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Cbad285
Learned Scribe

160 Posts

Posted - 24 May 2013 :  08:09:36  Show Profile Send Cbad285 a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Not my death but one of my players. My friend Brian was playing an archer who loved Greek fire. (yes, back to this again). The party was attacking the flaming tower north of the dales. Well, while the elves and their band of warriors were inside fighting goblins, brian's human decided to stand outside and fire on the giants who were watching the attack from the roof. I explained several times that his arrows were falling short of hitting the giants with the vials of greek fire attached to the heads, but he insisted that he keep trying.
Eventually (After about five rounds) the giants came up with a plan. They decided to take their boulders, take a round to measure their drops, and simply drop as many boulders on the archer as they could. Brian failed his dex checks and was subsequently crushed under four boulders. We've yet to let him live this down.

"Beware the Dream Fever!"
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hashimashadoo
Master of Realmslore

United Kingdom
1150 Posts

Posted - 12 Jun 2013 :  15:59:41  Show Profile  Visit hashimashadoo's Homepage Send hashimashadoo a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I was putting my friends through the Legacy of the Green Regent campaign. I believe it was during the Rats Bastard module that the party had found themselves underneath Loudwater by a volcanic hot spring. A couple of steam mephits were harassing the party, flinging insults at them and such. Now I'd mentioned with GREAT gravity that the steam, heat and sulphur smell in this cave was coming from the water, but one of the players decided to chase the mephits whose voices were coming from over the water. His character jumped as high and as far as he could (a considerable distance, even at only level 5) to close the gap between him and the nearest mephit.

10d4 fire damage later and the party had lost its rogue.

Currently I'm waiting patiently for my latest character to die a horrible death. My DM is a sadist - throwing strong undead and an adult green dragon at level 3 PCs because we took some unbalancing magic items from a dwarven tomb (mine were soon stolen by a weird Pelor cult) and having our Lawful Good characters commit evil acts because because some kind of hag demigod would cause a TPK if we didn't. He also made the leader of the only safe haven in the region order our deaths because we found evidence of his corruption and gave me a cursed magic item that causes obsession with it and kills a nearby allied NPC every time I rest (thankfully that was also taken by the Pelor cult). Our last battle was with a swarm of flying monsters who exploded when they died, using up a huge chunk of our resources that we should have been wielding against some mu bat-riding spider/goblin hybrids who are about to eat a PC whose player is on holiday as well as some refugees we'd sworn to protect.

When life turns it's back on you...sneak attack for extra damage.

Head admin of the FR wiki:

https://forgottenrealms.fandom.com/
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Alruane
Senior Scribe

USA
434 Posts

Posted - 16 Nov 2013 :  19:25:38  Show Profile Send Alruane a Private Message  Reply with Quote
This is very embarrassing, aside from my own party member killing me. I was shamefully killed by a goblin...whom threw a rather hard rock at my head. Turned out to be an old thieves trap covered in mud. Needless to say, it exploded magically and my head was more or less turned to ash. >_<

" I wonder if you are destined to be forgotten. Will your life fade in the shadow of greater beings?"
~Joneleth Irenicus

"Wisdom? My dear boy, wisdom is knowing that you do not know everything. Wisdom is realizing, a wise man ALWAYS has questions. Not answers."

~Alruane
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genebateman
Acolyte

23 Posts

Posted - 18 Nov 2013 :  21:27:40  Show Profile Send genebateman a Private Message  Reply with Quote
1) my cousin while going down to fight the drows in D1 or D2 second edition got aten by a purple worm. it was funny cause he started to cry

2) i had a great fighter. got done killing a hill giant with out a scratch earlier in the day, later he is out scouting ahead and sees a wild boar. i decide it would be a great dinner for the party. he attacks and gets killed by the boar.
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The Arcanamach
Master of Realmslore

1842 Posts

Posted - 05 Dec 2013 :  00:10:17  Show Profile Send The Arcanamach a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I don't have what I would call 'funny' deaths...but my most memorable one was a 4th-level paladin (with high scores and hp) that sacrificed himself so the rest of the group could escape a group of orcs in a dungeon we were exploring. We had gotten a little too cocky and weren't really using sound tactics and were ambushed by a large group of them, we retreated to a narrow passage and I held them off while they ran.

