
And why the tale of Spartacus appears in Homer's versicon[12],
[She holds up a tomato:]
And where we found examples of the genus _Lycopersicon_[13],
And why this Grecian scenery looks more like the Antipodes,
You'll say I'm twice the heroine of any in Euripides!

Chorus: We'll say she's twice the heroine of any in Euripides!
We'll say she's twice the heroine of any in Euripides!
We'll say she's twice the heroine of any in Euripi-ripides!

Xena: But though the kinked chronology, confusing and chimerical
(It's often unhistorical, but rarely unhysterical),
Would give a massive heart attack to any antiquarian,
I am the very model of a heroine barbarian!

Chorus: 'Twould give a massive heart attack to any antiquarian --
She is the very model of a heroine barbarian!

[As the orchestra plays the final chords, a wild Xenaesque melee ensues,
and the curtain has to be brought down.]

Notes:

[1] Actually, "Mytilene" would properly be accented on the third syllable;
Gabrielle always did have trouble with rhymes. (Mytilene, incidentally,
is a city on the isle of Lesbos -- the hometown of the poet Sappho, as
a matter of fact. It is not clear what, if anything, Gilbert is trying
to imply here.)

[2] parthenian: virginal.

[3] Linear Mycenian: Mycenian is the ancient dialect of Greek which was
written in Linear B (a form of Greek writing that predates the adoption
of the alphabet). The implication is that Gabrielle does her writing
in Linear B; if _Xena_ takes place around the time of the Trojan war,
this is chronologically reasonable.

[4] yonical: "Yonic" is the female counterpart to "phallic".

[5] Indo-Aryan: The language group consisting of Sanskrit and its close
relatives. Both "chakram" and "yonic" are of Sanskrit derivation.

[6] rhododactylous: rosy-fingered. (Homer makes frequent reference to
_rhododaktulos eos_ -- "rosy-fingered dawn".)

[7] _sensus tactilis_: Latin for "the sense of touch".

"Alalaes" are war-cries (the Greeks spelled a Xena-like war cry as
_alala_ or _alale_) and "ululient" is a coined term, apparently
meaning "characterized by ululation".

[9] sagittarian: archer-like.

[10] omphalos: belly-button.

[11] Omphale: Legendary queen of Lydia. From context, we must assume
that she had a cute belly-button; however, no known classical source
seems to address this vital issue.

[12] versicon: a coined term, apparently meaning "collection of verse".

[13] _Lycopersicon_: the biological genus to which tomatoes are assigned.
(The tomato is a New World plant, and was entirely unknown in the
Old World in pre-Columbian times. Thus, having tomatoes in a _Xena_ish
context is an even greater anachronism than having Homer tell the tale
of Spartacus.)


Edited by - ElaineCunningham on 28 Mar 2004 13:42:20
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ElaineCunningham
Forgotten Realms Author

2004 Posts

Posted - 29 Mar 2004 :  14:55:22  Show Profile  Visit ElaineCunningham's Homepage Send ElaineCunningham a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by Steven Schend
Just read this and my muse, sick one that she is, cued my brain into trying to untangle the lyrics for "They Call That Monk Alaundo..." Sigh.....Rogers & Hammerstein on the brain now, and that's rarely good for getting much done....


I'm about to do a Very Evil Thing and put yet another insidious tune in your head.

::Two aged monks, wistfully viewing a shelf of lore forgotten by younger monks and left to molder...::

Do you see the dust, Alaundo?
I remember long ago the treasured volumes on this shelf.
In the candlelight, Alaundo,
You were thumbing crumbling pages, reading softly to yourself.
I could hear the ancient tales
And sounds of distant song, like memories of an elf...

There was beauty that could make you weep
In Candlekeep, Alaundo.
It was shining there for you and me
Eternally, Alaundo.
Though I never thought the past could fade
In dust and damp,
If we have to write it all again
We will, my friend, Alaundo. . .


Edited by - ElaineCunningham on 29 Mar 2004 15:16:38
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Wooly Rupert
Master of Mischief
Moderator

USA
26852 Posts

Posted - 29 Mar 2004 :  17:11:37  Show Profile Send Wooly Rupert a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by ElaineCunningham

I'm about to do a Very Evil Thing and put yet another insidious tune in your head.


Lady Cunningham, I just wanna say that I admire that kind of evil in a person.

Candlekeep Forums Moderator

Candlekeep - The Library of Forgotten Realms Lore
http://www.candlekeep.com
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I am the Giant Space Hamster of Ill Omen!

