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Steven Schend
Forgotten Realms Designer & Author
USA
1707 Posts |
 Posted - 06 Jun 2012 : 02:19:53
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quote:
Originally posted by Erik Scott de Bie
And now for something completely different . . .
In honor of a discussion I had recently, I'm doing what I promised/threatened to do, which is this:
Halfling + Human romance. Icky?
Discuss!
Cheers
How'd I miss this thread for so long?
And without the time to read all the entries, I wondered if anyone remembered that I had the first halfling Lord of Waterdeep with a human wife long ago back in 1993/1994 with the CITY OF SPLENDORS boxed set?
And now to attend to the little halfli-er, baby girl protesting in my arms right now. Think she needs a bottle soon....
Steven |
For current projects and general natter, see www.steveneschend.com
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Erik Scott de Bie
Forgotten Realms Author
USA
4598 Posts |
Posted - 06 Jun 2012 : 03:09:44
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I remember that, Steven!
Also, hail and well met! 
Cheers |
Erik Scott de Bie
'Tis easier to destroy than to create.
Author of a number of Realms novels (GHOSTWALKER, DEPTHS OF MADNESS, and the SHADOWBANE series), contributor to the NEVERWINTER CAMPAIGN GUIDE and SHADOWFELL: GLOOMWROUGHT AND BEYOND, Twitch DM of the Dungeon Scrawlers, currently playing "The Westgate Irregulars" |
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Wooly Rupert
Master of Mischief
USA
36779 Posts |
Posted - 06 Jun 2012 : 04:11:38
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quote:
Originally posted by Steven Schend
quote:
Originally posted by Erik Scott de Bie
And now for something completely different . . .
In honor of a discussion I had recently, I'm doing what I promised/threatened to do, which is this:
Halfling + Human romance. Icky?
Discuss!
Cheers
How'd I miss this thread for so long?
And without the time to read all the entries, I wondered if anyone remembered that I had the first halfling Lord of Waterdeep with a human wife long ago back in 1993/1994 with the CITY OF SPLENDORS boxed set?
And now to attend to the little halfli-er, baby girl protesting in my arms right now. Think she needs a bottle soon....
Steven
I readily recall the late Nindil Jalbuck, but I'd forgotten about his human wife...  |
Candlekeep Forums Moderator
Candlekeep - The Library of Forgotten Realms Lore
http://www.candlekeep.com -- Candlekeep Forum Code of Conduct
I am the Giant Space Hamster of Ill Omen!  |
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The Sage
Procrastinator Most High
Australia
31701 Posts |
Posted - 06 Jun 2012 : 06:15:22
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I killed off Jalbuck about 20 years ago, in favour of another Lord I'd created.
Not sure what happened to his wife in my campaign. I think I left that plothook dangling for future use... Hmmm. |
Candlekeep Forums Moderator
Candlekeep - The Library of Forgotten Realms Lore
http://www.candlekeep.com -- Candlekeep Forum Code of Conduct
Scribe for the Candlekeep Compendium -- Volume IX now available (Oct 2007)
"So Saith Ed" -- the collected Candlekeep replies of Ed Greenwood
Zhoth'ilam Folio -- The Electronic Misadventures of a Rambling Sage |
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Dalor Darden
Great Reader
USA
4211 Posts |
Posted - 06 Jun 2012 : 06:48:59
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quote:
Originally posted by The Sage
I killed off Jalbuck about 20 years ago, in favour of another Lord I'd created.
Not sure what happened to his wife in my campaign. I think I left that plothook dangling for future use... Hmmm.
You only THOUGHT you killed him off...he really just retired to a nice cozy estate in The Five Shires...
(blatant plug...) |
The Old Grey Box and AD&D for me! |
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Sightless
Senior Scribe
USA
608 Posts |
Posted - 06 Jun 2012 : 14:23:06
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And no for a fact from science. The size of the mother's womb, is the biggest determining factor on the size of the baby(e.g Goldmore and Groom, 2005; Kent, et, al. 2004). So the birthing process would be no more painful than if she was trying to give birth to any other baby born by any other male. If she has a tight pelvis, then it will be particularly painful, if not, then it wont. The infant would quickly perhaps even before puberty grow beyond that of of a typical halfling, but that this won't impact the birthing process.
