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 The most laugheble way you ever died.

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T O P I C    R E V I E W
Einheriar Posted - 01 Apr 2009 : 02:10:39
Hi there time to share some funny memmorys from your starting career as an adventurer.

I go first.

1: Passing out after a battle in a patch of crabgrass

2: sitting under a table in a ruined keep, being chased by kobolds, but assured they would not find me , since my fellow adventurer a mage, had turned me invisible, sadly kobolds have good scence of smell

3:jumping of a cliff, to avoid some trolls, think i had to roll the dice around 20 times, was level 2, afterwards the DM told me, it was not trolls, but only robbers dressed as such, my char had an fobi for trolls

4: trying to throw a flask of deadly acid, not making the fumble check

So how about you, anything funny happened to you

25   L A T E S T    R E P L I E S    (Newest First)
Fineva Posted - 16 Oct 2018 : 05:12:25
Tselin Nyai my wizard was hiding under a fully functional palanquin with ten bearers, someone shot the bearers and the palanquin fell on him, one of the legs pinning his chest. The party trying to lift it off him multiple times ended up driving the stake through him.
Ayrik Posted - 16 Oct 2018 : 03:44:08
(She might be "in charge" of accumulating/decorating all the stuff in the home, but a smart man spends a little extra to ensure he has a comfy couch.)
Wooly Rupert Posted - 15 Oct 2018 : 20:03:09
quote:
Originally posted by ziresta

In a Stargate d20 game, I blew up a dinosaur . . . and got killed by a large hunk of it landing on me. I think the rest of my PC deaths have been pretty boring "took on a monster that it turns out I couldn't handle" things.

But, as DM, I killed my wife's character in the very first encounter in a game . . . by having someone hit her with a stick. I rolled VERY well. She was level 1, and her hit points were not so great. As it was a 1-on-1 game and I'd built the whole concept around her character, there was conveniently someone nearby to resurrect her. Otherwise, that would've been one of the shortest games of all time.



...And a lonely night on the couch.
ziresta Posted - 15 Oct 2018 : 18:34:43
In a Stargate d20 game, I blew up a dinosaur . . . and got killed by a large hunk of it landing on me. I think the rest of my PC deaths have been pretty boring "took on a monster that it turns out I couldn't handle" things.

But, as DM, I killed my wife's character in the very first encounter in a game . . . by having someone hit her with a stick. I rolled VERY well. She was level 1, and her hit points were not so great. As it was a 1-on-1 game and I'd built the whole concept around her character, there was conveniently someone nearby to resurrect her. Otherwise, that would've been one of the shortest games of all time.
Sesserdrix Posted - 04 Sep 2018 : 21:46:46
Alright, so I have two stories here. Note, neither of these are my death, they are the death of one of my player characters.

First, the story of Petyr the Scholar

Petyr was an elderly old man who had spent his entire life digging into tomes of lore and learning spectacular things about the world. Yet, as age got to him, his list of books began to grow short... He knew there was more to learn, more books to find, more lore to discover, but he realized he could no longer stay trapped away inside of a tower for all of his days. He had to go out and live a little if he wanted to keep learning.

That day, he went down to his local adventuring guild and he signed up for the next adventuring group leaving town on some task! He met up with them the following morning as they were offloading weaponry and supplies from a cart to gear themselves up. He looked around with an excited and anxious smile. They, on the other hand, were not so thrilled... They had a job to descend into the sewers because of reports of undead in the area. He thought this would be a fantastic first experience.

He followed the adventurers down into the sewers, waiting for his opportunity to help out. He did a little bit, but others seemed to 'fit' their roles much easier than he. When a door needed opening, someone else was there. When a piece of magic needed dispelling, someone else was there to do it. Whenever he started to speak, someone else spoke first.

The adventure was getting intense and people were starting to get exhausted. Their resources were dwindling... Furthermore, they saw that the water was becoming increasingly acidic and the walls showed marks of acidic claws. They ventured forth, dead set on achieving their task... And that's when they saw the green dragon.

