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 The most laugheble way you ever died.

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T O P I C    R E V I E W
Einheriar Posted - 01 Apr 2009 : 02:10:39
Hi there time to share some funny memmorys from your starting career as an adventurer.

I go first.

1: Passing out after a battle in a patch of crabgrass

2: sitting under a table in a ruined keep, being chased by kobolds, but assured they would not find me , since my fellow adventurer a mage, had turned me invisible, sadly kobolds have good scence of smell

3:jumping of a cliff, to avoid some trolls, think i had to roll the dice around 20 times, was level 2, afterwards the DM told me, it was not trolls, but only robbers dressed as such, my char had an fobi for trolls

4: trying to throw a flask of deadly acid, not making the fumble check

So how about you, anything funny happened to you

25   L A T E S T    R E P L I E S    (Newest First)
Balmar Foghaven Posted - 11 Feb 2018 : 11:47:48
Oh, and although the drow priestess of the camp survived the above encounter, she basically let them leave unharmed after witnessing that spectacle.
Balmar Foghaven Posted - 11 Feb 2018 : 11:44:39
And though it wasn't actually a death, one of my friends' 5e Wild Magic sorcerers came awfully close. Saved only by sheer dumb luck, as it were (a true testament to the randomness of wild magic).

We were running "Out of the Abyss" and they were quite literally just escaping the first drow camp when the alarm went off due to some failed attempts at stealth. The drow are closing in, and his wild mage decided to tempt fate by using his Tides of Chaos feature and then casting a spell to gain a wild surge.

First he rolls 1% - now he must reroll on the surge table for the next minute on each of his turns (even if unconscious).
The drow close in around him, and on his turn he rolls 7% - "you cast Fireball centered on yourself". That includes him, so he and the nearby drow are incinerated, putting him out but not dead.

His next 3 % rolls: 45, 75, and 84. So his allies are engaged in combat nearby, and now his "corpse" is suddenly floating, glowing brightly, and suddenly lashes out and leeches the life right out of everyone in 30 feet.

So the drow die, one of his companions goes down, but he wakes up with almost maximum HP. Glorious.
Balmar Foghaven Posted - 11 Feb 2018 : 11:37:05
A couple of good ones...

My group decided they wanted to test their mettle against the Tarrasque, so they hunted down its lair in the Underdark and battled it within an enormous cavern. One of them had the bright idea to jump onto its head from a ledge - it can't reach its own head right? Well, until it decided to simply thrust its head upwards into the ceiling - SPLAT.

Similarly, my cousin's barbarian believed it would be cool to jump onto the back of a dragon mid-flight to stab it to death. Not only did he forget that even were he successful that dead dragons fall, he forgot they can also do a barrel-roll. Failed saving throw to hang on, and suddenly he's plummeting 200 feet to the ground.
Dalor Darden Posted - 08 Feb 2018 : 16:21:11
I always liked the befuddled old wizard Fizban; so I made a character of mine named Alzheimer the Addled.

Unlike Fizban, ol' Al had a mean streak, was greedy and generally mistrusted by the party. The DM was getting kind of tired of me I think, so he placed a trap inside a scroll tube.

Anyway, Al opens the scroll which triggers an Acid Storm spell. Even if I saved I knew I was dead and everyone was giggling at the table.

Then of course Aaron (the DM) said to everyone: "What are you laughing at, everyone else is in the area of effect too."