I have a dream that one day, all game worlds will exist as one.
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Artemel
Learned Scribe

USA
110 Posts

Posted - 28 Dec 2013 :  04:30:32  Show Profile  Visit Artemel's Homepage Send Artemel a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I don't remember the exact adventure, but I am pretty sure it was set in the Forgotten Realms and had something to do with retrieving artifacts from under water.

I died twice in that friggin' adventure.

The first time, I was swallowed by a shark... not dead yet. Figured, okay, I have this nifty new sword that will let me Dimension Door... so I did. Straight up, like 100 feet or something. I thought we were deep underwater. Turns out, not so much. Fell about 90 feet onto the sea and pancaked. Death by falling. -sighs-

The second time I was royally upset...

"There's a dark hole in the floor, surrounded by desiccated corpses, and you can feel the evil radiating from it..."

Okay, so my paladin girds his loins, checks his sword, and dives in...

"You die."

Wait, what?

"You die."

No save, no flavor text, just you die?

"Yes, that's how the author wrote it. I guess he figured the description would ensure no one would enter."

Dude, I'm a paladin. I'm not going to let something as scary as this pass. I have to investigate.

"Well, you're dead and no one can get to your corpse."

-winces and grumbles and is still sore over it a decade later-
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Entromancer
Senior Scribe

USA
388 Posts

Posted - 10 Jan 2014 :  16:07:13  Show Profile Send Entromancer a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I started a spat with my other companions over a dragon's horde...while the dragon as preparing to attack the party.

"...the will is everything. The will to act."--Ra's Al Ghul

"Suffering builds character."--Talia Al Ghul
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Libelnon
Acolyte

United Kingdom
12 Posts

Posted - 10 Jan 2014 :  20:17:50  Show Profile Send Libelnon a Private Message  Reply with Quote
As a GM, different system, the party came across a large hole in a dungeon. Before investigating how it got there, the warrior (a stout little dwarven fellow in chainmail armour) walks over to the edge of the pit and looks down. The lanky mage decides it'll be a great idea to try and drop-kick the dwarf down there, to 'see how deep it is'.

Sadly, the mage wasn't terribly agile. I made him roll to hit. Snake eyes. So, the mage sails straight past the dwarf, and plummets 40 feet to the bottom of the hole, killing the rather frail mage on impact.

At least he found out how deep it was.

Looking for someone to bounce ideas off regarding a first-time campaign in the FR universe, using 3.5 and set in 1372DR.

If you're willing to help out, feel free to PM me.
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Xal Valzar
Learned Scribe

Argentina
214 Posts

Posted - 26 Oct 2014 :  02:05:36  Show Profile Send Xal Valzar a Private Message  Reply with Quote
this didn't happen to me but it was still funny.

the party was fighting a gorilla group. they used children as front line soldiers, they were unarmed and connected tightly via chains and were crying. the party did not attack the children and thus not able to get to the second line of badies. i was the only one that attacked and got to the bad guys and cleaved them, they were actually very weak. until i did that all the rest of the party died from a barrage of arrows.

now its *funny* but in a sad way.

Knowledge is Power
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Misereor
Learned Scribe

164 Posts

Posted - 17 Nov 2014 :  12:07:33  Show Profile Send Misereor a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Diving 100' into a lake to escape a Hydra, forgetting I was wearing a ring of water walking at the time. *splat*
Being locked in a room with a Beholder by the other party members. The DM didn't bother rolling any dice, but merely narrated my pitiful wails for mercy and red fluid leaking from under the door.
Wild Magic causing a Reverse Gravity effect at a 90 degree angle. My character made it for a couple of miles before making a hole in the side of a barn and scaring the hell out of a cow.