The party's morale broke. They realized they were in no shape for this fight, so they turned to run. Everyone was sprinting away as Petyr looked back and saw the dragon was gaining on them. He thought quickly and realized he had just the spell for this... He turned and he cast spell to blind the dragon! The dragon roared as it was unable to see where it was going. Petyr cheered in triumph as the wave of corrosive acidic gas overtook him and melted him.

The party escaped and then did a headcount. Someone was missing... They checked their list and realized it was Petyr who was missing. Did he get lost? Try as they might, they never found poor Petyr's body, even after they returned better suited to the fight and downed the rampaging beast that had somehow taken up in the deep sewer system.

This is an actual story I DMed for. It is stories like this that remind me just how great player deaths can be.

The Story of an Aquatic Elf or Why You Should Always Knowledge Check Before Messing With Stuff

New player to a new game. She wanted to play an Aquatic Elf so we found a way to make it work. Our game was based in 1372 DR in the aftermath of the Goblin War. Things had grown terrible for Cormyr, in large part because of my BBEG capitalizing on Cormyr's vulnerable position.

My group was traveling southward along the Moonsea Ride to reach Arabel with their discharge papers from the Purple Dragons. They had made it through Gnoll Pass. Now as a DM, I knew we had a RP heavy gaming session ahead of us when they hit Arabel, so I wanted to add in a quick combat for my adventurers. I decided that they would happen upon a group of goblins who had fled Arabel after the city was recaptured. And for BBEG plot reasons, I decided they would be in the middle of a ritual summoning that was well beyond them... But they had a book with instructions, a "Devil Summoning for Dummies" type of book.

The Goblins were getting along with it when my adventurers happened upon their camp. They saw that the lead goblin was using a dead human's blood to draw the circle into the ground. So my aquatic elf screams out, in Goblin, "Hey! You all from Arabel?" "Yeah, we are! You?" "Same!". What began was a deceptive conversation worthy of the best spies in the Realms, convincing the Goblins that she was actually one of them. For as brilliant a strategy as this was, sadly, things were to get much worse.

Seizing the moment of surprise to strike down half of the camp, the group was rather successful in stopping them. The party rushed after the goblins... All except the Aquatic Elf. She examined the circle and then looked at the tome. She asked if she could complete the circle. I had her roll her knowledge on it, and yes she could!

She did. She finished the circle, conducted the ritual just in time for the others of the party to turn around and notice, screaming for her to stop. Nope, she summoned a Spiked Devil. Merely a level 1, this wasn't a good thing for our hero. However, this was a devil. Devils make deals, this gives me the chance for narrative development! The devil will get involved in the party and will make a deal with them. Perfect!

"Hail Demon!" cries the Aquatic Elf. The others in the party all immediately facepalm. The Spiked Devil is enraged. She tries to lunge out of the way as the Spiked Devil's tail lashes forward and impales her though her abdomen. She screams in pain for a brief moment before two spiked hands with sharp claws come down and rip her in half and kills her.

The party flees. Deus Ex Machina occurs and the devil situation is handled... But that's the most glorious suicide I've ever seen.
Thraskir Skimper Posted - 17 Jun 2018 : 04:08:47
More Spells: Sarmin's Eye, This is a spell / cursed item that is one of those things that is just so much fun to play. Sarmin was a Wizard and later Lich and even after that Demi Lich in my Sea of Dust Oearth adventures. In his final battle Sarmin devastated an attacking army killing himself and turning a central Oasis in the Sea of Dust into yet more dust. He escaped his demise by magic Jaring into his Staff and flinging it into the Forgotten Realms. Skimper my Red Wizard found the broken staff and suddenly all went black. Skimper woke up in a strange ghostly body invisible if there at all. Unable to hear or touch or taste Skimper found he could float / fly about. He couldn't speech but he could see and could detect thoughts as per the spell. Skimper woke at night and spent a while floating flying around in circles trying to figure out what happened. Eventually with sun rise he found he could see better but when looking into a pool of water found out he wasn't looking back at himself.