He never did explain how in the hell someone could have inscribed a Sigil/Glyph/Rune on the inside of a scroll tube though...
Fineva Posted - 08 Feb 2018 : 09:22:10
a palanquin fell on my wizard.
My sister, another player tried unsuccessfully to lift it, stabbing the feet of the palanquin repeatedly into the old guys torso.
He did try to get her to find help, but "one more try" etc....ackkkk.
Nyx_Necrodragon Posted - 24 Jul 2017 : 23:13:47
One of the players in my campaign decided to try and steal a magic mirror from a powerful NPC. A mirror that held a Great Old One inside it. He snuck up to the mirror and it ate him. I think that was pretty funny. I'm yet for my character to die in a laughable way.
Varl Posted - 27 Jun 2017 : 04:48:26
I had a female human mage once that, while exploring a dungeon, found a section of it covered in knee deep water. The passageway went ahead maybe 30 feet then made a 90 degree turn left around a corner an undetermined distance. Everyone in the party was procrastinating on what to do next, so I employed a [i]Jump[i] spell and jumped my way down to the end of the corridor and jumped again left. Without thinking, I suddenly realized I couldn't see what was left (human), but it was too late. I jumped ahead into a stone dead end wall, knocked myself unconscious, fell back into the water and drowned. I kind DM may have given the others a chance to get to me in time, but I felt fine with the result. I shouldn't have been so impatient for the group to do something, and that was how I played her personality the entire time, so I think it was a fitting way to end her career and life.

Moral of the story is impatience can be as deadly as tooth and claw.
Diffan Posted - 07 Nov 2016 : 05:11:12
Just recently I had a Dwarf cleric of Moradin try to jump an animated elephant on rolling pins (tomb of horrors, 5e) and well....he didn't make his Dexterity save and then couldnt roll out of the way. Splat!
Wooly Rupert Posted - 07 Nov 2016 : 02:59:43
quote:
Originally posted by Purple Dragon Knight

Worse than death: one of my players kept disrupting the game and making suicidal decisions because he's the type of person who likes to roll new characters every week. He had his paladin charge the bad guys alone (i.e. he didn't wait for the others that were back at the inn and would only arrive an hour later at the appointed time - paladin didn't like to drink, of course). The bad guys overwhelmed him. He was about to gleefully rip his character sheet as the last blow was about to land on his head when I said, "Bad guy number 4 hits you for nonlethal damage." The bad guys proceeded to bring him back to the enemy castle and dismembered him one limb at a time, making sure to have an expert vivisectionist on hand that carefully sowed shut / cauterized each stump so he wouldn't die. The leader of the bad guys proceeded to mount him on a specially crafted cross located behind his throne, so that the torso and head only paladin would serve as his 'advisor' and 'ethics counselor.' When the rest of the party finally joined back with the paladin later, the party's big guy was basically wearing the paladin as a backpack, and mechanical prostethics were added in time for more functionality. The character did not die, and henceforth COULD NO LONGER DIE as he was UNABLE TO CHARGE IN SUICIDAL MANNERS, being strapped to the most careful PC's back. >:)



Wouldn't that impact his laying on of hands ability?

Similar tale: once, me and Callmegene were at what was then the local gaming store. Gene is looking at this dude's Space Marine army, and notices a trooper that doesn't have any arms. "What kind of weapons does this guy have?" he asks.

Before the other guy could respond, I jumped in there: "Voice-activated ones, of course!"
Purple Dragon Knight Posted - 06 Nov 2016 : 20:59:00
Worse than death: one of my players kept disrupting the game and making suicidal decisions because he's the type of person who likes to roll new characters every week. He had his paladin charge the bad guys alone (i.e. he didn't wait for the others that were back at the inn and would only arrive an hour later at the appointed time - paladin didn't like to drink, of course). The bad guys overwhelmed him. He was about to gleefully rip his character sheet as the last blow was about to land on his head when I said, "Bad guy number 4 hits you for nonlethal damage." The bad guys proceeded to bring him back to the enemy castle and dismembered him one limb at a time, making sure to have an expert vivisectionist on hand that carefully sowed shut / cauterized each stump so he wouldn't die. The leader of the bad guys proceeded to mount him on a specially crafted cross located behind his throne, so that the torso and head only paladin would serve as his 'advisor' and 'ethics counselor.' When the rest of the party finally joined back with the paladin later, the party's big guy was basically wearing the paladin as a backpack, and mechanical prostethics were added in time for more functionality. The character did not die, and henceforth COULD NO LONGER DIE as he was UNABLE TO CHARGE IN SUICIDAL MANNERS, being strapped to the most careful PC's back. >:)
Korginard Posted - 28 Oct 2016 : 21:13:00
That Psionicist obviously did not own any Cats!!!!