The same holds when dwarves in our own society have offspring to average sized, or even tall mates. Thus valadating those of the opinion expressed earlier of this occurence. And I wonder if anybody reading the Hobbit ever thought Tolkien was refering to this with Bilbo's uncle, who was five feet tall. That's pretty tall for a halfling. hmmmm.
And while I know of no birthing of this, or like this in the relms, Allen Kurts "Saga of Ice" does deal with several cross-breading births. Halfling-human, human-troll (think more of the Earthdawn, or Shadowrun style), and human-dragon. I feel that the detail of the birthing process, the man did work in the medical profession and delivered a few babies, was very accurate from a factual slid into a fantasy relm. Of course the books were considered a bit scandless back in the nineteenth century, but you ever get a chance to read any of them, I think you'll enjoy it. |
We choose to live a lie, when we see with, & not through the eye.
Every decision, no matter the evidence, is a leap of faith; if it were not, then it wouldn't be a choice at all. |
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Wooly Rupert
Master of Mischief
USA
36779 Posts |
Posted - 06 Jun 2012 : 15:05:50
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quote:
Originally posted by Dalor Darden
quote:
Originally posted by The Sage
I killed off Jalbuck about 20 years ago, in favour of another Lord I'd created.
Not sure what happened to his wife in my campaign. I think I left that plothook dangling for future use... Hmmm.
You only THOUGHT you killed him off...he really just retired to a nice cozy estate in The Five Shires...
(blatant plug...)
Actually, in canon, the real Nindil Jalbuck was killed and replaced by a greater doppelganger -- which means the Unseen have successfully infiltrated the Lords of Waterdeep.
Of course, one of my Lords of Waterdeep articles had the Unseen themselves getting infiltrated (by the mentor of a guy who became a Lord), which meant that at least some of the Lords knew about that Unseen infiltration, and Khelben was being very careful about what "Nindil" was and was not allowed to find out...  |
Candlekeep Forums Moderator
Candlekeep - The Library of Forgotten Realms Lore
http://www.candlekeep.com -- Candlekeep Forum Code of Conduct
I am the Giant Space Hamster of Ill Omen! |
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Sightless
Senior Scribe
USA
608 Posts |
Posted - 06 Jun 2012 : 15:16:10
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quote:
Originally posted by Wooly Rupert
quote:
Originally posted by Dalor Darden
quote:
Originally posted by The Sage
I killed off Jalbuck about 20 years ago, in favour of another Lord I'd created.
Not sure what happened to his wife in my campaign. I think I left that plothook dangling for future use... Hmmm.
You only THOUGHT you killed him off...he really just retired to a nice cozy estate in The Five Shires...
(blatant plug...)
Actually, in canon, the real Nindil Jalbuck was killed and replaced by a greater doppelganger -- which means the Unseen have successfully infiltrated the Lords of Waterdeep.
Of course, one of my Lords of Waterdeep articles had the Unseen themselves getting infiltrated (by the mentor of a guy who became a Lord), which meant that at least some of the Lords knew about that Unseen infiltration, and Khelben was being very careful about what "Nindil" was and was not allowed to find out...
Infernal affairs... in the relms... how interesting. |
We choose to live a lie, when we see with, & not through the eye.
Every decision, no matter the evidence, is a leap of faith; if it were not, then it wouldn't be a choice at all. |
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The Sage
Procrastinator Most High
Australia
31701 Posts |
Posted - 06 Jun 2012 : 16:23:54
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quote:
Originally posted by Wooly Rupert
quote:
Originally posted by Dalor Darden
quote:
Originally posted by The Sage
I killed off Jalbuck about 20 years ago, in favour of another Lord I'd created.
Not sure what happened to his wife in my campaign. I think I left that plothook dangling for future use... Hmmm.
You only THOUGHT you killed him off...he really just retired to a nice cozy estate in The Five Shires...
(blatant plug...)
Actually, in canon, the real Nindil Jalbuck was killed and replaced by a greater doppelganger -- which means the Unseen have successfully infiltrated the Lords of Waterdeep.