Through experiments Skimper found he could touch but it was wierd and only right around where he could see from. He didn't blink and deduced that somehow he was in an Arcane eye or Wizards eye spell form. Invisible but not just a ghost. He could bump into things. Skimper also realized that he could see his tracks in the dirt where he came upon the broken staff. And even more astonishingly he could see his tracks leading off further down the path. Skimper was stuck in a Magic Jar. A flying invisible Arcane Eye Magic Jar. One that could hear birds think. Luckily Skimper as a divination specialist used the Detect thoughts spell enough to recognize it.

With nothing else to do Skimper started following his tracks. While doing so he happened upon a pair of Goblins. It was then that Skimper found he could not only hear the Goblin thoughts but could send a thought to a Goblin. This resulted in a Goblin fight when one Goblin could hear his suggestion that the other has stolen the gold coin they found. The one surviving Goblin celebrated his victory and learned that a ghost, Skimper, was here to help this Goblin become a master Goblin Mage. it seemed that Skimper remembered his spells but was unable to cast any while in the Magic Jar, but could cast spells using the Goblin.

Eventually the Goblin Mage attacked a group of Human but suddenly no spells came. The Goblin was dispatched and a pretty young female fighter became the next vessel of Skimper. Skimpers form before he found the staff was that of a very old Red Wizard. A plan was hatched. it took many days and weeks and the fighter commander slowly started to change, distrust broke among her subordinates as she spend many a day locked in her tower ranting and talking to herself. One day she picked up her new books, a carry case and walked away. provisions and a wooden tree branch walking staff, wearing a travel robe, with hooded cloak.

Long story short, Skimper transformed the Young Lady Commander into a Junior Mage and apprentice. Then with supplies and crafting materials She made a new Staff, the Staff of the Eye. It is a Wizards Staff lets the owner contain a 1" gem in the tip that sees for the maker. It can be prepped with a Magic Jar and a few other spells detect thoughts, Arcane Eye, Invisibility, Comprehend Languages, cause blindness. These spells with the prep and magic process allows one to direct all sight through the gem at the end of the Staff. With Skimpers prodding our slightly insane Mage used the Gem that just appeared next to the Staff one day. When resting the Magic Jar Wizards / Arcane Eye trans forms back into the Gem of the Magic Jar, available for all to see.

Using the Staff of the Eye causes permanent Blindness as long as the staff is owned. But the Gem / Eye on the staff allows one to see through it. One can look over walls, around corners, inside containers etc... One is also immune to all sight based attacks even gaze attacks like the Medusa. Because the Gem has the invisibility cast upon it it is unseeable by others not able to see the invisible. Those that can would see a 1" inch eye without a lid gazing about. Staff owner gains Dark vision and has 120 foot range normal and dark vision.

However the Staff owner is only seeing through one eye and suffers a -4 ranged attack penalty. Finally the Gem is a prepared Magic Jar and one can use it as such. but upon using it to escape, like Sarmin did with Skimpers body and Skimper with his new young body. The staff shatters and a whole new Adventure starts for the new Possessor of the Eye of Sarmin.

Skimper was most pleased with his new body and frequently jumps into younger bodies using his newly constructed Staff of the Eye and deposits Crazy floating Ghosts all about. The Staff of the Eye will warp the Detect thoughts spell into a cursed item like a medallion of ESP. with thought projection as well.

Sarmins Eye. 6th level Spell. Used to create the Staff which will allow for storing and even taking over others bodies. The possessed host wholly loses their body and either must take a new, or float around as a crazy invisible Arcane eye.

Thoughts and Memories are kept by the mind / eye and transfered to the new body.