Edited by - Wooly Rupert on 29 Mar 2004 17:12:34
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Bookwyrm
Great Reader

USA
4740 Posts

Posted - 29 Mar 2004 :  18:04:26  Show Profile  Visit Bookwyrm's Homepage  Click to see Bookwyrm's MSN Messenger address Send Bookwyrm a Private Message
Dah-dahdahdah, dah-dahdahdah, dah-dahdahdahdahdahdahdahdah . . . .

Mind if I step in with another filk? This one's not going to be recognized by most of you, but I think it's funny.




"I Am the Bleekin' Model of a Treecat Telempathical"
("I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General") -- Pirates of Penzance
Jonathan Cresswell

I am the bleekin' model of a treecat telempathical,
I groom myself and never need to suffer splash embathical,
I'm named as was the carrier for Nimitz, famous ad-mir-al,
But never carry passengers; my flea-spray gives 'em sad morale.
I bonded with the Commodore long years ago when we were young,
I've been with her through triumph great and heard the mourning songs she's sung,
We've marched with folk who've been through wars that match the scars of Punic's hell...
(swell? Krell? hm....ah!)
And particularly note the ones who wear those bright red tunics well!

(Particularly note the ones who wear those bright red tunics well!
Particularly note the ones who wear those bright red tunics well!
Particularly note the ones who wear those bright red tunics, who nix well!)

I act as her creative and emotional barometer
And show her state of mind when I'm within a rough kilometer;
In short in matters empathetic, mental but non-mathical,
I am the bleekin' model of a treecat telempathical!

I sleep a lot, but often have the power of a Mallory;
I don't get paid but you could say I really earn my celery.
I follow Honor minds a-linked and loyally devotional,
(She handles all the tactics stuff, and I do things emotional.)
I keep her on an even keel no matter what her attitude,
I kick her when she's listless and I tell her she's a brat o' 'tude,
I steady her when mood swings are a-clawing at her self-esteem...
(team? dream? hm....ah, i have it!)
I only need to nip her and AHA! she has a wealth o' steam!

(He only needs to nip her and AHA! she has a wealth o' steam!
He only needs to nip her and AHA! she has a wealth o' steam!
He only needs to nip her and AHA! she has a wealth o' healthy steam!)

I study her subordinates and help her all their habits peg
And do it with my eyes shut, chewing on a well-cooked rabbit's leg;
In short, in matters empathetic, mental but non-mathical,
I am the bleekin' model of a treecat telempathical!

I've been with her since kittenhood and know her mind in every bit
(You might just say that Honor Harrington has built me from a kit.)
I know when she is intimate but I think that is all for schnooks,
It's only bombs and lasers with X-ray-ted roles in these here books!
If anyone should threaten her and make a fuss with fists or jaws,
I put a contract out upon them...sharpened with a lot of clause;
When danger nears I sense it, and make certain that ne'er it catch her...
(burr?...fur? AHA!)
And now I find I have the knack to mentally caricature!

(And now he finds he has the knack to mentally caricature!
And now he finds he has the knack to mentally caricature!
And now he finds he has the knack to mentally carica-trickature!)

Our names are famous for our feats and no one dares accost hers now;
She's got a treecat name that sounds a bit like Kevin Costner's now;
In short, in matters empathetic, mental but non-mathical,
I am the bleekin' model of a treecat telempathical!

Hell hath no fury like all of Candlekeep rising in defense of one of its own.

Download the brickfilm masterpiece by Leftfield Studios! See this page for more.
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Bruce Donohue
Learned Scribe

Canada
94 Posts

Posted - 30 Mar 2004 :  00:31:14  Show Profile  Visit Bruce Donohue's Homepage  Send Bruce Donohue a Yahoo! Message Send Bruce Donohue a Private Message
quote:
I'm about to do a Very Evil Thing and put yet another insidious tune in your head.

::Two aged monks, wistfully viewing a shelf of lore forgotten by younger monks and left to molder...::

Do you see the dust, Alaundo?
I remember long ago the treasured volumes on this shelf.
In the candlelight, Alaundo,
You were thumbing crumbling pages, reading softly to yourself.
I could hear the ancient tales
And sounds of distant song, like memories of an elf...

There was beauty that could make you weep
In Candlekeep, Alaundo.
It was shining there for you and me
Eternally, Alaundo.
Though I never thought the past could fade
In dust and damp,
If we have to write it all again
We will, my friend, Alaundo. . .




Mmm Elaine me thinks that I am not the only that has listened to Abba at one time or another. Heehee
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ElaineCunningham
Forgotten Realms Author

2004 Posts

Posted - 30 Mar 2004 :  00:41:15  Show Profile  Visit ElaineCunningham's Homepage Send ElaineCunningham a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by Bruce Donohue
[quote]I am not the only that has listened to Abba at one time or another. Heehee



I do not LISTEN to Abba. I have been EXPOSED to it, which is the fate common to those who occasionally ride the elevator...

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