Of course, one of my Lords of Waterdeep articles had the Unseen themselves getting infiltrated (by the mentor of a guy who became a Lord), which meant that at least some of the Lords knew about that Unseen infiltration, and Khelben was being very careful about what "Nindil" was and was not allowed to find out...
Hmmm. Maybe that's what I was thinking of then.
I don't remember doing anything with the doppelganger Jalbuck, though. Heh. |
Candlekeep Forums Moderator
Candlekeep - The Library of Forgotten Realms Lore
http://www.candlekeep.com -- Candlekeep Forum Code of Conduct
Scribe for the Candlekeep Compendium -- Volume IX now available (Oct 2007)
"So Saith Ed" -- the collected Candlekeep replies of Ed Greenwood
Zhoth'ilam Folio -- The Electronic Misadventures of a Rambling Sage |
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combatmedic
Senior Scribe
USA
428 Posts |
Posted - 16 Aug 2012 : 07:23:30
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I can't see that it's any weirder than a human and elf match.
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YMMV= Your Mileage May Vary. I'm putting it here so I don't have to type it in every other post. :) |
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Alystra Illianniis
Great Reader
USA
3750 Posts |
Posted - 16 Aug 2012 : 23:08:44
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quote:
Originally posted by Markustay
So in a fantasy setting, when a farmer lets some passers-through sleep in his barn, its not his daughters he necessarily has to worry about?
"Hey you! don't you be eyeing up ol' Bessy, ya hear? Dang minotaurs...."
And oddly enough, this reminds me of a scene in a book written by a friend of mine (Her first published novel: "Of Gods and Goats"- look for it in e-book form, or order from "From My Shelf Books"!! It's a hilarious and wonderful read, guys!) where the *ahem* gay minotaur falls in love with the main character's pet steer. Yes, you read that correctly- a minotaur making moon-eyes over a "fixed" male bovine.... Apparently, he did not care that the object of his affection was neutered. |
The Goddess is alive, and magic is afoot.
"Where Science ends, Magic begins" -Spiral, Uncanny X-Men #491
"You idiots! You've captured their STUNT doubles!" -Spaceballs
Lothir's character background/stats: http://forum.candlekeep.com/pop_profile.asp?mode=display&id=5469
My stories:
http://z3.invisionfree.com/Mickeys_Comic_Tavern/index.php?showforum=188
Lothir, courtesy of Sylinde (Deviant Art)/Luaxena (Chosen of Eilistraee)
http://sylinde.deviantart.com/#/d2z6e4u |
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BEAST
Master of Realmslore
USA
1714 Posts |
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Alystra Illianniis
Great Reader
USA
3750 Posts |
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Erik Scott de Bie
Forgotten Realms Author
USA
4598 Posts |
Posted - 21 Aug 2012 : 15:55:35
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Wow, not only is my thread still alive, it's just gotten weirder than ever.
[sniff]
I'm so proud!
Cheers |
Erik Scott de Bie
'Tis easier to destroy than to create.
Author of a number of Realms novels (GHOSTWALKER, DEPTHS OF MADNESS, and the SHADOWBANE series), contributor to the NEVERWINTER CAMPAIGN GUIDE and SHADOWFELL: GLOOMWROUGHT AND BEYOND, Twitch DM of the Dungeon Scrawlers, currently playing "The Westgate Irregulars" |
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Tamsar
Learned Scribe
United Kingdom
141 Posts |
Posted - 21 Aug 2012 : 21:48:09
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quote:
Originally posted by Erik Scott de Bie
("roll to see if I'm getting drunk!" or "if there are chicks there, I wanna DO THEM!").
Erik,
You receive an Ogre slaying Knife, with a +9 against Ogres for the Dead Alewives quote. Still funny to this day. |
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light |
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Alystra Illianniis
Great Reader
USA
3750 Posts |
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Xnella Moonblade-Thann
Learned Scribe
USA
234 Posts |
Posted - 22 Aug 2012 : 01:56:27
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I posted a little of this in the age thread that has a poll, but here's a (probably) weird one for you guys: Halfling x Dragonborn.
