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Ayrik
Great Reader

Canada
6623 Posts

Posted - 11 Mar 2011 :  22:13:06  Show Profile Send Ayrik a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Crossbread is a delicious fruitcake sort of thing that seems to mysteriously appear around Easter. Klingon cross bread might be something very different.

[/Ayrik]
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Markustay
Realms Explorer extraordinaire

USA
15675 Posts

Posted - 11 Mar 2011 :  22:39:49  Show Profile Send Markustay a Private Message  Reply with Quote
No wonder it didn't trip-up the spell-checker.

But upon reading that, I contemplated a Klingon cross-dresser, and then mentally pictured Worf in drag.

Definitely NOT a pretty sight.

"I have never in my life learned anything from any man who agreed with me" --- Dudley Field Malone

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Portella
Learned Scribe

United Kingdom
239 Posts

Posted - 11 Mar 2011 :  22:43:22  Show Profile  Visit Portella's Homepage Send Portella a Private Message  Reply with Quote
damn ... now i have bad images on my head

Purple you say?!

Twitter ramblings...
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Erik Scott de Bie
Forgotten Realms Author

USA
4586 Posts

Posted - 12 Mar 2011 :  06:39:20  Show Profile  Visit Erik Scott de Bie's Homepage  Send Erik Scott de Bie an AOL message Send Erik Scott de Bie a Private Message  Reply with Quote
This thread is still around? Nice!

In one of my games, there is a sexy shadar-kai pirate queen who has a physical relationship with her repulsive hobgoblin first mate. The other characters think it's a little disturbing, but it scratches a particular itch.

Looks aren't everything. In many cases, they aren't ANYTHING.

Cheers

Erik Scott de Bie

'Tis easier to destroy than to create.

Signature of Shameless Self-Promotion +6: Order my sixth novel, Shadow of the Winter King (Amazon, e-signing, Dragonmoon Press)

Also check out my Realms work, most recently Shadowbane: Eye of Justice, out now on e-readers everywhere! (Kindle, Nook)
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Alystra Illianniis
Great Reader

USA
3747 Posts

Posted - 13 Mar 2011 :  03:54:42  Show Profile  Click to see Alystra Illianniis's MSN Messenger address Send Alystra Illianniis a Private Message  Reply with Quote
That would be my thoughts, Erik. If orcs float your boat, why NOT?! Not sure about goblins or hobgoblins, or anything with more limbs than me, but..... Hmmm, wonder if driders ever fall in love? I just had a mental image of a pair building a literal love-nest for two....

The Goddess is alive, and magic is afoot.

"Where Science ends, Magic begins" -Spiral, Uncanny X-Men #491

"You idiots! You've captured their STUNT doubles!" -Spaceballs

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Fellfire
Master of Realmslore

1950 Posts

Posted - 13 Mar 2011 :  04:01:50  Show Profile Send Fellfire a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I would "Captain Kirk" a Twi'lek. If that makes me a deviant or a degenerate, so be it.

Misanthorpe

Love is a lie. Only hate endures. Light is blinding. Only in darkness do we see clearly.

"Oh, you think darkness is your ally? You merely adopted the dark. I was born in it, molded by it. I didn't see the light until I was already a man, by then it was nothing to me but.. blinding. The shadows betray you because they belong to me." - Bane The Dark Knight Rises

Green Dragonscale Dice Bag by Crystalsidyll - check it out


Edited by - Fellfire on 13 Mar 2011 04:09:31
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Alystra Illianniis
Great Reader

USA
3747 Posts

Posted - 13 Mar 2011 :  04:08:34  Show Profile  Click to see Alystra Illianniis's MSN Messenger address Send Alystra Illianniis a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Well, of course you would. Have you SEEN those Twi'lek dancers??!! And the head-tails..... Nuff' said.

The Goddess is alive, and magic is afoot.

"Where Science ends, Magic begins" -Spiral, Uncanny X-Men #491

"You idiots! You've captured their STUNT doubles!" -Spaceballs

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BEAST
Master of Realmslore

USA
1714 Posts

Posted - 13 Mar 2011 :  07:50:32  Show Profile  Visit BEAST's Homepage Send BEAST a Private Message  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Alystra Illianniis

Even a Klingon could be considered attractive in a very primal sense, or, I suppose,certain orcs.

B'etor's photon torpedoes come to mind...

"'You don't know my history,' he said dryly."
--Drizzt Do'Urden (The Pirate King, Part 1: Chapter 2)

<"Comprehensive Chronology of R.A. Salvatore Forgotten Realms Works">
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Alystra Illianniis
Great Reader

USA
3747 Posts

Posted - 13 Mar 2011 :  08:00:20  Show Profile  Click to see Alystra Illianniis's MSN Messenger address Send Alystra Illianniis a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Heh?! What's that got to do with finding Klingons attractive?

The Goddess is alive, and magic is afoot.