What is dead may never die, but rises again, harder, stronger, in a later edition.
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SaMoCon
Senior Scribe

USA
403 Posts

Posted - 23 Nov 2014 :  02:44:07  Show Profile Send SaMoCon a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Back in the days of 2E, one of my friends got his hands on the Waterdeep box set and wanted to run n urban adventure. The rest of us were game and wanted to try our hands as high wire thieves and cat burbglars so we rolled up a cleric of mask and two specialist thieves. Backstory, we were blooded into a low ranking criminal organization that was trying to edge out a larger group that was more idle with its territory while trying to be more "respectable." Essentially, it allowed a small window for shenanigans in their territory so long as we don't cause a major incident. 2nd Ed rules we rolled our hit points: 2, 1, and 1 respectively... well, crap! The adventure continued with planning for use of the sewer system to bypass the section walls and major thoroughfares, roof hopping to avoid patrols, and intentionally bumping into groups of people to appear as part of larger crowds to remain inconspicuous. Everything went off as we planned and even when the dice failed we were able to role-play and back-up plan our way to the goal - a rich residence of a merchant vessel owner who was out of town buying a second ship from Luskan. Over the wall, through the garden, up the side of the house, and into the bedroom. The cleric remained outside as lookout while the two thieves... were confronted by a lap dog. 3 rounds of combat, both thieves killed by a friggan' Pomeranian. The cleric could not come up to help because we did not have enough time to set the rope for him to climb up, the first floor doors and windows were locked tight, and any loud noise was sure to bring the watch prowling the street. To whit, the cleric was caught leaving the compound since he did not have his thief escorts scouting the way and implicated in the attempted robbery when the bodies were discovered by the house staff. This tied with a murder we committed upon a surprise encounter with a sewer worker had him sentenced to hang. The TPK all hinged on a lap dog. We still ruefully refer to this as the [air quote]water[/air quote] adventure even 20 years after.

Make the best use of the system that's there, then modify the mechanics that don't allow you to have the fun you are looking for.
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Noobi-wan
Acolyte

USA
6 Posts

Posted - 09 Sep 2015 :  04:55:59  Show Profile Send Noobi-wan a Private Message  Reply with Quote
2 edition many, many,many years ago I will never forget it.

After many hours of making characters we finally started to play. The DM, a good friend of mine, warned me that playing a paladin was not a good idea. He was very against paladins at the time, l laughed it off, thinking what was the worst that could happen.

Twenty minutes into the game our party comes across a small group of goblins assaulting a small caravan. I decide to help and charged in, being the Lawful Good Paladin I was, I was determined to smite these foul beasts. Charging in, and leaving my companions behind in my dust, I lineup on the first foul little beast I see, shouting to my God to give me strength. I miss the first goblin with my lance, however, the second one must have been a pitcher in the Goblin World Series. He launched a rock at my plate mail clad Paladin with the accuracy of a little green Sandy Koufax and rolled a 20!
The force of the blow called for a Riding land based Prof check, which I failed tremendously. Falling from my charging horse I was allowed a saving throw to determine how painful the fall was. The Gods were not with my however, since my save consisted of a 1! It was determined by the DM that my fall was less than graceful and instead of landing on my rump, I landed on my head, soundly breaking my neck. As I lay there cursing lady luck, but unable to make any sound other than moans, the Goblin Hall of Fame Rock thrower soundly walks up and skewers me, thereby making it the first and last time I played a Paladin.
This story is still told today when any new people to our group asks, "Can I play a Paladin?"

And beware, goblins with rocks!!

Edited by - Noobi-wan on 09 Sep 2015 05:05:54
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BenN
Senior Scribe

Japan
382 Posts

Posted - 09 Sep 2015 :  07:15:51  Show Profile Send BenN a Private Message  Reply with Quote
A long time ago, exploring some drow city in the Underdark with my school friends.

As the party thief, I want to sneak around so I tell the DM that I want to be as inconspicuous as possible.

The DM smirks, and asks me if I'm sure I want to do that?

I angrily reply 'Yes!'.

I then get lit up with all sorts of Faerie Fire, I make a ton of noise, my clothes & armor catch alight, and I'm instantly attacked by all the drow in the nearby area, attracted by the spectacle.

Turns out that I misspoke; I insisted to the DM that I wanted to be as conspicuous as possible.