See, I have a female halfling who has a male dragonborn as an adventuring buddy in one of the campaigns I play in (I play the halfling while a friend of mine plays the dragonborn), and the halfling has a thing for the dragonborn. It all started when he picked up my poor halfling to throw at a dragon as a weapon (which worked out really weird when the rolls involved indicated that the dragon died from a massive critcal hit!)...and it just snowballed from there. The dragonborn is somewhat oblivious to the feelings of the halfling, thinking she sees him as a really good friend, but he gets jealous when every male, no matter the race, hits on her. Lots of fun roleplaying there, and surprisingly our DM approves of the weird plot-twist-hook. |
"Sweet water and light laughter until next we meet." - traditional elven farewell
Please forgive any spelling and grammer errors, as my android touch-screen phone has no spellchecker. If I do make a grammer mistake, please let me know and I'll try to fix it.
New laptop, still trying to sort my "scrolls" on its shelves...and when will this cursed thing stop doing things I tell it not to? |
Edited by - Xnella Moonblade-Thann on 22 Aug 2012 01:57:24 |
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combatmedic
Senior Scribe
USA
428 Posts |
Posted - 22 Aug 2012 : 07:33:08
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Okay, that one is weird.
:)
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YMMV= Your Mileage May Vary. I'm putting it here so I don't have to type it in every other post. :) |
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Markustay
Realms Explorer extraordinaire
USA
15724 Posts |
Posted - 22 Aug 2012 : 18:27:12
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You know whats really icky?
Titan/pixie love affairs. |
"I have never in my life learned anything from any man who agreed with me" --- Dudley Field Malone
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BEAST
Master of Realmslore
USA
1714 Posts |
Posted - 22 Aug 2012 : 22:03:25
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quote:
Originally posted by Markustay
You know whats really icky?
Titan/pixie love affairs.
"It sounds messy." --Drizzt Do'Urden (Homeland, Part 2: Chapter 6)
*Splat* 
 |
"'You don't know my history,' he said dryly."
--Drizzt Do'Urden (The Pirate King, Part 1: Chapter 2)
<"Comprehensive Chronology of R.A. Salvatore Forgotten Realms Works"> |
Edited by - BEAST on 22 Aug 2012 22:51:19 |
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Alystra Illianniis
Great Reader
USA
3750 Posts |
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Markustay
Realms Explorer extraordinaire
USA
15724 Posts |
Posted - 22 Aug 2012 : 23:23:55
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"Spank me with your tail... yeaaaah... who's a bad Drow? Who's a bad Drow? I am!!!"
I'm sorry, I couldn't get that picture out of my head. |
"I have never in my life learned anything from any man who agreed with me" --- Dudley Field Malone
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Edited by - Markustay on 22 Aug 2012 23:24:27 |
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Alystra Illianniis
Great Reader
USA
3750 Posts |
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Xnella Moonblade-Thann
Learned Scribe
USA
234 Posts |
Posted - 01 Sep 2012 : 10:17:29
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quote:
Originally posted by Alystra Illianniis
I've mentioned it before, I think, but what about a drow and half-dragon(elf) affair? If nothing else, the kids would be rather magically inclined, I'd think.
quote:
Originally posted by Markustay
"Spank me with your tail... yeaaaah... who's a bad Drow? Who's a bad Drow? I am!!!"
I'm sorry, I couldn't get that picture out of my head.
 
Just about sprayed Sprite/Coke all over my laptop yet again while at McHalaster's. |
"Sweet water and light laughter until next we meet." - traditional elven farewell
Please forgive any spelling and grammer errors, as my android touch-screen phone has no spellchecker. If I do make a grammer mistake, please let me know and I'll try to fix it.
New laptop, still trying to sort my "scrolls" on its shelves...and when will this cursed thing stop doing things I tell it not to? |
Edited by - Xnella Moonblade-Thann on 01 Sep 2012 10:17:58 |
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The Red Walker
Great Reader
USA
3563 Posts |
Posted - 01 Sep 2012 : 14:57:18
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quote:
Originally posted by Xnella Moonblade-Thann
I posted a little of this in the age thread that has a poll, but here's a (probably) weird one for you guys: Halfling x Dragonborn.