Skimper did catch up with Sarmin after he become a Lich. While getting a few of his belongings back, Sarmin returned to The Sea of Dust and Skimper and Sarmin on good terms. Out somewhere in the hills around Thay is a portal to the Sea of Dust and a very powerful Demi Lich.
Thraskir Skimper Posted - 17 Jun 2018 : 03:57:17
My Main Wizard Skimper was once an Old Man, He was imprisoned a long time ago as a low level mage and when released found himself on Thaymount. (Imprisonment spell)

He promptly let loose with his lightning bolt and fried the fool who released him, this impressed the local Red Wizard over seeing his release and ultimately he started training as a Red Wizard.

One day while wandering about Thay Skimper the old heard a snap pop crackle and found a burnt hand holding a staff. While investigating he was overwhelmed and lost consciousness. When he awoke he found he was a ghost. He looked into a nearby puddle and didn't see himself nor anyone else looking back. He also realised he couldn't hear anymore and he seemed to be able to fly about, albeit slowly. He looked about and saw that his footprints walking up to the spot were still visible but surprisingly they also walked away. He started to follow but determined that he wouldn't be able to catch up. As such he went back to have a look at the staff, it was now broken and the Gem he remembered was gone. It was then that he heard something which was strange because he still couldn't hear anything. It was a young bird crying for food from one of its parents which dropped off a grasshopper then flew off. Skimper then realised, Spellcraft check, that he was using a detect thought spell. Moving forward through the leaves of the tree Skimper also realised he could feel the leaves, Spellcraft check. Suddenly it occurred to Skimper this was just like a Wizard Eye Spell. He wasn't a ghost, he was stuck in a Wizards eye spell with detection of thoughts. He then went back and studied the staff and arm some more.

Wooly Rupert Posted - 14 Jun 2018 : 17:57:16
quote:
Originally posted by Ceranai

These are hilarious but not super keen on funny deaths. I like my deaths to be meaningful :p



I'm fairly certain people aren't trying to die in humorous ways.
Ceranai Posted - 14 Jun 2018 : 11:42:25
These are hilarious but not super keen on funny deaths. I like my deaths to be meaningful :p
Misereor Posted - 12 Jun 2018 : 08:47:32
quote:
Originally posted by sleyvas

quote:
Originally posted by Thraskir Skimper


Eaten by Goblins, while wearing a ring of regeneration, 15 times in a row.



You know what.... damned if that's not an interesting idea for an adventure. Goblins get ahold of a ring of regeneration and they use it to keep a person alive as they slowly cut them up for stew meat (not lopping off arms or anything, but slicing off tasty bits). You must rescue the person.



Trauma like that could turn a low level NPC, which the players had been friendly with, into a long term recurring, mentally disturbed antagonist.
sleyvas Posted - 08 Jun 2018 : 14:10:37
quote:
Originally posted by Thraskir Skimper


Eaten by Goblins, while wearing a ring of regeneration, 15 times in a row.



You know what.... damned if that's not an interesting idea for an adventure. Goblins get ahold of a ring of regeneration and they use it to keep a person alive as they slowly cut them up for stew meat (not lopping off arms or anything, but slicing off tasty bits). You must rescue the person.

EDIT: even more interesting... not a person... a magical beast... wonder how long it takes for a unicorn's horn to regenerate if you just grind off the tip.
Thraskir Skimper Posted - 08 Jun 2018 : 02:41:45
Casting a Dispel Magic while standing in a room full of Ethereal Stone. Miss Teleport instant death.

Swallowing three beads of Force for safe keeping, just before being arrested. No one told me they would go off and do double damage internally.

Wild Magic surge crushed by falling cow, that magically appeared above my head.

Eaten by Goblins, while wearing a ring of regeneration, 15 times in a row.

Since then I've developed/found a contingency to prevent this from happening ever again, by accident.



Balmar Foghaven Posted - 11 Feb 2018 : 11:47:48
Oh, and although the drow priestess of the camp survived the above encounter, she basically let them leave unharmed after witnessing that spectacle.
Balmar Foghaven Posted - 11 Feb 2018 : 11:44:39
And though it wasn't actually a death, one of my friends' 5e Wild Magic sorcerers came awfully close. Saved only by sheer dumb luck, as it were (a true testament to the randomness of wild magic).