Edited by - BenN on 09 Sep 2015 07:16:38
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Delwa
Master of Realmslore

USA
1268 Posts

Posted - 09 Sep 2015 :  18:29:21  Show Profile  Visit Delwa's Homepage Send Delwa a Private Message  Reply with Quote
So, I was in an abandoned Castle keep with a Dwarven Cleric of Talos as my fellow party member. Just the two of us, if I recall correctly, and we saw a mage looking guy approaching with a small army (less than 100, more than 50) of skeletons. We shut the gate, attempted to parley, failed. No biggie. It's just one guy, itching for a fight, and all he's got with him are skeletons. This was back in 3.5, when a high level character could wade through skellies with little enough to fear. I had an AC near 30, so after conferring with my companion, I shadow stepped down to try and Sneak Attack the Necromancer. Plan was, if I failed to drop him, I'd shadow step back to the safety of the keep and be ok. Even if a few skeletons managed to hit me, I'd still be ok health wise. Solid plan.
Except I never got the chance to shadow step back. I popped up beside said Necromancer, critically failed my Sneak Attack, and discovered what Baneguard were, all before my next initiative.
Every. Single. Baneguard nailed me with its signature Magic Missile attack.

I was toast. Nay, buried, even.
The DM allowed the cleric to teleport down, grab my corpse, and haul me to safety, and later I was resurrected, with a healthy respect for skeletons. The rest of my party showed up next session and took care of the Necromancer, but it was still a very unsettling way to learn about Baneguard.

- Delwa Aunglor
I am off to slay yon refrigerator and spoil it's horde. Go for the cheese, Boo!

"The Realms change; seldom at the speed desired of those who strive, but far too quickly for those who resist." - The Simbul, taken from the Forgotten Realms Campaign Conspectus
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Alystra Illianniis
Great Reader

USA
3750 Posts

Posted - 30 Sep 2015 :  04:22:56  Show Profile Send Alystra Illianniis a Private Message  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Renin

quote:
Originally posted by Alystra Illianniis

The other one is the one and only time I ever actually killed a PC as a DM. (I'm rather proud of my record of almost 100% survival rate of PC's in my games...)


I'm actually more proud of the fact that my players have said to me "We're terrified of your adventures. We truly believe we will all die each time we start."

I don't want to kill them purposefully, but...yeah, they'll die if they screw around and don't get down to work. :D




Well, I actually try to see how far into the adventure the players can get without a) getting killed, or b) the group dissolving. That was actually one of my longest-running campaigns, so it was pretty shocking that someone actually died. Most of the other games I've run have been short-lived due to players not being able to continue the game for one reason or another.

Here's a fun one from my current group, in which I am a player. I am playing Beznik, my pyromaniac gnome wizard (whom some of the long-time members here may be familiar with). We also have in our group, a female ifrit barbarian, whom he has developed a bit of a crush on, due to her fire resistance and her "hot-headed" temper and bravery. SO he's become somewhat prone to using his fire spells when she's in the line of fire, so to speak, knowing that she will most likely be okay. At one point, he even used a flaming sphere right next to her, to take out several kobolds- some of whom turned out to also have fire resistance due to being red dragon descended! Well, none of the party was killed, but the ifrit took some damage due to failing resistance rolls. Oops.

The Goddess is alive, and magic is afoot.

"Where Science ends, Magic begins" -Spiral, Uncanny X-Men #491

"You idiots! You've captured their STUNT doubles!" -Spaceballs

Lothir's character background/stats: http://forum.candlekeep.com/pop_profile.asp?mode=display&id=5469

My stories:
http://z3.invisionfree.com/Mickeys_Comic_Tavern/index.php?showforum=188

Lothir, courtesy of Sylinde (Deviant Art)/Luaxena (Chosen of Eilistraee)
http://sylinde.deviantart.com/#/d2z6e4u
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Dargoth
Great Reader

Australia
4607 Posts

Posted - 07 Nov 2015 :  05:31:36  Show Profile  Visit Dargoth's Homepage Send Dargoth a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I cant remeber any of my characters dying in amusing ways but I do remeber two player characters in a game I was running dying in a way that would for ever be refered to as the Hannibal Barca incident.

The Hannibal Barca incident

I was running Ruins of Adeventure (The tabletop version of the old Pool of Radience SSI game) and the party had enter the Pyramid on the Stonjaw River north of Phlan. Now inside the Pyramid are a series of Teleport pads that would take you to different locations in the Pyramid so as the DM I decided to mix things up and have the party get split up. The Dwarvern Fighter and a human ranger where together but it just so happened both those characters had oppted not to buy ayn adventuring gear ie Rope, Grappling hook, 10' pole etc and even though they where now level 6 they had never bought the equipment.