My first blunder:
Slave Pits of the Undercity: Investigating a room with a "Funny Smell" but it was dark, so being the brilliant 10 year old I was I struck a torch... BOOM!

<sigh>

Hey, at that age I was just happy my older brother was letting me play! (And that I had wandered off on my own so didn't blow up the rest of the party.. thus no angry teenagers chasing me from the house) :)
Helm Posted - 18 Oct 2016 : 19:26:24
I DM'd a group years ago, that included a firbolg fighter. The player was so excited to play a firbolg. On his very first swing of his large sized greatsword and I mean his 'very' first swing, he rolled a '1'. At the time we used the 'Good Hits and Bad Misses' tables from an old Dragon. He rolled critical hit self, scored near maximum damage and killed himself!

Another time, we had a psionicist who made himself paper thin to slide under a door...only to be shredded by the owlbears in the room.

Happy days ;-)
Callmegene Posted - 15 Mar 2016 : 15:52:59
Also, that campaign is where the phrase, 'Shut up Eric, you're dead' came from.
Callmegene Posted - 15 Mar 2016 : 15:46:50
For the record, Wooly Rupert's descriptions about Eric the Wonder Cleric and his many characters were true. And yes, the 'Fine, I'll push the button again' was a bit of spite towards the DM situation at the time. What unfortunately Rupert did not participate in was the adventure where the Infamous Eric played an elven berserker. So, to keep him from having to roll character every twenty minutes, Eric was given an amulet of life preservation which worked after a random period of time. So, while there were the usual head shake of shame incidents with Eric, the high lights is when my Dwarven axe for hire, and friend's half elf minstrel discovered that Eric was more useful alive then dead. So, horses and wagon run off during a fight during which Eric was killed? Simple, we lash some ropes about Eric's ankles and the supplies to his corpse and drag him along. Up on a tower and not sure if we have enough rope to climb back down? Well, we had Eric's corpse. And while it was random, Mike had to leave the room when he rolled, and Eric revived half way down. For the record, despite the flailing and awful screaming, we did count the seconds, and DID have enough rope. Sinking ship and Eric cannot swim? Well, remember the end of 'Jaws' when Sheriff Brody and Matt Hooper paddle home on drift wood? Well, in this case Eric's body did float. Needless to say, while I did have my share of character death's, nothing could ever beat Eric's Utility Corpse.
Diffan Posted - 21 Jan 2016 : 05:17:08
Most Laughable: We were about 16th level in a v3.5 campaign and the DM was showing signs that he was getting pretty fed up with the group (all in good fun I might add). The encounters were becoming more ferocious and difficult because he went all "Monty Haul" earlier with magical items to the group.

Anyways the group came across this farm that was appearing to have some sort of tree problem. When we investigate we're suddenly attacked by these twisted trees that are ridiculously powerful as they can cast the Weird and Phantasmal Killer at-will. Along with those are these swirling vortexes filled with all manner of weapons that basically slash you to death in a matter of seconds.

Unperturbed by this seemingly "easy" encounter we gladly roll for initiative. Quickly we learned that this was pretty darn deadly as two of our PCs (17th level Cleric/Ur-priest and 16th level Sorceress/Hathran almost died within the 2nd round). My Barbarian/Fighter/Frenzied Berserker went to work cutting down every tree he could see. The Prestige Class has a feature that, as long as you're raging/frenzying you cannot die due to HP loss. So as I embark on chopping down the 4th evil twisted tree my Frenzy peters out and I succumb to the 70-ish hp damage that I had taken. The DM described it as I just fell apart into small chunks of meat (cue deadly trap from the first Resident Evil movie). It was pretty darn funny IMO.