We were running "Out of the Abyss" and they were quite literally just escaping the first drow camp when the alarm went off due to some failed attempts at stealth. The drow are closing in, and his wild mage decided to tempt fate by using his Tides of Chaos feature and then casting a spell to gain a wild surge.

First he rolls 1% - now he must reroll on the surge table for the next minute on each of his turns (even if unconscious).
The drow close in around him, and on his turn he rolls 7% - "you cast Fireball centered on yourself". That includes him, so he and the nearby drow are incinerated, putting him out but not dead.

His next 3 % rolls: 45, 75, and 84. So his allies are engaged in combat nearby, and now his "corpse" is suddenly floating, glowing brightly, and suddenly lashes out and leeches the life right out of everyone in 30 feet.

So the drow die, one of his companions goes down, but he wakes up with almost maximum HP. Glorious.
Balmar Foghaven Posted - 11 Feb 2018 : 11:37:05
A couple of good ones...

My group decided they wanted to test their mettle against the Tarrasque, so they hunted down its lair in the Underdark and battled it within an enormous cavern. One of them had the bright idea to jump onto its head from a ledge - it can't reach its own head right? Well, until it decided to simply thrust its head upwards into the ceiling - SPLAT.

Similarly, my cousin's barbarian believed it would be cool to jump onto the back of a dragon mid-flight to stab it to death. Not only did he forget that even were he successful that dead dragons fall, he forgot they can also do a barrel-roll. Failed saving throw to hang on, and suddenly he's plummeting 200 feet to the ground.
Dalor Darden Posted - 08 Feb 2018 : 16:21:11
I always liked the befuddled old wizard Fizban; so I made a character of mine named Alzheimer the Addled.

Unlike Fizban, ol' Al had a mean streak, was greedy and generally mistrusted by the party. The DM was getting kind of tired of me I think, so he placed a trap inside a scroll tube.

Anyway, Al opens the scroll which triggers an Acid Storm spell. Even if I saved I knew I was dead and everyone was giggling at the table.

Then of course Aaron (the DM) said to everyone: "What are you laughing at, everyone else is in the area of effect too."

He never did explain how in the hell someone could have inscribed a Sigil/Glyph/Rune on the inside of a scroll tube though...
Fineva Posted - 08 Feb 2018 : 09:22:10
a palanquin fell on my wizard.
My sister, another player tried unsuccessfully to lift it, stabbing the feet of the palanquin repeatedly into the old guys torso.
He did try to get her to find help, but "one more try" etc....ackkkk.
Nyx_Necrodragon Posted - 24 Jul 2017 : 23:13:47
One of the players in my campaign decided to try and steal a magic mirror from a powerful NPC. A mirror that held a Great Old One inside it. He snuck up to the mirror and it ate him. I think that was pretty funny. I'm yet for my character to die in a laughable way.
Varl Posted - 27 Jun 2017 : 04:48:26
I had a female human mage once that, while exploring a dungeon, found a section of it covered in knee deep water. The passageway went ahead maybe 30 feet then made a 90 degree turn left around a corner an undetermined distance. Everyone in the party was procrastinating on what to do next, so I employed a [i]Jump[i] spell and jumped my way down to the end of the corridor and jumped again left. Without thinking, I suddenly realized I couldn't see what was left (human), but it was too late. I jumped ahead into a stone dead end wall, knocked myself unconscious, fell back into the water and drowned. I kind DM may have given the others a chance to get to me in time, but I felt fine with the result. I shouldn't have been so impatient for the group to do something, and that was how I played her personality the entire time, so I think it was a fitting way to end her career and life.