So the pair wandered around the lower level of the Pyramid trying to find the rest of the party. Eventually they encountered a 20 foot deep pit trap that both fell into. I was at this point that they released that they had no way to get out, the walls where sheer and they had no climbing equipment. So the Ranger decides to use a Wand he was carrying but hadnt been used or identified. Now the player running the Ranger was smart... to a point he didnt know what the Wand would do it could have been Fireballs for all he knew so he decided to fire the wand straight up hoping that if it was a damage spell they would be out of range.

So I said are you sure you want to do that? Yes he said. Ok Role percentiles and tell me what you get.. At that point they knew exactly what the Wand was they had played alot of D&D and there was ONLY ONE WAND that used Percentiles the WAND OF WONDER.. So there where a few things on the list that if they got them might have gotten them out of the 20' deep pit so I look up the result and start laughing.

"A gate briefly opens, and two elephants appear 20 feet in the air diretcly above you, they fall into the pit ontop of you"


I then hand each player a blank character sheet.

I then turned to two of the other players who are on the same level and say "You briefly hear something that sounds like Trumpeting Elephants and then Silence"

The other 4 players burst out laughing

“I am the King of Rome, and above grammar”

Emperor Sigismund

"Its good to be the King!"

Mel Brooks
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JohnLynch
Learned Scribe

Australia
243 Posts

Posted - 07 Nov 2015 :  07:52:41  Show Profile Send JohnLynch a Private Message  Reply with Quote
My first Forgotten Realms character fell into a pit trap in Undernountain. Had a few monsters fall in with me and drop me to unconscious. The rest of the party decided it was a good time to retreat and tried to grab my unconscious body with a grappling hook. One critical hit later I'm dead but they have my head (the monsters ate the rest of my body). I eventually got better.

DM of the Realms: A blog for my Forgotten Realms adventures.
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hashimashadoo
Master of Realmslore

United Kingdom
1150 Posts

Posted - 10 Nov 2015 :  00:28:14  Show Profile  Visit hashimashadoo's Homepage Send hashimashadoo a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Like in my last post here, this didn't happen to me, but rather my players in a game I was running. This is the tale of Captain Coffee:

I was running a nonlawful campaign set on a ship (with the presumption that the players would eventually become pirates). I'd been pretty generous with the player races available for selection. The PCs were starting as level 1 characters on a ship that already had a captain and crew however, and I was encouraging them out of character to make any moves they wanted to out of sight of the officers.

A feral goblin barbarian though, could not (understandably) get the idea of subtlety through its skull however, and was ambushed and murdered by a couple of petty officers. The goblin's Real Life brother wanted revenge for his bro's character and began to plan a mutiny.

Next session, the goblin player's replacement PC was announced as a half-orc who had spent most of his starting gold on the biggest hammer he could buy and a deckchair. ALL of the rest went on a giant sack of coffee.

So this half-orc rolls up to the ship in a dinghy waving his hammer over his head as if he's about to attempt a hostile boarding action. One of the other PCs throws a rope down to him and, with lucky rolls, this half-orc managed to climb up it carrying a 50 pound sack of raw coffee beans that he'd been munching on for at least a week. The crew tried to restrain him to confiscate his items. More lucky rolls and the half-orc has stood his ground, pushing crewmen away from his sack and then began cradling it like a baby. When the same petty officers who murdered the goblin tried to intervene, the half-orc pulls out his deckchair, takes a seat and successfully intimidates both of them into keeping their distance. One of those petty officers had a whip however, and managed to pull the legs of the half-orc's chair out from under him.

The rest of the PCs take this as a sign to begin their planned mutiny. They manage to kill one of the petty officers and knock the other one unconscious before they are overpowered.

The captain does not abide violence between crewmembers (that he is aware of) and punishes all of the PCs to varying degrees. He wants them off his ship and foists them off on his first mate after they capture another vessel and man it with a skeleton crew.

The half-orc, now nicknamed 'Captain Coffee', wants his confiscated coffee beans back but had managed to annoy the quartermaster in a failed attempt to frame the surviving petty officer for theft. So he stole his stuff back - with no hope of hiding it as he carried it onto the new boat. The captain stopped him, accusing him of theft.