ErskineF Posted - 21 Jan 2016 : 03:23:41
I was playing Gruntar, a panther moreau, in a Gamma World campaign. I had mentioned to the DM that I was getting a little bored with the character, and was thinking about rolling up a new one. That was my first mistake.

We were exploring a metal tower that had been built before the apocalypse, and it held all kinds of high-tech gadgetry in it. There were several security robots that we had fought, but the most dangerous robot turned out to be a surgical-bot. We had found a security badge that gave us clearance to use its services. One of its functions was that it could provide synthetic upgrades. Another player and I were both eager to reap the benefit of this, but at the last minute he smelt a rat and decided to let me go first. I eagerly accepted. That was my second mistake.

The DM gave a very colorful description of how the apparatus worked. I laid down on a form-fitting chair that enveloped me in a green goo. I was rendered unconscious, and the surgical-bot began the operation. Little did we know that in the long years of its confinement in the tower it had gone mad. It proceeded with great delight (acted out by the DM with an equal amount of delight) to carve poor Gruntar up into little pieces, taking him apart on the cellular level. As the first slices came off, the other party members asked the robot if he knew what he was doing, but he blithely assured them that when he was finished, I would be better than new! Lasers and scalpels flashed rapidly up and down Gruntar's body, and the next thing they knew, he slid out of the chair, a mass of disassembled biological glop. It had all been done with such humor on the DM's part, that for a moment none of us could quite believe what had happened. Then the robot stepped back with a flourish and asked, "Who's next!?" Battle ensued, and they ended up tossing him over the railing of the central balcony. He fell several stories and broke into pieces when he hit the ground floor.

I might have been angry about the character dying without even getting a die roll, but the DM had SO MUCH FUN with it, it would have been churlish to spoil the moment. :D

The Masked Mage Posted - 15 Nov 2015 : 22:21:00
One time in college a group I was roleplaying with turned out to be big assholes. After having enough of watching them be dicks I waited until all our characters were in a little room recovering from battle, then broke my staff of the magic over my knee, killing myself and everyone else in its retributive strike, and then walked out :). The final word was sweet.
Brylock Posted - 15 Nov 2015 : 08:08:32
I literally, and I don't mean figuratively but LITERALLY tripped and fell on my own sword.
Definitely the most embarrassing D&D death I have ever had for any character period, not just in FR.
Darkmeer Posted - 12 Nov 2015 : 17:57:01
my NOT lurking post...

This was a game run by KnightErrantJR (before his hiatus, and mine too for that matter). Playing in the Dalelands, and another (rare) forumite (Foghorn) was playing a Goliath Rogue. I was playing a Gnome Spellthief. We had just slain a hydra. The goliath thought he would be use one of the Hydra's heads to scare the Gnome while the Gnome was searching for traps going down into the dungeon below (trophy taking has been a thing in our campaigns, as has puppeteering). The Gnome failed both his reflex and will saves, thinking they Hydra had come back to life and was going to eat him, and tumbled down the stairs, meeting a pair of axe traps along the way down. So, the poor gnome was at the bottom of stairs in a couple of pieces.

I was laughing so hard at the description. KEJR looked and apologized, but I waived him off until I could stop laughing.
hashimashadoo Posted - 10 Nov 2015 : 00:28:14
Like in my last post here, this didn't happen to me, but rather my players in a game I was running. This is the tale of Captain Coffee:

I was running a nonlawful campaign set on a ship (with the presumption that the players would eventually become pirates). I'd been pretty generous with the player races available for selection. The PCs were starting as level 1 characters on a ship that already had a captain and crew however, and I was encouraging them out of character to make any moves they wanted to out of sight of the officers.

A feral goblin barbarian though, could not (understandably) get the idea of subtlety through its skull however, and was ambushed and murdered by a couple of petty officers. The goblin's Real Life brother wanted revenge for his bro's character and began to plan a mutiny.

Next session, the goblin player's replacement PC was announced as a half-orc who had spent most of his starting gold on the biggest hammer he could buy and a deckchair. ALL of the rest went on a giant sack of coffee.