"Where Science ends, Magic begins" -Spiral, Uncanny X-Men #491

"You idiots! You've captured their STUNT doubles!" -Spaceballs

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BEAST
Master of Realmslore

USA
1714 Posts

Posted - 13 Mar 2011 :  08:54:24  Show Profile  Visit BEAST's Homepage Send BEAST a Private Message  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Alystra Illianniis

Heh?! What's that got to do with finding Klingons attractive?


B'etor was a female Klingon.

And her "photon torpedoes" were on prominent display for males of all species to admire.

"'You don't know my history,' he said dryly."
--Drizzt Do'Urden (The Pirate King, Part 1: Chapter 2)

<"Comprehensive Chronology of R.A. Salvatore Forgotten Realms Works">
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Ayrik
Great Reader

Canada
6623 Posts

Posted - 13 Mar 2011 :  09:12:34  Show Profile Send Ayrik a Private Message  Reply with Quote
No matter how impressive the photon torpedoes there's just no overlooking those nasty bad teeth.

[/Ayrik]
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The Sage
Procrastinator Most High
Moderator

Australia
31691 Posts

Posted - 13 Mar 2011 :  10:10:39  Show Profile  Send The Sage an AOL message  Click to see The Sage's MSN Messenger address  Send The Sage a Yahoo! Message Send The Sage a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Or the fact that she was a member of the House of Duras.

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"So Saith Ed" -- the collected Candlekeep replies of Ed Greenwood

Zhoth'ilam Folio -- The Electronic Misadventures of a Rambling Sage

Edited by - The Sage on 13 Mar 2011 10:11:54
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Alystra Illianniis
Great Reader

USA
3747 Posts

Posted - 14 Mar 2011 :  02:36:05  Show Profile  Click to see Alystra Illianniis's MSN Messenger address Send Alystra Illianniis a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Ah, BEAST, you mean B'elanna Torres. B'etor is a planet on DS9. And B'elanna was only half Klingon herself, thus proving that her human father, at least, thought Klingon women were attractive.

What's wrong with house Duras? And I've only seen a couple of Klingon chicks with scary teeth. B'elanna's mother didn't look half bad in the one episode she was seen. Pretty, even.

The Goddess is alive, and magic is afoot.

"Where Science ends, Magic begins" -Spiral, Uncanny X-Men #491

"You idiots! You've captured their STUNT doubles!" -Spaceballs

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BEAST
Master of Realmslore

USA
1714 Posts

Posted - 16 Mar 2011 :  02:41:59  Show Profile  Visit BEAST's Homepage Send BEAST a Private Message  Reply with Quote
No, I meant <B'etor Duras>, younger sister of <Lursa>. They both tried to make themselves look attractive in a primal sense to males of other species--and probably to take attention off of their hideous teeth!

"'You don't know my history,' he said dryly."
--Drizzt Do'Urden (The Pirate King, Part 1: Chapter 2)

<"Comprehensive Chronology of R.A. Salvatore Forgotten Realms Works">
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Ayrik
Great Reader

Canada
6623 Posts

Posted - 16 Mar 2011 :  02:48:07  Show Profile Send Ayrik a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Once you've gotten enough practice arming photon torpedoes and studying their specifications you aren't as easily impressed by the weaponry of those klingon ladies. Their hideous lack of oral hygiene is just too repellant. Doesn't matter if they're halfling klingons or not.

[/Ayrik]

Edited by - Ayrik on 16 Mar 2011 02:49:32
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Alystra Illianniis
Great Reader

USA
3747 Posts

Posted - 19 Mar 2011 :  03:15:25  Show Profile  Click to see Alystra Illianniis's MSN Messenger address Send Alystra Illianniis a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Not all the Klingon women are like that, though. B'lanna's mother had perfectly decent hygiene. And their teeth are pointed, but not really "bad", to tell the truth. Worf's were just fine. His son Alexander's were, too. Even Alex's moeehr's were pretty normal.

The Goddess is alive, and magic is afoot.

"Where Science ends, Magic begins" -Spiral, Uncanny X-Men #491

"You idiots! You've captured their STUNT doubles!" -Spaceballs

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Ayrik
Great Reader

Canada
6623 Posts

Posted - 19 Mar 2011 :  03:24:40  Show Profile Send Ayrik a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Beauty is not only in the eye of the beholder, but also in the eye of the artist. Males and females of all species are well aware of the best methods to present themselves to potential partners in the most flattering manner. The strategy of these klingon gals obviously involved emphasizing their remarkable photon torpedoes to draw attention away from their less attractive attributes. Few of us (and few klingons) are perfect, so successful seduction often involves a little carefully applied illusion. No doubt halflings manage to somehow present themselves the way (they think) potential partners prefer to see them, even if they perceive the desired partner is attracted to qualities which make them appear childlike and helpless.