Captain: "You've got some brass balls to steal from me, swab. I've keelhauled folk for less."
Coffee: "I'll pay you more than they're worth from my share of the booty." (Fool forgot honourifics AND any semblance of a respectful tone)
Captain: "What if I'm not interested in yer gold? I'll give ye yer stuff - got no need fer it anyway - in exchange fer two of yer fingers."

Coffee's player asks me what the game penalties for losing fingers are. I say -1 Dexterity for every three fingers lost. The character says okay, grits his teeth, draws a knife and cuts off the little finger from each hand.

"Those weren't the fingers I wanted." the cap'n says with an evil smile.

Being somewhat of a powergamer and planning a Dex-based build, Captain Coffee's player couldn't cope with the permanent loss of Dexterity that came from losing four fingers and attacked the ship's cap'n. Coffee died and his player went on to roll up a character who was far less fun and far more of a headache for me.

When life turns it's back on you...sneak attack for extra damage.

Head admin of the FR wiki:

https://forgottenrealms.fandom.com/
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Darkmeer
Senior Scribe

USA
505 Posts

Posted - 12 Nov 2015 :  17:57:01  Show Profile  Visit Darkmeer's Homepage Send Darkmeer a Private Message  Reply with Quote
my NOT lurking post...

This was a game run by KnightErrantJR (before his hiatus, and mine too for that matter). Playing in the Dalelands, and another (rare) forumite (Foghorn) was playing a Goliath Rogue. I was playing a Gnome Spellthief. We had just slain a hydra. The goliath thought he would be use one of the Hydra's heads to scare the Gnome while the Gnome was searching for traps going down into the dungeon below (trophy taking has been a thing in our campaigns, as has puppeteering). The Gnome failed both his reflex and will saves, thinking they Hydra had come back to life and was going to eat him, and tumbled down the stairs, meeting a pair of axe traps along the way down. So, the poor gnome was at the bottom of stairs in a couple of pieces.

I was laughing so hard at the description. KEJR looked and apologized, but I waived him off until I could stop laughing.

"These people are my family, not just friends, and if you want to get to them you gotta go through ME."

Edited by - Darkmeer on 18 Nov 2015 05:07:44
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Brylock
Acolyte

USA
43 Posts

Posted - 15 Nov 2015 :  08:08:32  Show Profile Send Brylock a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I literally, and I don't mean figuratively but LITERALLY tripped and fell on my own sword.
Definitely the most embarrassing D&D death I have ever had for any character period, not just in FR.

"It's almost like whenever you talk you flip through the dictionary and pull out words at random or something."
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The Masked Mage
Great Reader

USA
2420 Posts

Posted - 15 Nov 2015 :  22:21:00  Show Profile Send The Masked Mage a Private Message  Reply with Quote
One time in college a group I was roleplaying with turned out to be big assholes. After having enough of watching them be dicks I waited until all our characters were in a little room recovering from battle, then broke my staff of the magic over my knee, killing myself and everyone else in its retributive strike, and then walked out :). The final word was sweet.
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ErskineF
Learned Scribe

USA
330 Posts

Posted - 21 Jan 2016 :  03:23:41  Show Profile  Visit ErskineF's Homepage Send ErskineF a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I was playing Gruntar, a panther moreau, in a Gamma World campaign. I had mentioned to the DM that I was getting a little bored with the character, and was thinking about rolling up a new one. That was my first mistake.

We were exploring a metal tower that had been built before the apocalypse, and it held all kinds of high-tech gadgetry in it. There were several security robots that we had fought, but the most dangerous robot turned out to be a surgical-bot. We had found a security badge that gave us clearance to use its services. One of its functions was that it could provide synthetic upgrades. Another player and I were both eager to reap the benefit of this, but at the last minute he smelt a rat and decided to let me go first. I eagerly accepted. That was my second mistake.