So this half-orc rolls up to the ship in a dinghy waving his hammer over his head as if he's about to attempt a hostile boarding action. One of the other PCs throws a rope down to him and, with lucky rolls, this half-orc managed to climb up it carrying a 50 pound sack of raw coffee beans that he'd been munching on for at least a week. The crew tried to restrain him to confiscate his items. More lucky rolls and the half-orc has stood his ground, pushing crewmen away from his sack and then began cradling it like a baby. When the same petty officers who murdered the goblin tried to intervene, the half-orc pulls out his deckchair, takes a seat and successfully intimidates both of them into keeping their distance. One of those petty officers had a whip however, and managed to pull the legs of the half-orc's chair out from under him.

The rest of the PCs take this as a sign to begin their planned mutiny. They manage to kill one of the petty officers and knock the other one unconscious before they are overpowered.

The captain does not abide violence between crewmembers (that he is aware of) and punishes all of the PCs to varying degrees. He wants them off his ship and foists them off on his first mate after they capture another vessel and man it with a skeleton crew.

The half-orc, now nicknamed 'Captain Coffee', wants his confiscated coffee beans back but had managed to annoy the quartermaster in a failed attempt to frame the surviving petty officer for theft. So he stole his stuff back - with no hope of hiding it as he carried it onto the new boat. The captain stopped him, accusing him of theft.

Captain: "You've got some brass balls to steal from me, swab. I've keelhauled folk for less."
Coffee: "I'll pay you more than they're worth from my share of the booty." (Fool forgot honourifics AND any semblance of a respectful tone)
Captain: "What if I'm not interested in yer gold? I'll give ye yer stuff - got no need fer it anyway - in exchange fer two of yer fingers."

Coffee's player asks me what the game penalties for losing fingers are. I say -1 Dexterity for every three fingers lost. The character says okay, grits his teeth, draws a knife and cuts off the little finger from each hand.

"Those weren't the fingers I wanted." the cap'n says with an evil smile.

Being somewhat of a powergamer and planning a Dex-based build, Captain Coffee's player couldn't cope with the permanent loss of Dexterity that came from losing four fingers and attacked the ship's cap'n. Coffee died and his player went on to roll up a character who was far less fun and far more of a headache for me.
JohnLynch Posted - 07 Nov 2015 : 07:52:41
My first Forgotten Realms character fell into a pit trap in Undernountain. Had a few monsters fall in with me and drop me to unconscious. The rest of the party decided it was a good time to retreat and tried to grab my unconscious body with a grappling hook. One critical hit later I'm dead but they have my head (the monsters ate the rest of my body). I eventually got better.
Dargoth Posted - 07 Nov 2015 : 05:31:36
I cant remeber any of my characters dying in amusing ways but I do remeber two player characters in a game I was running dying in a way that would for ever be refered to as the Hannibal Barca incident.

The Hannibal Barca incident

I was running Ruins of Adeventure (The tabletop version of the old Pool of Radience SSI game) and the party had enter the Pyramid on the Stonjaw River north of Phlan. Now inside the Pyramid are a series of Teleport pads that would take you to different locations in the Pyramid so as the DM I decided to mix things up and have the party get split up. The Dwarvern Fighter and a human ranger where together but it just so happened both those characters had oppted not to buy ayn adventuring gear ie Rope, Grappling hook, 10' pole etc and even though they where now level 6 they had never bought the equipment.


So the pair wandered around the lower level of the Pyramid trying to find the rest of the party. Eventually they encountered a 20 foot deep pit trap that both fell into. I was at this point that they released that they had no way to get out, the walls where sheer and they had no climbing equipment. So the Ranger decides to use a Wand he was carrying but hadnt been used or identified. Now the player running the Ranger was smart... to a point he didnt know what the Wand would do it could have been Fireballs for all he knew so he decided to fire the wand straight up hoping that if it was a damage spell they would be out of range.