[/Ayrik]

Edited by - Ayrik on 19 Mar 2011 03:32:42
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Alystra Illianniis
Great Reader

USA
3747 Posts

Posted - 19 Mar 2011 :  03:50:57  Show Profile  Click to see Alystra Illianniis's MSN Messenger address Send Alystra Illianniis a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Too true. I've even used my own torpedoes on occasion to attract attention. It worked- maybe TOO well..... Caused the fellow in question to loose a chess match. But then, I WAS wearing a very short, tight top with a zipper down the front, and the torpedoes were right at his eye-level, and about six inches away from his face while I sat on the arm of the chair to watch the match, lol!!! (I was not intentionally trying to make him loose, but the thought of being that much a distraction was sort of flattering!) Usually, I prefer a guy to be more interested in what's in my cranium than in my torpedo bay, however.

The Goddess is alive, and magic is afoot.

"Where Science ends, Magic begins" -Spiral, Uncanny X-Men #491

"You idiots! You've captured their STUNT doubles!" -Spaceballs

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Ayrik
Great Reader

Canada
6623 Posts

Posted - 19 Mar 2011 :  04:24:41  Show Profile Send Ayrik a Private Message  Reply with Quote
quote:
Alystra Illianniis

Usually, I prefer a guy to be more interested in what's in my cranium than in my torpedo bay, however.
You could always date an illithid ...

[/Ayrik]
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Alystra Illianniis
Great Reader

USA
3747 Posts

Posted - 19 Mar 2011 :  04:35:59  Show Profile  Click to see Alystra Illianniis's MSN Messenger address Send Alystra Illianniis a Private Message  Reply with Quote
No thanks. I've already got a rabid Duck. Better than a Monte Python bunny, in some respects..... (For the benefit of the posters here, I'll now willingly admit that I married a Duck. No, really. It's his last name.... His middle initial is an "A", lol!!!)

The Goddess is alive, and magic is afoot.

"Where Science ends, Magic begins" -Spiral, Uncanny X-Men #491

"You idiots! You've captured their STUNT doubles!" -Spaceballs

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Wooly Rupert
Master of Mischief
Moderator

USA
31298 Posts

Posted - 19 Mar 2011 :  15:33:14  Show Profile Send Wooly Rupert a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I've personally been pondering the sexuality of a PC turned NPC of mine... He's a minotaur, and he certainly likes female minotaurs. I'm just trying to decide if he's into non-minotaurs or not...

Would a minotaur, raised in a land of minotaurs (he's not from the Realms, but later wound up there), find a human or elf woman physically attractive? They don't have furry bodies, and their heads look almost entirely different... It's not like with humans/halflings/elves or whatnot, when the basic design is the same...

What do y'all think?

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The Sage
Procrastinator Most High
Moderator

Australia
31691 Posts

Posted - 19 Mar 2011 :  15:42:18  Show Profile  Send The Sage an AOL message  Click to see The Sage's MSN Messenger address  Send The Sage a Yahoo! Message Send The Sage a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Well, some of the DRAGONLANCE minotaurs found the human cleric, Mina, to be quite attractive. Granted, they were part of her army, and her martial standing probably contributed to that sense of attractiveness among the minotaurs [an important point to consider, I suppose], but there was some degree of physical attraction as well.

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Candlekeep - The Library of Forgotten Realms Lore
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-- Candlekeep Forum Code of Conduct

Scribe for the Candlekeep Compendium -- Volume IX now available (Oct 2007)

"So Saith Ed" -- the collected Candlekeep replies of Ed Greenwood

Zhoth'ilam Folio -- The Electronic Misadventures of a Rambling Sage
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Markustay
Realms Explorer extraordinaire

USA
15675 Posts

Posted - 19 Mar 2011 :  17:21:58  Show Profile Send Markustay a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I don't care how hot her body is, I ain't going near Blibdoolpoolp!

If something's head is very different then the norm (for your race), I just don't see it. A minotaur might find a rubenesque woman's body intriguing, but how he could get past the face (because humans would appear ugly to him) is beyond me.

Then again, one could always blow the candle out.

Regardless, Blibdoolpoolp is still out of the question! I've already been circumcised, thank you very much.

"I have never in my life learned anything from any man who agreed with me" --- Dudley Field Malone


Edited by - Markustay on 19 Mar 2011 17:22:35
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Alystra Illianniis
Great Reader

USA
3747 Posts

Posted - 20 Mar 2011 :  02:23:46  Show Profile  Click to see Alystra Illianniis's MSN Messenger address Send Alystra Illianniis a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I'm inclined to agree. interspecies relationships should stop with those with distinctly animalistic heads. Torsos might be alright, at least in the case of mer-people, but I'm not sure how that would work physically. Fish don't breed the same way humans do.....

The Goddess is alive, and magic is afoot.

"Where Science ends, Magic begins" -Spiral, Uncanny X-Men #491

"You idiots! You've captured their STUNT doubles!" -Spaceballs

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Ayrik
Great Reader

Canada
6623 Posts

Posted - 20 Mar 2011 :  02:29:34  Show Profile Send Ayrik a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Anything's possible in a world which allows half-dragons.

[/Ayrik]
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