The DM gave a very colorful description of how the apparatus worked. I laid down on a form-fitting chair that enveloped me in a green goo. I was rendered unconscious, and the surgical-bot began the operation. Little did we know that in the long years of its confinement in the tower it had gone mad. It proceeded with great delight (acted out by the DM with an equal amount of delight) to carve poor Gruntar up into little pieces, taking him apart on the cellular level. As the first slices came off, the other party members asked the robot if he knew what he was doing, but he blithely assured them that when he was finished, I would be better than new! Lasers and scalpels flashed rapidly up and down Gruntar's body, and the next thing they knew, he slid out of the chair, a mass of disassembled biological glop. It had all been done with such humor on the DM's part, that for a moment none of us could quite believe what had happened. Then the robot stepped back with a flourish and asked, "Who's next!?" Battle ensued, and they ended up tossing him over the railing of the central balcony. He fell several stories and broke into pieces when he hit the ground floor.

I might have been angry about the character dying without even getting a die roll, but the DM had SO MUCH FUN with it, it would have been churlish to spoil the moment. :D


--
Erskine Fincher
http://forgotten-realms.wandering-dwarf.com/index.php
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Diffan
Great Reader

USA
4425 Posts

Posted - 21 Jan 2016 :  05:17:08  Show Profile Send Diffan a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Most Laughable: We were about 16th level in a v3.5 campaign and the DM was showing signs that he was getting pretty fed up with the group (all in good fun I might add). The encounters were becoming more ferocious and difficult because he went all "Monty Haul" earlier with magical items to the group.

Anyways the group came across this farm that was appearing to have some sort of tree problem. When we investigate we're suddenly attacked by these twisted trees that are ridiculously powerful as they can cast the Weird and Phantasmal Killer at-will. Along with those are these swirling vortexes filled with all manner of weapons that basically slash you to death in a matter of seconds.

Unperturbed by this seemingly "easy" encounter we gladly roll for initiative. Quickly we learned that this was pretty darn deadly as two of our PCs (17th level Cleric/Ur-priest and 16th level Sorceress/Hathran almost died within the 2nd round). My Barbarian/Fighter/Frenzied Berserker went to work cutting down every tree he could see. The Prestige Class has a feature that, as long as you're raging/frenzying you cannot die due to HP loss. So as I embark on chopping down the 4th evil twisted tree my Frenzy peters out and I succumb to the —70-ish hp damage that I had taken. The DM described it as I just fell apart into small chunks of meat (cue deadly trap from the first Resident Evil movie). It was pretty darn funny IMO.


Edited by - Diffan on 21 Jan 2016 05:18:55
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Callmegene
Acolyte

USA
3 Posts

Posted - 15 Mar 2016 :  15:46:50  Show Profile Send Callmegene a Private Message  Reply with Quote
For the record, Wooly Rupert's descriptions about Eric the Wonder Cleric and his many characters were true. And yes, the 'Fine, I'll push the button again' was a bit of spite towards the DM situation at the time. What unfortunately Rupert did not participate in was the adventure where the Infamous Eric played an elven berserker. So, to keep him from having to roll character every twenty minutes, Eric was given an amulet of life preservation which worked after a random period of time. So, while there were the usual head shake of shame incidents with Eric, the high lights is when my Dwarven axe for hire, and friend's half elf minstrel discovered that Eric was more useful alive then dead. So, horses and wagon run off during a fight during which Eric was killed? Simple, we lash some ropes about Eric's ankles and the supplies to his corpse and drag him along. Up on a tower and not sure if we have enough rope to climb back down? Well, we had Eric's corpse. And while it was random, Mike had to leave the room when he rolled, and Eric revived half way down. For the record, despite the flailing and awful screaming, we did count the seconds, and DID have enough rope. Sinking ship and Eric cannot swim? Well, remember the end of 'Jaws' when Sheriff Brody and Matt Hooper paddle home on drift wood? Well, in this case Eric's body did float. Needless to say, while I did have my share of character death's, nothing could ever beat Eric's Utility Corpse.
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Callmegene
Acolyte

USA
3 Posts

Posted - 15 Mar 2016 :  15:52:59  Show Profile Send Callmegene a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Also, that campaign is where the phrase, 'Shut up Eric, you're dead' came from.
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Helm
Acolyte

United Kingdom
22 Posts

Posted - 18 Oct 2016 :  19:26:24  Show Profile Send Helm a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I DM'd a group years ago, that included a firbolg fighter. The player was so excited to play a firbolg. On his very first swing of his large sized greatsword and I mean his 'very' first swing, he rolled a '1'. At the time we used the 'Good Hits and Bad Misses' tables from an old Dragon. He rolled critical hit self, scored near maximum damage and killed himself!