See, I have a female halfling who has a male dragonborn as an adventuring buddy in one of the campaigns I play in (I play the halfling while a friend of mine plays the dragonborn), and the halfling has a thing for the dragonborn. It all started when he picked up my poor halfling to throw at a dragon as a weapon (which worked out really weird when the rolls involved indicated that the dragon died from a massive critcal hit!)...and it just snowballed from there. The dragonborn is somewhat oblivious to the feelings of the halfling, thinking she sees him as a really good friend, but he gets jealous when every male, no matter the race, hits on her. Lots of fun roleplaying there, and surprisingly our DM approves of the weird plot-twist-hook.
I think you two ...err your. Haracters should just go out already |
A little nonsense now and then, relished by the wisest men - Willy Wonka
"We need men who can dream of things that never were." -
John F. Kennedy, speech in Dublin, Ireland, June 28, 1963
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thenightgaunt
Acolyte
USA
41 Posts |
Posted - 19 Sep 2013 : 19:47:10
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I apologize if this is reviving a dead thread, but I've had this exact issue come up in a game last year.
The campaign took place north of the High Moor in Secomber and involved a Chronomancer trying to change history by abusing alternate timelines to move mass laterally rather than up or down the timeline. In short, a third Troll War was going to hit Waterdeep from the High Moor and he wanted to stop it by turning Secomber into a 500 year old fortified city.
Anyway at one point the PCs were saving a community of halflings from death back in 1041DR to transplant as a starting population. They saved the day, made many a friend and at the celebration the head of the halfling militia decided to drunkenly flirt with the PC female human Paladin. The player called my bluff and since she hadn't taken any vows of chastity and respected the NPC as a warrior, one thing led to another. I used the "cross-species fertility tables" from the old "Book of Unlawful Carnal Knowledge" and had her roll randomly 2 sessions later. She rolled an 01% on the conception table and an 02% on the "# of offspring" table. So the paladin became the proud mother of twin halfling/human boys and the NPC learned that it's a VERY BAD idea to cheat on your wife with a one night stand with a Paladin and to not inform the Paladin that you're married beforehand.
The crossbreading issue wasn't treated as a strange thing and given that they later moved Dwarves into Secomber as well, the end result after 700 years was a community that was rather tolerant of cross-humanoid relationships and offspring. Even if the average ceiling height in the city was around 5ft. |
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Drustan Dwnhaedan
Learned Scribe
USA
324 Posts |
Posted - 22 Sep 2013 : 08:11:12
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When I first found this thread, I thought I would be forced to re-live the 'Halfling Incident', a particularly pathetic point in my character's love life, one which the rest of my gaming group will never let me live down. Then I saw this particular post:
quote:
Originally posted by Markustay
"Spank me with your tail... yeaaaah... who's a bad Drow? Who's a bad Drow? I am!!!"
I'm sorry, I couldn't get that picture out of my head.
This actually happened with my half-dragon (human) character, only he didn't use his tail (he didn't have one); he used an elven sword he had been given that's name roughly translated into Common as 'Chastisement'. The sword had some sort of spell on it that allowed it to 'redeem' evil elves, but nobody in the party could remember how to activate it. Our bard had a rather, ah, inappropriate idea on how the sword was supposed to be used, and me, being the lecher that I am, went along with it. Unfortunately, the drow my character chose as a, uh, test subject, turned out to be a Loviatarran from Dambrath, who enjoyed the situation just a little too much. (The sword, which was sentient, was not amused.) The drow eventually took to stalking my character, alongside the female halfling. (The only reason I put up with this *bleep* was because it kept the rest of the party entertained. Really, that's the only reason.) |
Edited by - Drustan Dwnhaedan on 22 Sep 2013 08:17:21 |
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Erik Scott de Bie
Forgotten Realms Author
USA
4598 Posts |
Posted - 22 Sep 2013 : 18:03:28
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Those are great stories. 
Also OMG it's back.
Cheers |
Erik Scott de Bie
'Tis easier to destroy than to create.