Moral of the story is impatience can be as deadly as tooth and claw.
Diffan Posted - 07 Nov 2016 : 05:11:12
Just recently I had a Dwarf cleric of Moradin try to jump an animated elephant on rolling pins (tomb of horrors, 5e) and well....he didn't make his Dexterity save and then couldnt roll out of the way. Splat!
Wooly Rupert Posted - 07 Nov 2016 : 02:59:43
quote:
Originally posted by Purple Dragon Knight

Worse than death: one of my players kept disrupting the game and making suicidal decisions because he's the type of person who likes to roll new characters every week. He had his paladin charge the bad guys alone (i.e. he didn't wait for the others that were back at the inn and would only arrive an hour later at the appointed time - paladin didn't like to drink, of course). The bad guys overwhelmed him. He was about to gleefully rip his character sheet as the last blow was about to land on his head when I said, "Bad guy number 4 hits you for nonlethal damage." The bad guys proceeded to bring him back to the enemy castle and dismembered him one limb at a time, making sure to have an expert vivisectionist on hand that carefully sowed shut / cauterized each stump so he wouldn't die. The leader of the bad guys proceeded to mount him on a specially crafted cross located behind his throne, so that the torso and head only paladin would serve as his 'advisor' and 'ethics counselor.' When the rest of the party finally joined back with the paladin later, the party's big guy was basically wearing the paladin as a backpack, and mechanical prostethics were added in time for more functionality. The character did not die, and henceforth COULD NO LONGER DIE as he was UNABLE TO CHARGE IN SUICIDAL MANNERS, being strapped to the most careful PC's back. >:)



Wouldn't that impact his laying on of hands ability?

Similar tale: once, me and Callmegene were at what was then the local gaming store. Gene is looking at this dude's Space Marine army, and notices a trooper that doesn't have any arms. "What kind of weapons does this guy have?" he asks.

Before the other guy could respond, I jumped in there: "Voice-activated ones, of course!"
Purple Dragon Knight Posted - 06 Nov 2016 : 20:59:00
Worse than death: one of my players kept disrupting the game and making suicidal decisions because he's the type of person who likes to roll new characters every week. He had his paladin charge the bad guys alone (i.e. he didn't wait for the others that were back at the inn and would only arrive an hour later at the appointed time - paladin didn't like to drink, of course). The bad guys overwhelmed him. He was about to gleefully rip his character sheet as the last blow was about to land on his head when I said, "Bad guy number 4 hits you for nonlethal damage." The bad guys proceeded to bring him back to the enemy castle and dismembered him one limb at a time, making sure to have an expert vivisectionist on hand that carefully sowed shut / cauterized each stump so he wouldn't die. The leader of the bad guys proceeded to mount him on a specially crafted cross located behind his throne, so that the torso and head only paladin would serve as his 'advisor' and 'ethics counselor.' When the rest of the party finally joined back with the paladin later, the party's big guy was basically wearing the paladin as a backpack, and mechanical prostethics were added in time for more functionality. The character did not die, and henceforth COULD NO LONGER DIE as he was UNABLE TO CHARGE IN SUICIDAL MANNERS, being strapped to the most careful PC's back. >:)
Korginard Posted - 28 Oct 2016 : 21:13:00
That Psionicist obviously did not own any Cats!!!!

My first blunder:
Slave Pits of the Undercity: Investigating a room with a "Funny Smell" but it was dark, so being the brilliant 10 year old I was I struck a torch... BOOM!

<sigh>

Hey, at that age I was just happy my older brother was letting me play! (And that I had wandered off on my own so didn't blow up the rest of the party.. thus no angry teenagers chasing me from the house) :)
Helm Posted - 18 Oct 2016 : 19:26:24
I DM'd a group years ago, that included a firbolg fighter. The player was so excited to play a firbolg. On his very first swing of his large sized greatsword and I mean his 'very' first swing, he rolled a '1'. At the time we used the 'Good Hits and Bad Misses' tables from an old Dragon. He rolled critical hit self, scored near maximum damage and killed himself!

Another time, we had a psionicist who made himself paper thin to slide under a door...only to be shredded by the owlbears in the room.

Happy days ;-)
Callmegene Posted - 15 Mar 2016 : 15:52:59
Also, that campaign is where the phrase, 'Shut up Eric, you're dead' came from.

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