Another time, we had a psionicist who made himself paper thin to slide under a door...only to be shredded by the owlbears in the room.

Happy days ;-)
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Korginard
Learned Scribe

USA
126 Posts

Posted - 28 Oct 2016 :  21:13:00  Show Profile  Visit Korginard's Homepage Send Korginard a Private Message  Reply with Quote
That Psionicist obviously did not own any Cats!!!!

My first blunder:
Slave Pits of the Undercity: Investigating a room with a "Funny Smell" but it was dark, so being the brilliant 10 year old I was I struck a torch... BOOM!

<sigh>

Hey, at that age I was just happy my older brother was letting me play! (And that I had wandered off on my own so didn't blow up the rest of the party.. thus no angry teenagers chasing me from the house) :)
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Purple Dragon Knight
Master of Realmslore

Canada
1796 Posts

Posted - 06 Nov 2016 :  20:59:00  Show Profile Send Purple Dragon Knight a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Worse than death: one of my players kept disrupting the game and making suicidal decisions because he's the type of person who likes to roll new characters every week. He had his paladin charge the bad guys alone (i.e. he didn't wait for the others that were back at the inn and would only arrive an hour later at the appointed time - paladin didn't like to drink, of course). The bad guys overwhelmed him. He was about to gleefully rip his character sheet as the last blow was about to land on his head when I said, "Bad guy number 4 hits you for nonlethal damage." The bad guys proceeded to bring him back to the enemy castle and dismembered him one limb at a time, making sure to have an expert vivisectionist on hand that carefully sowed shut / cauterized each stump so he wouldn't die. The leader of the bad guys proceeded to mount him on a specially crafted cross located behind his throne, so that the torso and head only paladin would serve as his 'advisor' and 'ethics counselor.' When the rest of the party finally joined back with the paladin later, the party's big guy was basically wearing the paladin as a backpack, and mechanical prostethics were added in time for more functionality. The character did not die, and henceforth COULD NO LONGER DIE as he was UNABLE TO CHARGE IN SUICIDAL MANNERS, being strapped to the most careful PC's back. >:)
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Wooly Rupert
Master of Mischief
Moderator

USA
36779 Posts

Posted - 07 Nov 2016 :  02:59:43  Show Profile Send Wooly Rupert a Private Message  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Purple Dragon Knight

Worse than death: one of my players kept disrupting the game and making suicidal decisions because he's the type of person who likes to roll new characters every week. He had his paladin charge the bad guys alone (i.e. he didn't wait for the others that were back at the inn and would only arrive an hour later at the appointed time - paladin didn't like to drink, of course). The bad guys overwhelmed him. He was about to gleefully rip his character sheet as the last blow was about to land on his head when I said, "Bad guy number 4 hits you for nonlethal damage." The bad guys proceeded to bring him back to the enemy castle and dismembered him one limb at a time, making sure to have an expert vivisectionist on hand that carefully sowed shut / cauterized each stump so he wouldn't die. The leader of the bad guys proceeded to mount him on a specially crafted cross located behind his throne, so that the torso and head only paladin would serve as his 'advisor' and 'ethics counselor.' When the rest of the party finally joined back with the paladin later, the party's big guy was basically wearing the paladin as a backpack, and mechanical prostethics were added in time for more functionality. The character did not die, and henceforth COULD NO LONGER DIE as he was UNABLE TO CHARGE IN SUICIDAL MANNERS, being strapped to the most careful PC's back. >:)



Wouldn't that impact his laying on of hands ability?

Similar tale: once, me and Callmegene were at what was then the local gaming store. Gene is looking at this dude's Space Marine army, and notices a trooper that doesn't have any arms. "What kind of weapons does this guy have?" he asks.

Before the other guy could respond, I jumped in there: "Voice-activated ones, of course!"

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Edited by - Wooly Rupert on 07 Nov 2016 03:01:32
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Diffan
Great Reader

USA
4425 Posts

Posted - 07 Nov 2016 :  05:11:12  Show Profile Send Diffan a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Just recently I had a Dwarf cleric of Moradin try to jump an animated elephant on rolling pins (tomb of horrors, 5e) and well....he didn't make his Dexterity save and then couldnt roll out of the way. Splat!
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