Author of a number of Realms novels (GHOSTWALKER, DEPTHS OF MADNESS, and the SHADOWBANE series), contributor to the NEVERWINTER CAMPAIGN GUIDE and SHADOWFELL: GLOOMWROUGHT AND BEYOND, Twitch DM of the Dungeon Scrawlers, currently playing "The Westgate Irregulars" |
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Drustan Dwnhaedan
Learned Scribe
USA
324 Posts |
Posted - 30 Sep 2013 : 08:02:06
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Got distracted with my last post and forgot to give my opinion on the topic (sorry). So long as both individuals involved are both consenting adults, I don't really have a problem with it. Although I will admit, I find the idea of a halfling x human relationship a little strange. Not icky, per se, just strange. 'So how could the 'Halfling Incident' mentioned earlier have happened?', you ask? Easy; I didn't get a say in the matter. My DM decided the event occurred while my character was completely plastered (basically, my DM was hoping it would cure my character of what he considered to be 'excessive behavior', and he succeeded... to a degree), and he only learned what happened a day or two afterwards (from a priestess of Sehanine Moonbow, who was also somehow involved in the incident).
Now, if you want a really icky relationship, even when both individuals consent to do 'it'*, how about a human x drider relationship? (My DM threatened to do this to my character when he continued with his 'excessive' habits, but my DM never made good on this threat. I think.)
*Note my clever use of the word 'it' as euphemism for... well, 'it'. (I would usually be a bit more descriptive, but I'm told this is a family-friendly site. Besides, everybody knows what I'm talking about, right? ) |
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Duneth Despana
Learned Scribe
Belgium
273 Posts |
Posted - 18 Jun 2015 : 15:44:22
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quote:
Originally posted by Ozzalum
May I bring some math into this subject? Thanks...
So I am the father of a 3ft tall human female. She is slim for her age, weighing in at 32 lbs or so. I think she has the potential to be quite tall, so for simplicity's sake, let's say she will top out at 6ft. If she kept her current appearance and were simply scaled up by a factor of 2, her weight would scale with the cube. So she would weigh 32x2^3 or 256lbs. That's certainly within the realm of possibility but I (and medical science) would no longer consider her slim.
Alternatively, if you took a tall woman with an adventurer's build, say 6ft, 160lbs (again for simplicity's sake) and scaled her down to 3ft, she'd weigh 20lbs. That's really really little.
Obviously something's up. I think I can say, (with mathematical certainty!) there is a difference between a 4yr old and miniature 25 yr old. A fact for which I am quite grateful as the father of a 4 yr old.
My advice to WotC if they are thinking of introducing the potential for a human male, halfling female romance would be to feature said female halfling on the cover, and make it extremely obvious she is actually a small curvy woman. And then have the couple find a mage to do some transmuting, because no matter how in love they are, she probably weighs less than 20lbs, and that's just silly.
And just to be extra safe, I'd skip Halflings and go straight to pixies, because I think that crosses the line to truly absurd and thus non threatening. Though of course Rule whatever still applies, I'm sure.
As for the non physical aspects, Halflings are much more accessible to humans than any of the other races. They hang out together, share culture, live similar lifespans. I could see a lasting relationship forming easily. As a comparison, humans and elves are radically different. Human/elf relationships are all about guys wanting a girl who is forever young and writers not thinking too realistically about the elf. That's why there aren't any major "romanceable" races with shorter lifespans than humans, because it would get people really thinking. "I love her, she's great, but she'll be dead before my kids are out of grade school. Oh gods, it's worse than that, our kids will only live to be 35!"
The only race I can think of like that are Centaurs, and I left my standard issue 10 ft pole at home. So I'm not touching that.
There's already been a sprite+human couple in Secomber that gave name to the Singing Sprite. |
« There is no overriding « epic » in the Realms, but rather a large number of stories, adventures, and encounters going on all the time. [...]. Each creative mind adds to the base, creating, defining, and making their contribution to the rich diversity of the Realms. [...]. But Ed built the stage upon which all the plays are presented. Thanks Ed. » -FR Comic no.1
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Halfling x Human Romance: Icky? Discuss!