So I said are you sure you want to do that? Yes he said. Ok Role percentiles and tell me what you get.. At that point they knew exactly what the Wand was they had played alot of D&D and there was ONLY ONE WAND that used Percentiles the WAND OF WONDER.. So there where a few things on the list that if they got them might have gotten them out of the 20' deep pit so I look up the result and start laughing.

"A gate briefly opens, and two elephants appear 20 feet in the air diretcly above you, they fall into the pit ontop of you"


I then hand each player a blank character sheet.

I then turned to two of the other players who are on the same level and say "You briefly hear something that sounds like Trumpeting Elephants and then Silence"

The other 4 players burst out laughing
Alystra Illianniis Posted - 30 Sep 2015 : 04:22:56
quote:
Originally posted by Renin

quote:
Originally posted by Alystra Illianniis

The other one is the one and only time I ever actually killed a PC as a DM. (I'm rather proud of my record of almost 100% survival rate of PC's in my games...)


I'm actually more proud of the fact that my players have said to me "We're terrified of your adventures. We truly believe we will all die each time we start."

I don't want to kill them purposefully, but...yeah, they'll die if they screw around and don't get down to work. :D




Well, I actually try to see how far into the adventure the players can get without a) getting killed, or b) the group dissolving. That was actually one of my longest-running campaigns, so it was pretty shocking that someone actually died. Most of the other games I've run have been short-lived due to players not being able to continue the game for one reason or another.

Here's a fun one from my current group, in which I am a player. I am playing Beznik, my pyromaniac gnome wizard (whom some of the long-time members here may be familiar with). We also have in our group, a female ifrit barbarian, whom he has developed a bit of a crush on, due to her fire resistance and her "hot-headed" temper and bravery. SO he's become somewhat prone to using his fire spells when she's in the line of fire, so to speak, knowing that she will most likely be okay. At one point, he even used a flaming sphere right next to her, to take out several kobolds- some of whom turned out to also have fire resistance due to being red dragon descended! Well, none of the party was killed, but the ifrit took some damage due to failing resistance rolls. Oops.
Delwa Posted - 09 Sep 2015 : 18:29:21
So, I was in an abandoned Castle keep with a Dwarven Cleric of Talos as my fellow party member. Just the two of us, if I recall correctly, and we saw a mage looking guy approaching with a small army (less than 100, more than 50) of skeletons. We shut the gate, attempted to parley, failed. No biggie. It's just one guy, itching for a fight, and all he's got with him are skeletons. This was back in 3.5, when a high level character could wade through skellies with little enough to fear. I had an AC near 30, so after conferring with my companion, I shadow stepped down to try and Sneak Attack the Necromancer. Plan was, if I failed to drop him, I'd shadow step back to the safety of the keep and be ok. Even if a few skeletons managed to hit me, I'd still be ok health wise. Solid plan.
Except I never got the chance to shadow step back. I popped up beside said Necromancer, critically failed my Sneak Attack, and discovered what Baneguard were, all before my next initiative.
Every. Single. Baneguard nailed me with its signature Magic Missile attack.

I was toast. Nay, buried, even.
The DM allowed the cleric to teleport down, grab my corpse, and haul me to safety, and later I was resurrected, with a healthy respect for skeletons. The rest of my party showed up next session and took care of the Necromancer, but it was still a very unsettling way to learn about Baneguard.
BenN Posted - 09 Sep 2015 : 07:15:51
A long time ago, exploring some drow city in the Underdark with my school friends.

As the party thief, I want to sneak around so I tell the DM that I want to be as inconspicuous as possible.

The DM smirks, and asks me if I'm sure I want to do that?

I angrily reply 'Yes!'.

I then get lit up with all sorts of Faerie Fire, I make a ton of noise, my clothes & armor catch alight, and I'm instantly attacked by all the drow in the nearby area, attracted by the spectacle.

Turns out that I misspoke; I insisted to the DM that I wanted to be as conspicuous as possible.

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